updated!

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“…Nobody knows, except for me, as is it were fools who believed the rumors of our break up. But still you left…”

[Changmin POV]

Resting my body on the couch, I took a deep breath with my both eyes close. I still could feel the pain though I try to ignore it. The pain of being left by someone I loved the most.

“Min!” I knew very well whose voice interrupted my rest.

“Yunho hyung… I really don’t feel like talking now… Spare your words for tomorrow, okay…?” I said while trying my best to focus on trying to sleep.

“I won’t stop bothering you until I get the answers now,” persuaded the leader of mine and I could bet he was sitting opposite to me, glaring without blinking.

“Hyung! You are annoying! Well at least, go take me some juice or something to cool me down.”

“I am your leader Changmin, not a maid. Now, evil Changmin is back even though his heart was broken?” teased the leader while walk away to the refrigerator to get a cold juice to Changmin.

“So… did everything go well between you and your Jaejoongie?”

“Not really well and not really good either…”

“Meaning…”

“Well, we put our relationship on break to give us more time to treasure our true feeling…”

Changmin sighed.

“Brilliant idea indeed! Have you settled down with all the rumors spreading about you and Victoria?”

“I told manager-nim to publicly announce and clarify it just a rumor that me and Victoria were dating.”

“Seems your fans approved you with her instead.”

“That’s because the fans didn’t get to see my true lover, who is Jaejoong. I bet Jaejoong is more breathtaking compared to Vic.”

“Can’t blame them. You should announce your relationship with Jaejoong at the first place… They’ll support you…”

“You know what hyung? You’re right and it’s too late for an act to change everything.”

I walked to my bedroom again on the same pillows I drenched those innocent pillows with tears. My vulnerable heart seems can’t take it any longer.

Maybe, if I am just a normal Shim Changmin who no one cared less to bother, my relationship with Jaejoong will never be this miserable. As always, the written fate can’t be erased, can’t be re-scripted.

I am a failed man, to be yours.

After I mediated with my broken-heart, I walk to the bathroom and filled the bath tub with warm water and lavender essence even added. Lavender, that’s Jaejoong’s favourite scent because it’s soothing, he said, once before.

What a cutie.

I took off my clothes and laid myself in the bathtub covered my torso with foams.

It’s soothing and refreshing.

It soothed the pain in my heart, it refreshed me with anew spirits, a fighting spirits to win my Jaejoong’s heart again.

[End of Changmin POV]

“Jae, why didn’t you accept Changmin back without any doubts? His company had announced on his behalf that Changmin wasn’t alone with Victoria during that night. There’re some staffs too,” said Junsu on one fine day when he met Jaejoong was doing his finance calculation in his Cojjee.

“His company didn’t tell the fans or indirectly tell me that he and Victoria were dating. SM didn’t deny the rumors and they just stated that there’re staffs and it’s not only him and Victoria there. It hurts, you know…”

“I don’t know how to help you Jae, but you’re right Changtoria shipper was really supporting them. Be strong, friend!” assured Kim Junsu to his best friend. It was nothing he could do, but at least a word of encouraging seems fit the best.

When love is real, it finds the way, even it takes some time.

“One last question, Jae… will you leave if Changmin and Victoria were real and they’re dating?”

“I’m ready to raise my white flag, admit by defeats and left without any trace that I ever once be his. I never claimed his love no more, and he will just be a…stranger to me…”

Though Jaejoong tried his back to hold back his tears but he failed to do so. He had put enough fake smiles in front of Junsu and finally the pretend-to-be-strong-Kim Jaejoong again shed his tears.

It always him to be the weakest one and ended up crying, scaring at the untold future.

It had hurts him so much, will there be compassionate for his broken heart?

Silently, he prayed, wishing, there is…at least one little hope.