ღ Review | How to Save a Life

ღ ♥ Sueweetie's Boutique ✿ Graphics-Layouts-Reviews ♥ ღ {BUSY+NOT ACCEPTING}

stσrч títlє: How to Save a Life

rєvíєwєr: SavvyXD

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ღ Title(4/5): Your title isn’t common or cliché at all, and it does seem to match with the plot so far. Though there isn’t a connection yet, I can tell it will relate to the story. One thing I didn’t like so much was how the title could be a little misleading. It may just be me, but I can see this being the title of a fluffier story, or a story without gangs but with angst.


ღ Poster&Background(3/5): I’m not quite sure how your poster matches with the story thus far. It’s not really making sense quite yet, especially with the quote in the upper right hand corner. I understand your idea of gangs and corruption, but it’s a bit borderline with fantasy, and your story isn’t as angsty as I imagined it to be based on the poster. The dark background is nice, but I wouldn’t say the brown goes well with your grayscale poster.


ღ Forword&Description(4/10): Your description was really short, but it did give a small glimpse at what I think will be the of the plot. But it didn’t really summarize the plot at all. I would suggest giving a further background in the foreword so you don’t have to explain so much background in the chapters of the story. The characters aren’t really described, so it’s easy to become confused, especially since you have so many different characters in your story.


ღ Plot’s uniqueness(17/20): Your plot isn’t too common or cliché at all. Stories with gangs isn’t too common on AFF, but it isnt’ too rare, so I wouldn’t say it’s cliché yet. Perhaps sometime in the future, plots with gangs will become a cliché story, but that time has yet to come. I never knew what your next chapter would be on, so it did keep be interested. But something that made me lose interest was how often you switched points of view. That’s an aspect that could get especially confusing throughout your story, especially since you have so many characters. I would suggest making a small note saying whose point of view you are in, or make it a bit clearer right at the beginning of the paragraph and not in the middle.


ღ Flow(14/20): The story is definitely on a set track, but the chapters you have as of now seem to be progressing quite quickly. Because of how quickly the relationship between Kyung and Niel is developing, I found the plot to be a little too fast for my liking. I would have liked to see the ties building between the two. This creates a deeper connection between the characters and helps readers better relate. Also, I didn’t like how many characters you had. It tends to make the story confusing and hard to follow, even if I knew all of them. Yes, the approach you took for your plot is one that’s difficult to clearly write, but you should try to explain things more clearly by going further in depth in your writing so ensure your readers understand your ideas.


ღ Grammar&Spelling(17/20): I thought your grammar and spelling was really good throughout the story! It’s possible that as I was reading, I missed a few mistakes, but there were not tons of mistakes scattered throughout each chapter like other stories may have. Here’s one example from chapter 12, where you wrote, “’We thought that door was locked!’ Woohyun said angerly.” It should be “Woohyun said angrily”. It was easy to understand you words because of your correct grammar, but there were some instances where the wording was slightly awkward, distracting me from the story. It’s hard to find specific examples since your chapters are so short, but the way you explain things, such as character thoughts and settings, is a bit awkward in the sentence structure you choose to write them in. Also, try to mix up your sentence structures and lengths. That can give you a better flow to your story grammatically.


ღ Words(8/10): Your chapters are really short, so it’s difficult to judge this section. There weren’t any repetitive words that stood out for me, but there was a sense of repetitive aura of your writer that always gives me the same feeling each time I read a chapter. I think it’s because with each character point of view, you have the same writing style. Maybe between characters, you could switch up the way you write or the way you structure your plot?


ღ Interest&Enjoyment(6/10): Overall, I did enjoy your story, but not as much as I enjoy some other stories. Despite mistakes and errors, you definitely have a clear, uncommon plot that can keep readers interested. But with the way things were explained, I felt myself becoming confused with the introduction of each character and the occurrence of each event in the plot, which decreased my overall enjoyment.


ღ Overall Grade: 73%


Extra Notes: Sorry this review took so long, but keep up the good work! Don’t let your score discourage you at all. In fact, let it encourage you to write more! Writing more is the number one best way to improve!
[Sorry this took so long, I was a bit caught up in work!]

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kamsahamnida for requesting at Sueweetie's Boutique.
Don't forget to credit us in your foreword & description.
Special thanks to our reviewer!

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Suweetiesama
ღ suho_s2_suzy! Your poster is done!!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
melonsoo #3
Hi, my old username is savvyXD, but I just wanted to say I have to leave this shop, but thanks for having me!
xiu_pao #4
Hello, may we be affiliated? ;u; http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/390445
destroyednature
#5
shurals
#6
i requested