[CONTENTID1]Chapter 1: Tell them I was happy[/CONTENTID1]

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Soundtrack: James Arthur - Impossible (lyrics in italic along the chapter) 

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[CONTENTID3]

“Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken”

Go Nam Soon was walking slowly at that empty street. The sun had gone since long, and a cold breeze was giving him shivers on his spine. He didn’t put on many coats, and had only his skinny arms to warm up a bit his freezing body. This had been one tough day. He had a fight with some delinquents from the other school - they just randomly jumped at him outside the campus, saying they needed one confront with the best fighter of the area.

Nam Soon got rid of them easily, and let go. This was not the time to spend fighting with random strangers. After all, it was one of the last nights he would spend with Heung Soo. In the next few weeks his friend would be moving to Seoul to follow his dream - and Nam Soon was going to be left behind.

He took a deep breath, heading to his friend’s house. He might have just got home after his soccer training - Nam Soon could see the light coming from his room. He smiled slightly before entering the house straight to his room, opening the door to his bedroom without wavering.

Heung Soo had just got out of the shower, and was now drying his feet. He turned to look at him as he passed through the door.

“Why did you come again?” Heung Soo asked, the corner of his mouth turning into a smile as soon as he greeted the other boy.

Nam Soon saluted, tip toeing to Heung Soo’s side and tossing his bag onto the back of a chair.

“Your mother?” he asked, starting the conversation as he always did.

“She’s always the same,” Heung Soo answered, cleaning his wet feet from the bath with a matte blue towel.

“Don’t worry, she’ll wake up tomorrow.”

“You always say the same thing every day,” laughed Heung Soo, turning his head to look at his friend, studying his face. Nam Soon just kept looking at the front, with a reassuring smile.

“It’s true so just believe in me and sleep well,” he said at last, waving his hand and lying onto the floor. Heung Soo followed him, lying by his side, with his arms behind his head.

“I told you to sleep in your house. Why are you here like this every day?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“It’s comfortable here.”

“Why?”

“Loyalty, man. This is what’s called loyalty.”

Heung Soo left a smile turn out on his face again, as he adjusted the blue towel under Nam Soon’s head. Even though they had the same age, Heung Soo had that need to take care of his friend, just like an older brother. He knew he didn’t have anyone else to turn to, just like him.

“Stop bluffing. You came because you didn’t want to sleep alone in an empty house, right? Do you have no one else to turn to beside me?”

He didn’t get a response, so he stood on his elbows to look at the other boy’s face, who had his eyes shut. He knew Nam Soon was pretending to be asleep, since his mouth was still closed - and he always slept with his mouth wide open. He took advantage of this moment to cover him up with a blanket, making sure he wouldn’t feel cold.

“Good night,” he said, adjusting his head over his crossed arms, and closing his eyes trying to fall asleep. But he turned them wide open as soon as he heard some movement from the other boy. He stared back at him when Nam Soon turned to his front, still pretending to be asleep.

Heung Soo curled his fingers against the bedspread, involuntarily his lips, and took a moment to really look at his friend.

Nam Soon’s expression was torn between a slight frown and an amused smile, while he remained between pretending to be asleep and really starting to dream.  Heung Soo peered at him closely, trying to determine if he’d gone to sleep. He rested his chin on his palm, looking into Nam Soon’s face. The boy breathed slowly, his mouth starting to open - meaning he was really falling asleep. Heung Soo let a slight smile grow into his face while he watched him. Seeing such a soft look on his face stirred something warm inside him, that he had to swallow on.

Heung Soo rested by his side of the bed for a long time, frowning at Nam Soon’s sleeping face. Thinking about it, he realized that he would surely miss the guy a lot when he moved to Seoul.

Nam Soon’s mouth closed suddenly, and Heung Soo vision stopped at his lips - they were slight red, and a little dry because of the cold, but he couldn’t stop noticing how they looked so soft and fleshy. He had never paid attention to it before. Heung Soo reached up to feel it with his fingertips, don’t really thinking straight - he just wanted to feel those cherry lips of his.

But that was when he heard Nam Soon snoring, and than he suddenly stopped, lowering his hand and looking away embarrassed. He didn’t know what has got into him on that night, but he was glad Nam Soon was already asleep.

“Damn you,” he muttered softly, closing his eyes.

 “I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love, I did”

The next weeks passed faster than both of them expected. Nam Soon was secretly having a hard time suppressing all his feelings, and Heung Soo pretended he didn’t notice. The fights got worst day by day, and Nam Soon seemed to not care about all the bruises that kept appearing on his skin.

It was Saturday night when Heung Soo ran straight to his friend’s house after noticing he didn’t pick up his phone and didn’t show up at his house like he always did.

The light from his room was turned off, but Heung Soo headed to the house just to make sure. He jumped trough the gates, stopping right in front of the locked door, and rang the bell, waiting for a response, but got none. He tried again, checking through the windows if he could see anything, when the lights blinked inside the house.

He sighed, banging at the door with his fist and waited a few moments before banging again, harder, since he didn’t hear any movement inside.

“Nam Soon?” He called out, trying to keep his voice down. It was late after all, and he didn’t want the neighbors to misinterpret him. He glanced at the windows again and grumbled to himself, looking up and down the street to check if no one could see him. Then he headed straight to the back of the house, into Nam Soon’s kitchen. He opened it with a shove and jumped in.

He growled to himself and glanced down the room at Nam Soon’s bedroom door, frowning at the “Do Not Disturb” sign on it.

“You better be ing taking a nap,” he muttered as he opened it.

He was further dismayed to find the room empty. He stood in the entryway, calming himself before walking around the room, worried - until his eyes glanced at Nam Soon’s backpack thrown at the side of the bed.

“Bastard,” he snarled to the empty room, sitting over the younger boy’s pillow. When Nam Soon got out of the bathroom, a slight surprised expression ran trough Nam Soon’s face. Heung Soo glanced at him, angry, as he joined him strolling in.

“Hey,” Heung Soo said, in a sarcastic tone. “Had a good time?”

Nam Soon didn’t answer, instead, he fell over the side of the room, closing his eyes. Heung Soo changed his expression as soon as he noticed the blood at his friend’s shirt.

“Nam Soon!” He exclaimed, running to grab his arms before he fell over the closet. Without speaking any other word, he ed Nam Soon’s shirt, scattered over the amount of blood. His skin was covered in red bruises, but he didn’t have any cut - meaning the blood was from someone else or from the wounds scattered over his mouth. “What the just happened?” He asked.

“Just got into a fight…” Nam Soon answered, smiling with the corner of his mouth.

“From the state of your body I should say you just got hit by a truck,” Heung Soo hissed angrily as he held Nam Soon down. “Please tell me you didn’t leave anyone lying unconscious in the street.”

“I think I lost this one,” he glanced at his friend, still with that sad smile on his face. “First time for everything.”

“Come on,” Heung Soo muttered as he reached under Nam Soon’s arms to lift him up. “Sit,” he said, positioning him over the bed. He carefully took off Nam Soon’s shirt to check all the bruises. “I’m going to get you some medicine.”

“Hey, you don’t need to worry. I know how to take care of myself,” Nam Soon murmured, joking about it and trying not to think about the reasons why he was acting this way in the past few days.

“Aish. I will always take care of you,” Heung Soo said, more like an habit than actually thinking about it. Nam Soon’s playful expression was quickly replaced by a slight teary eye. Heung Soo looked away, pretending he didn’t notice, but his own eyes turned a bit red too. They both knew that wasn’t the truth - he wouldn’t be there to take care of him anymore.

Trying to run away from the bad mood, Heung Soo sighed and headed for the door, jogging out of the room into the kitchen quickly and gathering the only medicine for bruises that he could find.

When he got back to Nam Soon’s room, he hadn’t moved a bit. He was lying over the bed, his back against the bedspread. He glanced right at the door when his friend entered, relaxing.

“How are you feeling?” Heung Soo asked, getting close to him.

“Okay. Just need to sleep.”

“After the medicine,” he said, leaning next to the bed. “Even better, you should take a shower. You’re stinking like sweat and all this blood…”

Nam Soon remained in silence, staring at the wall as he tried to gather enough strength to stand up and get into the shower. Heung Soo got closer quickly, helping him to stand.

“I don’t suppose you’ll need help showering?” He asked, sure as hell that this would be extremely awkward.

“I’m okay,” he murmured in response, slowly heading to the bathroom and closing the door behind him. Looking up at the mirror, he could see why Heung Soo looked so worried - his chest was all red and his swollen face was stained with blood around his mouth. He let out a pained sigh as his abused skin shifted, and cursed while he undressed the rest of his clothes and entered the shower.

Nam Soon took his time showering, since staying in the cold water made his bruises hurt less. With a sigh, he turned it off some minutes later, feeling a little better. He stepped out of it, grabbing a towel to dry his hair.

At the bedroom, Heung Soo had already spread the blanket over the floor and positioned Nam Soon’s pillow over one side, making sure it was at least a bit comfortable for the other to sleep. As he waited, he started to think about his friend and the reason why he was acting like this - when he moved to Seoul, who would be there to take care of him?

He glanced up at Nam Soon when the boy came out of the bathroom.

“You want some ramen?” He questioned as his eyes stared at Nam Soon’s skinny chest - but before he could think too much about it, he turned off any strange and instinctive reaction willfully.

“That would be great,” Nam Soon answered, while he dried his straight hair. Another towel was wrapped around his lean hips.

“After I put some medicine,” he warned, tapping the bedspread by his side. Nam Soon followed, sitting right next to him as Heung Soo got some medicine out of the bottle. He didn’t touch him for several moments and just hovered next to him on the blanket, peering over the bruised skin. A moment later his hand with a cold salve touched his white skin, making Nam Soon shiver at the touch. After he spread the salve all over his bruised chest and back, Heung Soo changed to another medicine to treat the cuts at the sides of his mouth. With a cotton he grabbed from the bathroom, he started placing it over the younger boy’s lips. Nam Soon trembled a little because of the blazing, but didn’t move, and bit his lower lip unwittingly. That was enough for Heung Soo to stop what he was doing and glance at the other’s moist lips. There was some blood over the cut at his upper lip, and he couldn’t stop staring at it. He his own lips, without realizing that he was getting closer.

“Heung Soo?” Nam Soon finally asked, noticing that the other had stopped spreading the medicine.

“Damn it,” Heung Soo mumbled, getting up. “I’m done. Gonna’ make some ramen.”

He got fast to the kitchen, cursing himself. What the hell was wrong with him on the past few days? In fact, what was wrong with both of them?

In the bedroom, Nam Soon touched slight at his own bruised lips - that look in Heung Soo’s eyes made him shiver, but shortly after, being alone in his room made all the feelings come back. Heung Soo was leaving him, and there was nothing he could do to change it. He tried to prove to himself that he could enjoy his days even without his friend, but the truth was that he had nobody else. He would be totally, and completely alone.

When Heung Soo came back to the room to call Nam Soon to eat, he found his friend lying over the floor, already sleeping. He left a small sigh escape his lips, and crouched next to him, covering the boy’s body with all the blankets he could find. It was dead cold, and the bastard was still with his towels. After making sure that Nam Soon was all covered, he lay down over the bed with no blanket and pillow. He was okay as long as Nam Soon was comforted - and there’s no way he could sleep next to the boy like that.

“Bastard,” he mumbled, taking one last look at the injured guy before turning his back.

“All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible”

“Let’s go,” Nam Soon murmured, while he got close to Heung Soo’s house gate, still chewing on his own emotions.

Today was the day that they were going to say goodbye. Heung Soo was leaving the gang, and as it was supposed to be, he had to receive the punishment. But that was not the reason why Heung Soo was feeling so lost, because he didn’t care about any gang at all. The only thing he cared about was his friend walking in front of him.

His shoulder began to tense as he forced himself not to watch the younger boy moving away. Go Nam Soon didn’t speak anything else and just lead the way onto the streets, heading to the place where Heung Soo was supposed to get beaten, his long legs pounding against the floor.

However, after realizing he wasn’t being followed, Nam Soon turned back, glaring at the other that kept facing him. He could notice that Heung Soo’s eyelids were beginning to get swollen and red, but he pretended not to care.

“What? Are you scared now?” Nam Soon asked, with a mocking tone. For him, this should be his last goodbye. He would not show any sadness, it would be just like the day he joined the gang. And after that they were going to have a party where he would give him a proper good bye, with a brand new pair of shoes that he bought after working really hard.

“Nam Soon…” Heung Soo murmured. He didn’t want to hide his own emotions anymore and pretend he wasn’t seeing his friend’s sorrow. The truth was that he wasn’t all that happy with moving - he wanted to stay right by Nam Soon’s side and take care of him. How could he leave his friend all by himself? Who would take care of him after he had gone?

But, at the same time, he couldn’t throw away his dream just like that. If he wanted to follow the career of a professional soccer player, he would have to move to Seoul eventually, and he might not have another chance if he let this one skip. Nam Soon wouldn’t want that, and Heung Soo knew that this was the reason why he was trying so hard to pretend he was completely fine.

“Come on. We got a party to attend after it,” Nam Soon said shortly, fully aware that he wasn’t being honest with himself. He knew it, but at the same time he couldn’t be. He was supposed to be happy about Heung Soo, and forget about who he wanted to be - a friend who would attach to him and never let him go. But this guy couldn’t show up. He would never be able to face Heung Soo if he was the one responsible for the other to throw away his dream.

Sighing, he continued his way up to the front and heard Heung Soo following him right after.

“And thinking all you need is there

Building faith on love and words

Empty promises will wear, I know, I know”

That night, Heung Soo swallowed everything he wanted to say.

Just ask me to stay with you, you bastard.

If he had said that, would everything be different?

"And now, when all is done, there is nothing to say"

Nam Soon never meant to hurt him that way. He never meant to crush his dreams and make him carve in like that. He was just mad, he just wanted him to stay by his side and not leave him. But not like this.

He had ruined everything, and now he lost everything. Heung Soo would never forgive him, and it was all shattered. Nam Soon didn’t have any reason to live anymore.

He stared helplessly at his bedroom wall, packages of food and blankets all spread over the floor. But he didn’t care anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, as a single tear dripped down his cheeks.

“And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot, I did”

Even though he knew Nam Soon was not there anymore, his legs leaded him to the front of that house. He passed through the open gate, and entered the front door. There was no single furniture at the room anymore. It was now an empty house.

He could still picture Nam Soon laughing at him in his mind, lying down over the bedspread reading some manhwa. He could see him lying next to him as they read together, or when they started to playfully fight using the pillows.

He leaned on his crutch. His leg was still hurting, and probably would hurt forever. With that in mind, he turned his back to his imaginary Nam Soon, and passed right through the door, feeling the tears dripping down his face, uncontrollably, as he promised himself he would never cry again.

“You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won, you can go ahead, tell them
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy”.

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[CONTENTID4]

(UPDATE 2014/11: Chapter last edited and revised on this current date)

I can't believe I had actually posted a fanfic.... It's been over 5 years I think I don't write fanfics... And this is the fist time I ever writed one in English! (English is not my first language...) So if there's some mistakes I'm really sorry!

Anyway I'm really addicted to this couple, but until now I only made fanvids... But yeah, my love from them just got me to this....

I hope you like this fanfic... It's not oneshot, so I must be posting chapter 2, I hope soon but I can't say when. Feedbacks are appreciated ^_^

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