ღ Review | Rusting Kyungsoo

rєvíєwєr: SavvyXD

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ღ Title(5/5):
Your title perfectly matches the reoccurring theme of your story! At first, I was curious as to what this story was about, especially since I love to read angst fictions, so it really drew me in. It’s very unique and uncommon as well. I love it when the title is closely integrated into the story.

ღ Poster&Background(3/5):
Your poster does well with relating to the ‘rust’ aspect, but I couldn’t seem much relation to anything else. Yes, you didn’t have a poster but seemed to have a picture instead, but I would’ve liked more emphasis on the ‘rust’ because it’s not too noticeable in the picture, and more emphasis on the aspect of Jongin’s guilt in their relationship.

ღ Forword&Description(8/10):
The description was a little too vague, in my opinion. I liked how you touched upon the ‘rust’ theme, but I would’ve liked to see the twist in your plot a bit more clearly stated or cleverly worded to pull the reader in even more. Italicizing the word ‘already’ was fine, but I feel another word might have been better in its place, like ‘too’. And the foreword was a nice snippet of your story but I would’ve loved to see the integration of ‘rust’ into his section as well.

ღ Plot’s uniqueness(17/20):
Your story doesn’t seem to be cliché at first, but upon further reading, you see that it’s a broken relationship between two people. This definitely isn’t uncommon, but the theme you decided to emphasize and revolve your plot around made it unique. Though little information was given about Kyungsoo and Jongin’s past, you still managed to captivate me. Something I wished you would’ve done and I felt was slightly lacking was your description of the setting. Depending on the connotation of words you use while describing the setting before you even get too into your plot, you can easily set the tone of the scene to your liking, captivating the reader even further.

ღ Flow(18/20):
The flow of the story was very smooth for a one shot, but I wished the would have lasted a bit longer. It was a bit abrupt and didn’t pull as many emotions out of me as other stories. Perhaps you could not only use more words to describe, but to also use more separate phrases and sentence structures to help with the flow. And I was hoping that at the end, the situation would be explained a bit more clearly so the reader’s feel a deeper connection without having the possibility of being confused.

ღ Grammar&Spelling(16/20):
Your grammar was great again, like last time, but I found a few mistakes. One example is, “I try beating down the feeling of nausea that threatens to twist my stomach.” This would be, “I try to beat down the feeling of nausea that threatens to twist my stomach." There were a few other instances where there were small grammatical errors, but if someone was reading quickly, they could’ve been easily overlooked. Once again, I bring up an issue with the awkwardness. In some instances, I think it would’ve been better if you had used a contraction. It helps with the flow and makes the story seem less like an official document. For example, in “It is a sudden touch so unexpected and fleeting it may have been nothing but an illusion or make-believe.” I would use ‘It’s’ to help with the flow. Some other awkward wordings are the few run-on sentences you have. I understand that they’re present to add emphasis and feeling to the story, but they can be extremely confusing. I also saw that you were writing in first person. It can be tough to write from that point of view, and from my experiences, first point of view makes it difficult to show the full range of emotions felt by all characters, which would leaving a greater emotional connection and impact on the reader.

ღ Words(8/10):
You did use a variety of vocabulary, but since you wrote in first person, there was an abundance of the word, ‘I’. There’s really no other solution than to use ‘I’ many times when writing in this point of view, but it tends to break the flow of the story. But other than that, your word choice was great! I just found myself getting pulled away from the story when you used a little too many adjectives to describe something because that can break the flow as well.

ღ Interest&Enjoyment(7.5/10):
I loved this story! You know I love Kaisoo and angst fictions, so I definitely liked reading it! Something I didn’t like was how confused I sometimes felt while reading. For me, when I read, I truly enjoy a story when I’m completely absorbed, so any little mistakes can pull me away from that state. That happened a few times in your story due to grammar or confusing ideas, so it did take away some of the enjoyment. I didn’t find myself 100% absorbed into the story.

ღ Overall Grade: 82.5%

ღ Extra Notes:
Great job! You’re definitely improving! Remember to always enjoy writing, and don’t let it become an obligation. Write when you’re feeling like you need to let out your thoughts, but don’t force yourself to write or finish anything, because the lack of motivation can be clearly seen. I know for myself, at least, if I’m not in the mood to write, my works definitely do not come out the way I wanted. Also, I’m sorry this review took so long!

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