[CONTENTID1] Chapter 20: You take away my fears [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Soundtrack: Only You Can Save Me – Darin | Everything - Lifehouse

[/CONTENTID2][CONTENTID3]

“I'm safe when I am in your arms 

And only you can set me free 

And only you can save me”
 

Heung Soo was firmly holding Nam Soon’s hands. His own were all sweaty as he dragged Nam Soon out of there. Their eyes didn’t meet once on their way to the school entrance and Heung Soo didn’t look back a single time. He didn’t know what to do next or where to go. The only thing in his mind now was to leave that place - leave those people that whispered loudly about them. Nam Soon’s hands were cold and Heung Soo knew he should be nervous. He knew he promised he wouldn’t do something like that.

But he didn’t care anymore. He just couldn’t watch Nam Soon being treated like that alone - he had to stand up for him, he had to be there for him at this moment he needed him the most. He couldn’t risk losing Nam Soon again. He was not as afraid of the others anymore, and he had to prove that to Nam Soon.

That’s why they needed to be together. Only together they would manage to get through this.

“Why did you do it?” Nam Soon hissed when they reached the school entrance, pulling his hand away from Heung Soo’s. “I thought we had agreed...”

“ that agreement. I can’t see that anymore and do nothing,” Heung Soo interrupted him, placing his hands on Nam Soon’s shoulders and looking straight into his eyes. He couldn’t help noticing how red and watery they were. “I told you I don’t care,” he whispered.

Nam Soon tried to avoid looking back at him, so he focused on staring at the concrete on the floor.

“…But you do care. You care, and I do too,” Nam Soon murmured, his voice so low that he was not even sure Heung Soo had heard him.

“ it. them. Let them do what they want,” Heung Soo hissed, grabbing Nam Soon’s hand again.

“It’s unbelievable to hear you say that,“ Nam Soon couldn’t avoid a smirk to appear on his lips as he lifted his head to face Heung Soo. “You are stealing my lines.”

Heung Soo returned the smile. It was a small one, but that came from his heart. It was like a small light appearing after the storm. A small ray of hope - a hope that, in the end, things would turn out to be okay.

“Let’s get out of here,” Nam Soon suggested, holding back his hand.

Without any more hesitation, Heung Soo held it tightly, as they headed out of the school gates.

They didn’t care where they were going. Anywhere was fine, as long as it was away from there.

“The comfort in your voice 

Is all I ever need to hear 

You take away my fears“

It didn’t take long for them to decide were they should go. As a result, they were spending the end of their afternoon at one video game arcade. It has been some time since they last went to one, so they were really having fun playing one fighting game, on where Heung Soo seemed to be losing badly to Nam Soon.

But that didn’t really matter. What mattered was the moment they were living right now. There, with Nam Soon, he didn’t even felt the hours passing. Their worries, just for those following hours, disappeared completely.

Nam Soon’s laugh that had disappeared since some time ago had reappeared - it was just like those joyful days with no worries whatsoever. There, it didn’t matter what they were, it didn’t matter if they were friends or lovers, it didn’t matter if at the end of the day they would just go back to their own place or if they would spend the night together. It didn’t matter what others thought of them. All that mattered was that moment - that at this moment there was no one else other than them.

“Yah, Nam Soon, you’re cheating,” Heung Soo complained, hitting the back of his head playfully.

“It’s not my fault that I’m better than you,” Nam Soon smirked, as he won the game for the 10th time. Heung Soo sighed loudly, rolling his eyes.

“Yah, let’s do something else,” Heung Soo complained, getting away from the arcade. Nam Soon followed him from behind.

“You don’t know how to lose,” he hissed, pushing Heung Soo by the shoulder, as he responded him with a small smirk.

“Shut up, bastard,” he said, putting his arms around Nam Soon’s shoulders.

“Yah, come here,” Nam Soon said excitedly, pulling Heung Soo by his hands after they passed right by one photo booths.

“Neo prints… really?” Heung Soo smirked, staring at Nam Soon with a funny expression, but Nam Soon just pulled him inside the cabin.

“Just smile, bastard,” Nam Soon pushed him lightly by the arm.

Heung Soo stared back at Nam Soon, with a smirk still on his face.

“Look at the camera,” Nam Soon said, while he made his usual cute smile with a V sign with his fingers. Heung Soo sighed, and smiled at the camera. But, before the flash went on, he leaned forward and planted a kiss at Nam Soon’s cheeks just when the photo was taken.

“Yah, why did you do that?” Nam Soon hissed, pushing Heung Soo, but without controlling the smile that appeared at his face. Heung Soo just smirked, as they got out to get the prints.

“Look at this, what if someone sees this?” Nam Soon laughed, staring at the picture of him being surprised by Heung Soo’s sudden kiss. Heung Soo laughed back, and took it away from his hand.

“Let them see it,” Heung Soo hissed, putting the prints into his wallet.

“Yah, you better hide it well, you don’t want your noona to see it,” Nam Soon warned him, and Heung Soo just shook his head in agreement.

“You’re worried now?” Heung Soo mumbled, placing his arms around Nam Soon’s shoulder again as they headed out of the arcade.

“Of course I am,” Nam Soon whispered, the smile suddenly vanishing from his face.

“Let’s go home,” Heung Soo suggested, trying not to start thinking about his sister and how she would react if she found out the truth about them.

“Let’s eat some ramen first,” Nam Soon suggested, which resulted in a smile to reappear at Heung Soo’s face.

”I can hear your laughter 

Echoes in my eardrums 

The treble and the base 

Kills every inch of pain“

The sunlight had already faded away when they reached Nam Soon’s house, and Heung Soo was glad they did because the temperature was starting to get cold, and the school uniform was just not doing enough to keep them warm.

They went straight ahead for Nam Soon’s bedroom, from where he hushed to get a blanket from the wardrobe. They sat in front of the closet, and Nam Soon hurried to cover Heung Soo with it, cuddling himself against his body to warm up.

“ing wind almost got me frozen,” Heung Soo complained, warming up his hands against each other under the blanket. Nam Soon reached out for them, holding them tight.

“Thanks for today...” he whispered, looking back at Heung Soo, who wrapped his arms around Nam Soon’s shoulders, bringing him closer. They spent some minutes like that, only feeling each other’s warmth. Heung Soo drowned into Nam Soon’s scent, trying to engrave it into his memory, so that when they were passing through hard times, he would remember of these precious moments - so he could remember that, even if things were to get unbearable, in the end of the day, he would still have that reminder of his lover that proved every hardship was worth it.

“I’m sorry,” Heung Soo whispered, his fingers strolling through Nam Soon’s right arm. “I’m sorry for all those times I was so afraid.”

“Don’t be,” Nam Soon said honestly, staring into Heung Soo’s eyes. “Now I understand what you were so worried about. “

But Heung Soo shook his head, cupping Nam Soon’s cheeks gently into his hands. “No, I’m sorry and I should have helped you the day this started.”

“You shouldn’t. It’s my fault,” Nam Soon replied, pulling Heung Soo’s hands away from his face, but not releasing them. His eyes traveled around the room, as he thought about how he needed to mention this. “They found out because of me... So, Heung Soo, how come you have never asked me about it? Why have you never questioned me for the reason this rumor spread on the first place?”

“Because it’s not important,” Heung Soo confessed. “They would find out eventually. It doesn’t matter. Don’t think it was your fault, because it wasn’t. We weren’t being that careful anyway. Someone would eventually find out.”

“Or not…” Nam Soon whispered.

“It doesn’t matter,” Heung Soo said softly, placing a kiss on Nam Soon lips, making him finally stare at him again.

“Let’s not listen to them. Their opinions don’t matter.  You had told me this before.” Heung Soo forced a comforting smile, holding tight at Nam Soon’s hands. “Besides, they don’t even know whom they are playing with. If they knew...”

“Heung Soo,” Nam Soon interrupted him right away, releasing his hands. “What are you talking about?”

Heung Soo stopped talking right away, staring at the door in front of them.

“Nothing, forget it,” he forced another smile, patting Nam Soon’s back. “Let’s go to sleep, it’s getting late.”

Nam Soon just nodded, as they adjusted themselves over the blanket. Heung Soo wrapped his arms around Nam Soon’s waist, bringing him close, as Nam Soon gave his back to him.

It wasn’t anything - Nam Soon knew what Heung Soo was talking about. He knew he was remembering the old days, where no one would even dare to speak badly about them.

But that was what feared Nam Soon the most - not the bullies, not the curses. The worst part was trying to hold back, trying not to lose it and go back to be that guy again - that guy that would beat others up just for the adrenaline, that guy that kicked faces and broke bones just for the fun of it, the guy that broke his best friend’s leg, the guy that ruined Heung Soo’s dream.

“But when I shut my eyes 

I see you like you're really there”

They decided to go together to school on the next day. There was no reason anymore for them to hide it. It was already decided that they would face this together. They would stick to each other, and support each other, no matter what would come in their way.

Their path for school was silent. They didn’t know what to expect when they arrived, but when they heard the loudly talk as soon as they approached the entrance, they knew something was not quite normal. Had it to do with them or not, they would find out soon.

The first thing they saw was the excessive amount of people standing there, much more than the normal amount. It was like they decided to stay at the entrance instead of heading to their classrooms.

The second thing was the amount of papers on the walls and thrown at the ground. As soon as they passed through the gates, most of the eyes stared at them, and that was when they knew it indeed had to do with them. Well, they couldn’t say this was really a surprise though.

Heung Soo bent down and picked up one of the papers thrown at the ground. He quickly removed the dirty from it, as he stared at his and Nam Soon’s pictures - which probably were taken from the school year book, and the word queers written in black ink in front of their faces. Heung Soo promptly looked at his side, and watched as Nam Soon stared intensely at it, without uttering a single word.

Heung Soo ripped the piece of paper and threw it at the trash, continuing his way to the classroom with Nam Soon by his side. They wouldn’t let it get to them - they couldn’t.

“Don’t let it get to you,” Nam Soon whispered, afraid this would make Heung Soo’s fears return. But, for his relief, Heung Soo just stared back at him, and Nam Soon could notice a small reassuring smile at his lips - a really discrete one, but he was more than sure that it was there.

“You are the strength

That keeps me walking”

The class succumbed into a piercing silence on the minute they walked in - they could notice that some students were looking at those papers, and quickly hid them under their desks. Ki Duk was one of them.

This time, no greeting with the usual Hyung-nim was heard. But he didn’t dare to say anything, because he still knew who they were, and that was probably the only reason why the class was not bullying them too - but the whispers were still there, the stares were still there, and remained there until the end of the class. It was like they had come to a whole different place. No one was the same. It was like they were strangers in a place where everyone was judging them.

Class went on more silent than it had ever been, but they didn’t care. That was their promise and it wouldn’t affect them - or at least they would try their best to not get affected by it.

“You are the hope

That keeps me trusting”

It was already lunchtime, but Nam Soon had to stay over to help Ha Kyung with some papers they would have to take over to the teacher’s office. Heung Soo followed ahead, but Nam Soon couldn’t think anything else other than wonder if he was going to be okay.

Before he left, he managed to whisper the word rooftop. He hoped that this would keep him away from the bullies and decrease the chances of Heung Soo doing something that he would regret later.

Ha Kyung was staring at Nam Soon the whole time, but without saying anything - and that was starting to bother Nam Soon a lot, but he didn’t intend to say anything, until she brought out the subject first.

“This things...” she said, taking one of the papers behind one of the desks. And then, she proceeded to take them away from all of the desks at the classroom, ripping them all and throwing them at the trash. Nam Soon watched it amused, wondering if she learned that from Lee Kang Joo. “They are just looking for someone to pick on,” she guaranteed, piling up all of the papers that they would have to take to their homeroom teacher. “You can leave this with me for today. But just today,” she made sure to point out her last phrase. “Also… if you need anything…” she stared at Nam Soon’s eyes. Something in her expression was really unusual – and he was not referring to the fact that she had just volunteered to do his job for him.

“I’m okay,” Nam Soon said, expressionless. “There’s something in your mind? …If it’s about the class reputation…”

Ha Kyung rolled her eyes, picking up the papers with some difficulty.

“Nam Soon, listen... This might sound ridiculous for me to ask...” She rolled her eyes again. “In fact, this is ridiculous... I shouldn’t be asking this, but... It’s something about it...”

Nam Soon understood right away what she was trying to say and that indeed got him irritated. This president stuff was getting in his nerves. He never wanted it anyway.

“You can be class president,” Nam Soon prompted to say. “- or we could do another voting, I’m sure no one’s going to vote for me again.”

“It’s not about that,” she said, adjusting the papers at her arms. “…But is it true then?” She whispered, searching for one sign of an answer at his face. But Nam Soon didn’t give her the chance for that.

“I didn’t say that,” he answered, passing right through her and heading to the door. But she rushed her steps, and blocked his way.

“Nam Soon…” she whispered, staring at his eyes. Nam Soon just stared back, waiting for what she had to say. But, instead, she got out of the way, lowering her head and stared at the ground.

“Never mind...” Ha Kyung whispered, biting her lips nervously. Nam Soon watched her, curious about her unusual attitude, and headed out of the classroom - he didn’t have time for this. He was anxious to meet Heung Soo and too worried to waste his time wondering about whether Ha Kyung was acting strange or not.

…

Nam Soon headed with fast steps to the rooftop, hoping no one had seen him in his way there. But he stopped midway, after hearing Heung Soo’s voice coming from the hallway, right before the stairs.

“He just called me a queer!” Heung Soo shouted, holding tight at the collar of the boy in his front. He was the same that had been assaulting Nam Soon the last few days. Apparently, they found out today, his name was Kim Choong Ki and just like Lee Kang Joo had said, he studied in the class right next to theirs and was a transfer student.

Right in front of them was Kang Oh Hyuk, their new English teacher. Nam Soon didn’t have any opinion about him until now, since he slept in most of his classes.  But, for a first impression outside from class, he got to beat the one he had from Kang Se Chan in a whole new level.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Oh Hyuk hissed, making Heung Soo stare stunned at his teacher, unable to believe what he had just heard.

“What? You were right here,” Heung Soo protested.

His voice was louder than usual, and Nam Soon could sense that the teacher was just about to suspend him, haven’t Nam Soon grabbed Heung Soo’s hand just in time.

“Let’s go, forget this,” Nam Soon stared into Heung Soo’s eyes. “Don’t get expelled because of this,” he whispered, sensing that Heung Soo was about to respond, making Nam Soon hold his whist with more strength. He finally let go of the boy, which smirked at them right before leaving.

“I have my eyes on you,” Oh Hyuk warned Heung Soo before leaving for the teacher’s office.

Nam Soon held Heung Soo’s shoulder tightly, glad he was able to control himself and did not respond to that.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Nam Soon warned him, grabbing his hand and leading him to the rooftop, where they had agreed to meet in the first place. But as soon as they closed the door behind them, Heung Soo let go of Nam Soon’s hand, looking angry.

“Since when did you become like this? If it was before, you’ll have kicked them to the ground days ago,” Heung Soo hissed, turning his back to Nam Soon and then started heading to the railing to watch the school ground. “In times like this I wished the old Nam Soon was back,” he whispered.

Nam Soon, who was getting close to him, stopped midway. Heung Soo didn’t really think straight when he said that. Nam Soon knew it. He would not let himself get hurt by it, or at least that was what he was trying to fool himself with.

He hurried to calm his breath, looking down and avoiding Heung Soo’s stare. Not that it was a big deal, since he didn’t look back once after he had uttered those words.

Slowly, Nam Soon approached him, stopping just a little behind him, and let his hand fall to his shoulder, gently touching it and hoping he would not pull him away angrily again.

“You know why I changed, don’t you?” Nam Soon whispered, his voice badly leaving his throat.

Heung Soo sighed, and finally let his right hand hold Nam Soon’s, which were resting over his shoulder.

“I know. I’m sorry... I got angry. That teacher was covering up that boy and that pissed me off,” Heung Soo confessed, turning over to stare at Nam Soon.

“He’s just hating on us... But we agreed to not be affected by this,” Nam Soon whispered looking back in Heung Soo’s eyes.

“I know... I’m trying,” Heung Soo reassured the other, leaning forward and letting a peck at Nam Soon’s lips.  “I’m sorry,” Heung Soo whispered, while he held Nam Soon against his body in a warm embrace.

“Without you I would fall apart 

I'm safe when I am in your arms “
 

It was gym class after the lunch break and Heung Soo, who usually did not attend, followed everyone to the changing room, afraid of letting Nam Soon alone. He didn’t mind it anymore, even if the class was soccer. That didn’t matter. That was the past, and now he had to stick with Nam Soon.

Nam Soon came talking all the way to the changing room, and, apparently, he and Heung Soo were the only boys speaking there. Suddenly, everyone was silent. It was impossible not to notice, since that was the place where they used as if it were a second class break.

Nam Soon was standing in front of his closet, putting on his gym pants, and suddenly looked at his side, where Ki Duk was standing up, taking glances at Nam Soon and at his own shirt, starting to get it off and stopping midway, looking back at Nam Soon in the process.

There’s no way Nam Soon wouldn’t realize the other was uncomfortable to take his shirt off in front of him.

Nam Soon sighed, rolling his eyes, and stared back at him again.

“Don’t worry, you’re not my type,” Nam Soon sighed, throwing his school blazer over the bench and heading out of the vest, but stopped midway, staring back at Heung Soo, who had just finish dressing.

“What’s your problem?” Yi Kyung cursed at Ki Duk, looking a little bit angry at what he just saw. Nam Soon stared at him, and back at Heung Soo, with an inquiring expression at his face. Heung Soo just let a small smile on his face, and headed out of the changing room, with his arms around Nam Soon’s shoulders. Heung Soo just suddenly remembered the talk he had with Yi Kyung some days ago, and probably that was the moment where he should let Nam Soon know that at least one person was supporting them amongst all this.

“I didn’t say anything!” Ki Duk whispered, his face flustered from embarrassment, as Nam Soon left with Heung Soo, hearing some small giggles coming from the other boys - a laugh that was, finally, not insulting. For some reason it even made them feel a little better.

“You calm the storms

And you give me rest”

Nam Soon went home alone today since Heung Soo said he would stay with his sister again, for she had complained about him not living at his house anymore. They parted a little distant from their usual path, in order to avoid confronting with one of those guys alone. That way, Nam Soon had to take a longer road to his home, but he didn’t really mind.

He was out of deliveries the last few days, which meant he was not receiving much money. Maybe he should consider taking another part-time job soon.

It was past eight when he went out of the bath and found a lost call and a message from Heung Soo in his cell phone.

“Want to have dinner here?”

Nam Soon wrapped the towel on his waist and started typing his answer.

“What about noona?”

Apparently Heung Soo was waiting for him since his next message came less than a minute later.

“She’s okay with it.”

Nam Soon smiled as he read Heung Soo’s reply. In the past, she really liked Nam Soon, especially when Heung Soo’s mother started to get sick. When he spent the days with Heung Soo, she would always come home with snacks for them, always treating him like a younger brother.

Nam Soon didn’t complain that she didn’t forgive him. He could understand her. She had her motives and, once again, it was Nam Soon’s fault anyway. So he was happy he had a chance to get her forgiveness this time.

Nam Soon arrived at Heung Soo’s house forty minutes later. Heung Soo’s dog started barking, warning him of Nam Soon’s presence. He went out of the house smiling widely, and took some minutes to lock his dog with a collar for Nam Soon to enter.

“How come I didn’t see him last time I came here?” Nam Soon asked him, remembering the day months ago that he had practically invaded Heung Soo’s house and came across him coming out of the bath, still when they were not yet together.

“Don’t remember, maybe noona was taking him out for a walk? Since she wasn’t here too…” Heung Soo said, locking the gate behind them and controlling his will to pick a kiss at Nam Soon’s lips. He looked absolutely desirable today. Or maybe was the fact that he knew he couldn’t do it.

“Come, she’s inside,” Heung Soo guided, making a gesture with his hands for Nam Soon to follow him.

“You sure it’s okay?” Nam Soon whispered, a little apprehensive.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Heung Soo hurried him, entering his house and closing the door behind them when they got in.

“You hold me in your hands

You won't let me fall”

Park Joo Mi was serving the plates at the table when they entered. She sent a glance at Nam Soon, and he could see the hurt in her eyes. Nam Soon just bowed, trying to look at least a bit pleasant. He knew how difficult this was for her; therefore he was determined to try his best.

The dinner went on in silence. Heung Soo often took glances at his sister and Nam Soon, but didn’t risk saying anything. Nam Soon concentrated on his food, trying not to mess anything, but couldn’t help noticing that she, too, was sending glances at him once in a while.

“You two, what do you intend to do with your lives?” the sudden question got Nam Soon by surprise. He couldn’t avoid thinking what purpose and meaning was behind that question. Was it intended to him? It was a question that was in fact supposed to mean what are you going to do now that you ruined Heung Soo’s future? But before he could ruminate it even more, Heung Soo prompted himself to answer her, and his answer made Nam Soon’s heart flutter.

“We are thinking of opening a ramen place,” Heung Soo whispered, smiling at Nam Soon in return.

“Really? How come I’ve never heard of this before?” Joo Min questioned, looking at Heung Soo, and then back at Nam Soon.

“I wanted to tell you with Nam Soon,” Heung Soo confessed, wishing he could hold Nam Soon’s hand now. If Nam Soon weren’t a boy, he would be able to. If they weren’t both boys, now he could be telling his sisters that they were in love too. But things were not like that. He had to be glad with what he had achieved today.

...

It was past eleven when Nam Soon was returning home.  Joo Mi didn’t even let him help with the dishes, so after a nice end of day and a couple questions of how they intended to run a business, leaving them with a lot of advices and remembering that they would need a lot of money for it, she was happy that Heung Soo was finally thinking about his future again. Nam Soon said his goodbyes and went on his way home.

He was disappointed he couldn’t even say a proper goodbye to Heung Soo, but they would leave that for another day. He was glad that his noona was finally accepting him in Heung Soo’s life again.

After a couple minutes of walking, Nam Soon passed right through a group of boys with Victory’s uniform, but didn’t even bother to look at them.

That was until he heard them shouting at him.

“Look, if it isn’t the princess here,” the boy in the middle called. Nam Soon felt his blood boiling again, just like it did years ago when he felt he was about to burst. But he breathed loudly, trying to ignore it.

He felt one hand falling at his shoulder, and stopped. Why were they still here at this hour anyway?

“Coming from your boyfriend house?” And then Nam Soon recognized him. It was Choong Ki, the boy he had been dreaming of hitting until unconsciousness these past few days.

Nam Soon held his fist inside his pocket, and continued his way. But Choong Ki put himself in front of him, staring mockingly at Nam Soon and back to his friends.

“How was it? Did you let him your ?” He taunted, and Nam Soon couldn’t control himself anymore.

Before he could even think about remaining calm, the next thing he saw was his fist hitting right at the front of Choong Ki’s face, making him fall straight to the ground.

[/CONTENTID3]

[CONTENTID4]

(UPDATE 2014/12 : Chapter last edited and revised on this current date)

First of all, I'm really sorry for the terrible delay - again. As good news, I'm already working in the next chapter, so I HOPE i won't take so long this time. At least i'll try my best not to!.

And second, thanks for Yoselin (stormpiece.tumblr.com) that reviewed the chapter for me, and thanks for all the support you have been giving me!! It really means a lot to read your opinions and all! Thanks!! :3[/CONTENTID4]