I know I need You

My Mistake

[CONTENTID1]Chapter 8: I know I need you[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Soundtrack: "Times" - Tenth Avenue North

[/CONTENTID2][CONTENTID3]        

They didn’t meet at their usual spot again before class on the next day. Both of them were too uncomfortable about what happened that they didn’t know what they should say to each other. That way, Nam Soon just headed to the class, but part of him was satisfied when Heung Soo changed spots, sitting in the empty seat beside him. He gave a quickly glance at Nam Soon, but didn’t spoke.

 

"I know I need you."

"I need to love you"    

 

Woooow,” Ki Duk exclaimed next to him. “Looks like you two have come to terms again,” he commented with his usual mocking way, but stopped as soon as Heung Soo sent him an annoyed glance. The class passed slowly, and Nam Soon couldn’t pay attention to anything other than Heung Soo. Fragments of what happened last night started to come through his mind, while he thought to himself that class should pass faster, but at the same time he wasn’t sure of what he should say to Heung Soo.

Nam Soon waited while the time slowly passed, replaying everything that happened the day before in his mind. He watched Heung Soo’s lips, reminding himself of the way he disposed kissed through all his body.  Nam Soon unconsciously started biting his lower lip, without taking his eyes of Heung Soo. Oh, how he wished he could drag Heung Soo out of the class and go somewhere isolated so they could finish what they were doing… And how he wished he was not that embarrassed about it to the point where he didn’t know what to say to the other.

           

“I long to feel you

I feel this need for you

And I need to hear you, is that so wrong?”

           

The class finally ended and Nam Soon breathed out. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do, but before he could even think about it, Heung Soo had already left. He sighed and headed alone to the refectory. He was passing through the table, already with his lunch, when Heung Soo stopped right beside him.

“Can we talk after school?” He whispered, with a serious expression on his face. Nam Soon heart ached, a little apprehensive of his seriousness, but he just nodded with his head.

He knew they needed to talk. Of course they did, after what happened the day before. Heung Soo corresponded, and even kissed him. He wouldn’t change his mind from a day to another, would he? Nam Soon just breathed loud, trying to calm down a bit. He needed to stop thinking about this stuff. What they did was enough for him to start believing in Heung Soo’s feelings… It wasn’t a mistake.

 

“The times you doubt me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, 'Is this for real?'”

 

After he finished his lunch, Heung Soo headed to the rooftop alone. He was not sure how he was supposed to talk to Nam Soon, so he needed to be alone to think about it. What should he say? He knew what he felt, but how should he put it into words? Would Nam Soon accept them? Well he probably got his answer when Nam Soon kissed him yesterday, so he didn’t know why he was so insecure.

He sighed, cleaning his throat, and tried to formulate what he had to say to Nam Soon. He wanted to say how much Nam Soon meant to him. How much those three years they’ve been apart only served for him to see how much Nam Soon was important to him, and that he wanted to stay forever by his side. But not just as a friend. He was so much more than a friend.

“… I sound like a girl,” he murmured to himself, sighing loud. Maybe he didn’t need to say all that. Just one I want to be with you would be enough. He said that out loud a couple of times, in different ways, only too sigh again later, feeling ashamed. He was not made for this kind of thing. Maybe he should only wait for the time to think about it. He would probably regret that later, but everything he said now sounded awful.

He just sighed once again, forgetting this stupid theater. He would definitely say what came to his mind at the time. Heung Soo turned to the door to return to class. For one moment he thought he saw the shadow of someone running out as soon as he turned around, but when he reached the stairs, he saw nobody. He was probably just seeing things.

           

“Are You done forgiving?

Oh can You look past my pretending?”

 

Kang Joo had just gone to the rooftop searching for that Heung Soo, and was surprised to find him talking to himself. She knew already he was a pain in the , but she didn’t know he was crazy too. Either way, she meant to scold him for not calling her friend and making her wait one whole day for his phone call. That was until she understood what he was saying.

“I want to be with you…” He was repeating that over and over with different tones each time. It took only a moment for her to realize that he must be practicing that phrase, probably to talk to someone later. And she already knew who it was. She smiled mischievously, running away from there before he could see her.

She needed to call Goo Jae Hee right now.

 

 

When it was finally time to go home, Nam Soon stood up quickly. Heung Soo had already left - he would probably be waiting for him at the school gates. Nam Soon couldn’t avoid feeling anxious. What was he going to say to him? It was impossible not to feel insecure. He knew he shouldn’t, but at the same time he couldn’t deny that this was something that would change their relationship completely.

He finally reached the front gates, and Heung Soo was already there waiting for him. But that was what he thought, because soon after that he saw the girl from the other night. Goo Jae Hee. She was with him. Nam Soon’s heart almost stopped beating at that vision. He just couldn’t allow himself to get closer to them.

That was what Heung Soo wanted him to see? That he’s, in fact, interested in her, and not in him? Was that why he was with her now? Did he want him to see it? He never thought Heung Soo would do something like this… Was he afraid to talk to him? Couldn’t he tell him face to face that he didn’t like him back? So why did he kiss him yesterday? His attitude didn’t make sense, but all he could allow himself to do right now was to turn to the other way and jump out from the gates, so Heung Soo wouldn’t see him coming.

Rather than sad, he was angry. He was angry and disappointed with Heung Soo. How could he do that?

 

“The times you're broken.

The times that you mend.

The times that you hate me, and the times that you bend.”

 

Heung Soo was waiting for Nam Soon when he saw Goo Jae Hee arriving side by side with Kang Joo. She was smiling brightly when they met.

“I guess you have a lot to talk about,” Kang Joo whispered, pushing her towards Heung Soo and moving away so they could talk alone.

Heung Soo looked back to the school entrance, to see if Nam Soon was in his sight, but apparently he was still in class. Now was not the time for her to come. Why was Kang Joo so nosy?

“Hi,” she greeted him, still smiling. Heung Soo forced himself a fake smile, still taking glances at the school entrance.

“Kang Joo told me you had something to say to me…” She continued, waiting for what he had to tell her. She heard everything that her friend told her about the things that he was repeating at the school rooftop. But in fact she was still suspicious about it, and had her own thoughts that she avoided mentioning to Kang Joo. However, just in case, she would wait for his response.

“What?” He stopped looking back to the entrance and faced the girl for the first time. What did Kang Joo told her? He sighed at this thought. That girl was indeed worse than he imagined. “I don’t…” But he stopped trying to find any excuses. Well, since she was here anyway, it was better to take this moment to tell her the truth. He couldn’t let this go any further anyway, and let her waiting wouldn’t be a nice thing to do. “…I’m sorry,” he spoke, hoping that she wouldn’t be so sad about it. “I shouldn’t have done that the other night… The fact is that I’m in love with someone else… I’m really sorry.”

Well, it was not something easy to say, but he was relieved to see that she was still smiling a little.

“I hope things will work out between you and Nam Soon,” she whispered, looking him in the eyes. Heung Soo was glad he wasn’t drinking anything at the moment or he would have choked for sure.

“What?” He managed to ask with the most confused look. Did someone hear anything? What was going on? One thing was to be with Nam Soon, to love him, and tell him that, but another one was to everyone else to know about it. How was this even possible?

“I’m not blind. I saw the way you were looking at each other. I was not sure since you flirted with me, but I guess I was right,” she continued, but for Heung Soo’s surprise she didn’t seem awkward about it. It was like it was something completely normal in her point of view. “Don’t worry… I won’t tell Kang Joo. People around here are still closed minded about these kind of things, so I’ll make sure to keep it to myself,” and them she bowed, leaving an astonished and embarrassed Heung Soo behind.

Was that so obvious? The way he looked at Nam Soon? He should be more careful the next time if he wanted to keep that a secret – which he did. He should have denied more, but that would look suspicious too. Could he trust her? Yet, it was not like he had any other options right now.

He reminded himself again of the reason he was standing at the front gate, and was surprised to see that most of the students had already left the building, but Nam Soon was not there yet. He never took so long to leave class. In fact he was always one of the firsts to do it. If something had came up he would certainly call him, but there was no message or lost phone calls at his cell phone. What was going on? Didn’t he intend to talk to him?

He tried to wash away any bad feelings about him running away again. Nam Soon would not do that. Not after everything they had been through. But, apparently, he had left without talking to him, since another twenty minutes passed and there was no sign of Nam Soon around. He sighed, disappointed, and headed home.

But something inside him didn’t let he just forget this. He still wanted to talk. They needed to clear everything, and after what happened yesterday he had reasons to believe that his feelings were mutual. Or else, why would Nam Soon return his kiss? He knew it was not because of guilty anymore.

And like that, he headed to Nam Soon’s house instead. He tried calling him along the way, but Nam Soon didn’t pick up. Trying to overlook any bad feelings, he continued his way to his friend’s house.

Once again he was glad he made one extra copy of the keys, since he was sure Nam Soon wouldn’t respond him. He entered the door and found Nam Soon sitting at the couch, watching TV – The fact that it was the News Channel made him be sure that something was wrong.

“I kept waiting for you,” Heung Soo said, heading to the side of the sofa, without sitting.

“Have you?” Nam Soon let himself speak. He was so angry that he just wanted him to leave. He didn’t want to see his face at the moment.

           

“Well, my love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.”

 

“We agreed we had to talk...”

“I believe I already got what you had to say. No need for explanations,” Nam Soon answered, turning the television off and heading to his room, giving his back to Heung Soo.

“What…” Heung Soo didn’t get what he was saying at first. But then it got really clear. “You saw me talking to Jae Hee at the gates, right?”

Nam Soon sighed annoyed. Why did Heung Soo have to make things so difficult?

“Yes, I saw you. So what? ”

“You got it all wrong…” Heung Soo whispered.

Nam Soon finally looked back, facing Heung Soo.

“Couldn’t you say it in my face that you don’t like me that way? Why are you so afraid of doing so? And what the hell, you bastard, if you didn’t want to, why did you kiss me?”

Heung Soo was speechless for one moment. It was so awkward that it was funny. They were, indeed, so unlucky.

 

“The times you're hurting.

The times that you heal.”

 

“I said you got it wrong,” Heung Soo repeated, this time louder so Nam Soon could hear it clear. Nam Soon just shook his head a little to the side, like he was trying to understand what Heung Soo just told him. “She appeared there by surprise, and I told her the truth… That I like someone else.”

“So…” Nam Soon whispered, starting to get embarrassed by his girly attitude of running away again.

“So… I like you that way.”

Nam Soon didn’t know what to say right now, he was feeling ashamed of his own attitude. Heung Soo noticed that he was embarrassed and took a step forward, pushing Nam Soon toward the closet and placed his hands on his waist. “Can we talk now?” He asked, setting their mouths really close, while his forehead touched Nam Soon’s.

“Can we talk later?” Nam Soon whispered, letting a malicious smile run through his face, feeling excited about the proximity. “I’ve been thinking about this the entire day… I want to kiss you so badly, you bastard.”

That was more than enough to make Heung Soo forget about any lovely thing he planned to say. Yeah, they could totally talk later.

Nam Soon groaned and ran his hand up and down at Heung Soo’s side, pulling at his blazer. Heung Soo pulled his chin forward and kissed him, making Nam Soon breath against his lips, inhaling Heung Soo’s scent and letting it flood through him.

Heung Soo’s hands dug under Nam Soon’s school blazer to slide around his waist, pulling Nam Soon close to him as their lips touched. Nam Soon’s eyes feel shut and all the tension drained out of him as he wrapped his hands around Heung Soo. He was so warm, and his scrumptious scent seeped into him, releasing all the worries he’d been facing.

“I like you so much, you bastard.”

After hearing those words with such a charming tone, Heung Soo couldn’t avoid the beating of his heart getting faster. He spread his arms, wrapping Nam Soon in a full embrace, holding him tightly.

                       

“I hear you say,

"My love is over. It's underneath.

It's inside. It's in between.”

[/CONTENTID3]


[CONTENTID4]

(UPDATE 2014/12 : Chapter last edited and revised on this current date)

Hi! Finally is here, it took longer than usual, I'm sorry for that... This chapter was harder to make, since I'm not a big fan of fluffy, as you can see... u.u Anyway, enjoy the happy moments for a while, cause more angst is coming :DDD I hope I don't take so long with next chapter too, but I can't guarantee you :/ Hope you liked this crap chapter anyway, sorry for that... And thanks again for anaapenas that gave me some ideas to save the chapter, and xBlackD69 for reviewing it as aways :) And all of you for the reading and commenting ^_^

[/CONTENTID4]

 

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harukno
Hey, I've started a new HeungSoon fanfiction, check it out: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1362101

Comments

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lilith9999 #1
Chapter 35: Ten years later, I read your story again. Happy ten years anniversary Heungsoon!
namjoons_plug #2
I love this fic definitely will read more than once
KonekoLush #3
Every chapter is blank for me... I tried other fanfics and they work fine. Is it working for anyone else?
Amoreno2 #4
Chapter 35: Ohh!! Their journey was long but they had a happy ending!! Thank you for sharing such an amazing story authornim:)))
cily265
#5
wow, this is an amazing fic. i haven't finished it yet, but i will get to it.
Arxynth
320 streak #6
This is my first time reading a fanfic. I have the urge to read it after watching School 2013 and after knowing how close woo bin and jong suk are in real life.

To be honest, I was somewhat sceptical to read it at first. And, boy, was I wrong, I didn't expect this fanfics would be so gooooood. I was not expecting it at all. Every chapter keeps me on the edge. You portray them perfectly. The dialogues, the scene, the expression, it was just beyond awesome. Keep it up with the good work. Thank you thank you for this. Daebakk!
Nour93 #7
Chapter 35: I never stopped rereading this fanfic
Just whenever i missed them ( which is like everyday they r my fave ship after gtop) i would Always comeback to read few chapters
This and the other fanfic too r so speical to me
You fan videos too r so beautiful and breathtaking I ALWAYS come back to watch them
Thank you so much
Black_can_be_blue #8
Chapter 2: Can you please, stop making me cry? Seriously I already had enough with this serie, and their "friendship".
Xyakori
#9
Chapter 35: Ahhh, this was a big journey with a lot of stuff that happened... Such a good story really, I loved it and am so happy for the ending. I hope that korean lgbt couples can be this happy one day, soon. And any lgbt couple anywhere really. People that find love within themselves and others deserve to be happy. I wish my mother didn't think lgbt people are sick, in the end even if there is something different with our brain from straight cis people, it doesnt make us wrong. Plenty of categories is good and interesting, and lets not talk about the view my father has on gay men especially, well he is racist and in general hates anybody different than him. I'm glad I have lost my emotional connection to my whole family for years now because I would be ing depressed from this too now that I know that I so belong in the lgbt category. And you know what? the categories, if people are happy without mentally or physically hurting others(not -hurting or "aethetic" hurting, you gay couples can kiss anywhere like you) then let them do whatever they want and embrace it, not do it but accept it and think of it as nothing really, because they are people like you. I could speak forever, bye, awesome fic
Xyakori
#10
Chapter 26: YASSS