BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP ! The alarm clock sounded around the room , jaejoong rolled over in his bed and groaned , pushing the pillow hard around his head “SHUTUUUUUP!” exhausted from performing the night before , jaejoongs aching arms reached for the alarm clock feeling around till he finally silenced the irritating noise. “aaaaahhhhh jinjaaaaa !” someone had been tampering with his clock again , and set the alarm 3 hours early. Jaejoong sat up in his sheets and rustled his light brown hair with his hands trying to wake himself up. Reaching for his shirt he got up to wash his face in the bathroom. Barely awake he stumbled into the bathroom and ran the cold water , he still hadn’t managed to get his shirt on ,not bothering with it. Then her voice rang in his ears… he closed his eyes and tried to block her out. Fists and teeth clenched…

 “oppa , saranghae”
“boa ...” he whispers.

Her image fills every inch of his mind. Her small body , Her long brown hair dancing around her face … Her face. That face of an angel smiling up at him with her cute dimple on her left cheek  , the way her eyes curved and closed when she was smiling tore down every wall of his every time he saw it. Her smile used to send his stomach into a frenzy of butter flies and make him the happiest man alive. Now thinking of it made his stomach feel sick and his heart tear apart. He never imagined it would be this hard living without her.
CRACK. Blood poured out of his fist as he smashed it into the mirror. “ahhhh , that’s the third time this month.” He cursed staring at the crack his fist left on the mirror. He reached into the bathroom cupboard below the sink and grabbed the bandage tape in there . he walked back into his room and sat on his bed wrapping the wound carefully. On the radio he could hear them playing the same old he heard every day , until he heard a familiar  voice that made him stop what he was doing and freeze.

JAEJOONGS POINT OF VIEW

Oh , junsu and yoochun are gonna be pissed , this is the third mirror in the house ive smashed this month. . Wrapping my hand all I could think about was the amount of I would have to deal with from both junsu and yoochun for smashing yet another mirror in our house. I don’t know why this happens , I just know that everytime I think of her … of how we left things… it drives me crazy. I can hear the radio playing the same old they always do. A little bit of girl groups here , a little bit of boybands there , a few lame interviews. “huh I wonder who the idiot guest is today” I laugh to myself wondering if that’s where junsu is right now , though I highly doubt it.
*radio* “ Annyeonghasseo !!!!”
I stop what im doing freeze. That voice. That voice. That voice. “BoA” I close my eyes and pray that it’s not her , but I already know the answer . No other voice in the world sounded like that , no other voice could possibly sound like hers.

BOA’S POV

“in the studio today we have BoA KWOOOOON !!! here to talk about her latest song Disturbance. Congratulations on your new single ! its already hit the top ten within a week of release.”

“oh  kamsahamnida “ I laugh , and smile at them

“our listeners were wondering if this song is about anyone in particular , it seems so sad and directly aimed hahahahaha could you possibly have a reason behind this song ?” keep your compsure BoA , just lie , just lie , forget him. “ani , ani hahahaha it’s just a song , there isn’t any meaning behind it. Well I mean every one’s felt this , but there is no CURRENT situation I am writing about. This is actually about my first love, back when I I debuted , back in those days.” I reply trying my hardest not to show how im feeling inside. Well the first love part was true I guess.

“awwwwwww our star of asia’s first love ? WOAAAAAAAH tell us more tell us more!”

“hahahaha ani ani ani , no names just hints”

“THEN TELL US THE HINT !!!!!!” laughter erupts around the studio at the mans impatient scream and I take a second to gather my thoughts and try to figure out what to say.

“deh deh alright hahaha he’s an idol that means … MEANT a lot to me haha” meant ? meant ? what a huge lie. Pabo.

“aaaaaaaaah an idol ?, did you hear that everyone ? our BoA’s first love was also an idol we all know and love!” he says excitedly into the mic. I laugh at his enthusiasm and fake interest in what he says. But do you really ? do you really still love him ? or am I the only one left in this place that does.

…….

“BoA ssi ! thank you for coming into the studio today , especially with your busy schedule. We wish you well with your new single and hope you continue to do great things. And right now we will play boa’s new single , Disturbance as she leaves us for the day … BoA FIGHTING ”

“oh deh kamsahamnida” and with that the interview is over. I move away from the desk , bid my farewells and exit. The second  I get into the car I turn on the radio and listen. Usually im not one to listen to myself or my songs but lately it seems the only way I can be close with him. Tightening my grip on the steering wheel I lower my head to the steering wheel and close my eyes.

FLASHBACK

“YAAAAAAAH!” !” jaejoong runs up behind BoA and and screams loudly scaring her

“AAAAAAH !!! oppaaaaaa ! I told you not to do that ! you know I get scared easily!” she complains making a cute little pout re adjusting her scarf.

“BoA whatsup shorty?” he laughs as he says this and tousles her hair

“aaisssssh! what do you want ?” she says smoothing her hair back down , half annoyed and half flustered from his touch.

“you like oppa don’t you” there was no mistaking the mocking in jaejoong’s voice as he said this and the glimmer of mischief in his eyes.

“WHAAT? HUH ? ani !!!!! ani ani ani” BoA tried to deny it , trying to cover up her feelings , was it REALLY that obvious that she liked him ?

Jaejoong just pouted and looked sad.

“well , oppa doesn’t like you either” he said in a whiny voice.

“oh…” BoA’s voice trailed off and she tried to hide the hurt “I better get going , I have the dance room for only a few hours until you guys do so…” jaejoong laughed at her and saw the hurt on her face as he did.

“hey i don't like you. Not your hair , your eyes , your cute dimple… not even your singing or dancing , so don’t try getting oppa to like them” hearing this made BoA ‘s tears fall down her cheeks feeling warm against the cold weather and words being thrown at her

“NEPPOUN NOM ! you jerk jaejoong ! you complete JERK ! you horrible , singing , good for nothing JERK!” she yelled as she punched his chest and tried to wriggle out of his grip. But his hold on her tightened.

“BoA ! ... YAAAH  SHORTY ! I don’t like you .. that’s true. I love you. Your hair , your smile , your cheeks , the way you perform everything !” BoA stopped and stared at him. Was he joking ? no , no jaejoong doesn’t joke about things like this.

“jinjayeo ? “ she replied

“really “ he whispered to her softly , his face was so close to hers , he could feel his breath on his lips . she closed her eyes ready for his kiss. But what followed was a hard thump on the head.

“AAAAAIISSSHH!!!! what was that for ? !!“ she complained as she rubbed the top of her head quincing

“you called me a singing good for nothing jerk, im actually pretty amazing thank you very much” he laughs and tousles her hair. “and yah , don’t close your eyes like that , you look like an idiot*more laughing* I loved you before , as your best friend , now i've finally told you how i feel. I don’t think we should make a big deal out of it, just know this " he grabbed her shoulders and said with a serious look on his face " you can’t love anyone more than me” then he winked and laughed at her lost expression sending boa’s heart and stomach into flutters.

“deh oppa” she smiled and giggled

“hurry up and go practice now” he laughed , pecked her on the forehead and left just like that leaving BoA shining red and watching after him all the way down the hallway

END OF FLASHBACK

BOA’S POV

“aaaassssh! Jaejoong , why did you have to leave?” I turn up the radio even more and listen to the lyrics that I had written for the man that I loved.

“I stood rooted at the ground, your figure slowly disappears
The road I no longer can trace back
So, please come find me, save me quickly”

Stop being stupid BoA , he doesn’t love you , he hasn’t even tried to contact you. Does that sound like someone who loves you ? HA pabo...