“Hyunnie, does this look okay?” Seohyun rolled her eyes briefly as the same question that Yoona had been asking her for the past half an hour was once again repeated. This time, she had put on a beige, long-sleeved blouse and a white skirt. It was so rare to see Yoona being insecure about what she’d wear; she never took much time to pick out her clothes and she could rock whatever she wore, besides having a really good sense of fashion. Usually, it would be Seohyun who’d ask for her opinion whenever they went shopping. “It doesn’t look good, huh?” Yoona asked with a grimace, running a hand through her hair. Seohyun shook her head frantically, mentally hitting herself for not answering Yoona’s question sooner and consequently making her doubt her outfit. Truth is, Yoona looked stunning.

“No, no! Yoongie, you look good! You’ve looked good in anything you’ve tried on…” Seohyun assured adamantly. Yoona hesitated for a few seconds before sighing and nodding her head. She walked towards Seohyun, who was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I’m sorry I’m putting you in this position… I’m just really nervous… I guess that I’m just looking for a way to delay this whole thing…” She said apologetically, crouching down so that she was at eye level with Seohyun. The maknae smiled softly, reaching out to caress Yoona’s cheek softly.

“You should be studying psychology instead of theater, Yoona-ah.” Seohyun joked, making them both giggle. Yoona’s heart felt eased; Seohyun’s touch and her gentle words always had that effect on her.

“Maybe I should… That way I’d be able to understand your weird personality.” Yoona stuck out her tongue, pinching the younger girl’s cheek. Seohyun pouted playfully before she leaned in and stole a kiss from her girlfriend. Yoona blushed and laughed lightly before she stood up straight, averting her gaze.

“We should go… Let’s get this over with.” The deer clapped her hands together, making Seohyun nod her head encouragingly. Before she stood up and grabbed her purse, she was reminded of something that had been left forgotten inside her drawer for a few weeks now. She reached towards her nightstand and took out a small envelope, pulling a picture out of it.

“T-This is her, right?” She stuttered out with a side-smile, handing Yoona the picture. It was a picture of Mrs. Im, the one that had fallen out of Yoona’s backpack one day. The latter nodded her head as she took the small black and white picture, examining it.

“Yes, she is.” She answered simply, still eyeing the picture intently.

“How did you find that?” The younger girl asked hesitantly. Yoona shrugged her shoulders and made a vague gesture.

“Appa always kept this picture of her… When she first left, he’d look at it every day and take it to work with him. Then, he slowly forgot about it, so I took it. It’s actually a bit funny now that I think about it… I wanted— want to hate her… but I still held on to things like this picture or clothes she left behind. I don’t understand myself, really.” Yoona chuckled bitterly. “Omo, lately we only talk about me… I’m sorry if you feel left aside, Hyunnie… I promise everything will go back to normal after tonight.” Yoona apologized, reaching a hand to run through Seohyun’s silky hair. The latter shook her head and bit her bottom lip.

“I know… and it’s okay, I could talk about you all day…” Seohyun winked, making Yoona blush. “… and so would you, so that’s why we get along.” She finished jokingly, making her girlfriend laugh heartily.

She grabbed Yoona’s hand in hers and stood up, following the older girl out of the room and then out of the house.

The ride to the address Yoona had mapped a few hours prior from her mother’s instructions was all silent. Seohyun observed Yoona’s hands intently as they held onto the steering wheel; even through the tight grip they had on it, she could see them shaking. The maknae felt uneasy as well, since this was the first time she had seen Yoona so anxious. She finally opted to look out the window, trying to let the night’s calmness ease her nerves.

It felt like hours before Yoona parked outside of a penthouse. She eyed it carefully before nodding her head lightly. “This is it, Hyunnie.” She said solemnly, seemingly calm. The addressed girl nodded her head as the two got out of her convertible. Seohyun began walking towards the penthouse’s front door, but stopped when she realized Yoona was unmoving, rooted to the ground beneath her feet. She had paled visibly, and her jaw was visibly clenched. Seohyun hurried towards her and took her hand, drawing circles on the back of it with her thumb.

“Come, Yoongie. We’re already here… I’m here.” Seohyun whispered warmly, leaning so she could kiss Yoona’s cheek. She felt Yoona sighing before she pulled away, and this time as she looked at Yoona, she looked slightly more collected.

“I know… I just have a bad feeling about all this. I want it to be over already.” Yoona whimpered, looking for an answer to her fear in Seohyun’s eyes. However, as supportive as Seohyun was being, the only answer to her fear resided within herself. Seohyun was just there to help her realize it.

“Come.” Seohyun said simply as she tugged on Yoona’s hand. Following her first instinct, Seohyun pushed the door open. It, unsurprisingly, wasn’t locked, so the two made their way inside. Yoona looked around the lobby, sighing and shaking her head.

“What is it?” Seohyun asked her, furrowing her brows. Yoona turned to her; her eyes were watery and a frown was tugging the corners of her lips downwards.

“Any of these apartments should cost at least three times more than the one appa and I lived in all my childhood…” She whispered in a small voice. Seohyun’s chest churned with pain over Yoona’s words; she felt extremely sorry that the doe-eyed girl’s childhood had been so hard. She lunged forward and cupped Yoona’s face in her hands, looking at her straight in the eye.

“Yoongie… I know you’re hurt and I can only imagine how hard this has to be for you… It’s hard for me and she’s not even my mother… but I want you to keep an open-mind about all this. Who knows? Maybe the outcome could be positive… I know you’re strong, and I also know you have a kind heart that allows no hate. So don’t make this harder for yourself, please. It hurts me to see you like this…” Seohyun insisted, piercing Yoona’s eyes with hers. The latter finally nodded her head, giving Seohyun’s lips a small thanking peck before they pulled away from each other, but with their hands still linked together.

“She has the apartment #22. Should we use the stairs?” Yoona asked shakily. Seohyun nodded and the two slowly made her way to the first floor. Yoona’s vision was blurry and her body felt weaker by the second; she thought she was going to pass out. Luckily, she was still holding onto Seohyun’s hand, and it told her things were going to be okay. They walked through the elegant vestibule until they reached the door #22. The two girls stood in front of it for a few minutes, in complete silence, as Yoona prepared herself mentally for what was about to come. She finally turned to Seohyun, with a look of decision on her features.

“I’m ready.” As she said that, she knocked on the door three times. A faint “I’m coming!” was heard from inside the apartment, and Yoona felt her legs wobbling as it reached her ears. It wasn’t long before the door was finally opened, revealing Yoona’s mother.

The woman in front of them was just a little bit smaller than her daughter, had the exact same doe-like eyes, shoulder-length hair and her skin might have been just a little darker than Yoona’s. The latter held her breath and squeezed Seohyun’s hand, not being able to take her eyes off of that woman, who had a slightly tired look on her features. Her eyes watered almost instantly as she caught sight of the older girl.

“Y-Yoona?” She asked through a gasp, taking tentative steps towards her. Instinctively, Yoona took a few steps backwards. The woman seemed to understand Yoona’s reaction as she lowered her gaze, and stepped aside. “Come in.”

Seohyun bowed respectfully as she complied, tugging Yoona’s hands and pulling her along. Yoona’s complete body was trembling and her mind was malfunctioning. She tried breathing in and out slowly to see if she could calm herself down, but just being in the same room as the person who had done her so much damage was making her insides churn.

“Have a seat…” The woman trailed off softly, gesturing to the expensive furniture of her apartment. In fact, everything inside that place seemed to be expensive and luxurious. Seohyun bowed her head and sat, pulling Yoona to sit next to her. The older girl was acting like a rag doll; like she wasn’t responsible for her own movements… and Seohyun understood her perfectly. As Mrs. Im began to take a seat in front of them, Yoona looked up from her lap.

“Just… why?” She asked through a whimper, making her mother look up at her. The middle-aged woman’s eyes were still watery, and they suddenly became much somber as Yoona asked her that question. “What was so wrong with me? Why couldn’t you love me?” Mrs. Im sighed and averted her gaze. Her bottom lip was visibly quivering. Seohyun squeezed Yoona’s hand and took it to her lap, showing her support silently.

“Have you heard about PPD? Postpartum Depression?” The woman asked after a few seconds of silence. Both Yoona and Seohyun furrowed their brows at the question; the latter was slightly more familiarized with the term, but she still didn’t quite know what it really was. Yoona only shook her head, urging the woman to continue. “It’s mental condition that usually strikes women after childbirth. Symptoms include sadness, fatigue, crying episodes, anxiety, and irritability…”

“I-I don’t understand… Is that what happened to you? After giving birth to me? Why?” Yoona interrupted her, furrowing her brows. Her mother shook her head, sighing deeply.

“Listen to me, please, Yoona-ah. I know you have a lot of questions… and many of them, I won’t be able to answer. So please just hear what I have to say.” Yoona looked at Seohyun from the corner of her eye, and her girlfriend gave her a small nod. Yoona nodded as well, gesturing at Mrs. Im to continue. “My childhood doctor always told me to avoid having children of my own whenever I got married because of my genetics, that I should just opt for adoption. I couldn’t go through with it… I wanted to know what it was like to bear a child, even more so after I married your father. I loved him so much… the idea of having children with him was the only thing that would fulfill me as a woman and wife… And he wanted kids too.” Yoona couldn’t help but snort as she mentioned her father. That ‘love’ she was talking about seemed to have run out for good if she left and never came back… “So when your sister was born–”

“Sister? I don’t have any sister!” Yoona exclaimed. Her heard began to beat erratically as her gut feeling told her she was about to hear something she wasn’t going to like. Mrs. Im looked at her in a mixture of slight rage and surprise.

“Y-You mean your father never told you about her?” Yoona shook her head frantically, clutching at the fabric of her own skirt with her free hand. Her other hand had a tight grip on Seohyun’s, who was just as surprised (if not more so) as her. Yoona’s breath began to come out in short pants. Mrs. Im began to weep softly as she shut her eyes tightly. “I always told him to never keep that from you… But I guess it just hurt him too much…”

“P-Please tell me what this is about. What sister?” Yoona asked as her eyes began to well up with tears. Her heart felt like it was about to burst and her head was hurting to the point she thought it was gonna explode.

“Two years before you were born, your father and I had our first child. It was a little girl, we named her Seoyeon. She was so beautiful and small… And she brought us so much joy…” Mrs. Im’s tone of voice began to lower and sobs soon took over her body. Seohyun looked at Yoona, who already had tears running down her cheeks. Trying to find another way to comfort her, one of her hands let go of Yoona’s and began to run up and down her arm in a comforting motion.

“What h-happened to her?” The doe-eyed girl asked. Mrs. Im did an attempt to wipe her tears as she collected herself enough to be able to talk.

“Four months later, we discovered there was something wrong with her. She’d have crying fits and she’d get so pale… She didn’t want to eat… So we took her to the doctor.” The middle-aged woman shut her eyes tightly. “She was having a kidney failure. The only solution would be an expensive and dangerous surgery… Your sister didn’t survive.” Sobs began rocking her body, and the same things happened to Yoona. She was totally speechless… She didn’t even know what to think about this whole situation.

“Why did appa never tell me about her? Now he has been also lying to me… I thought he was the only one who had ever been honest… I guess I was wrong…” Yoona said in-between sobs. She placed one of her hands over her chest, as if doing that would mitigate the pain just a little.

“Do not blame him, Yoona-ah. He’s hurting…” Mrs. Im begged. “After little Seoyeon died, I was diagnosed with PPD. I didn’t give it much importance because, of course I felt depressed, I had just lost my daughter. I never took the medication that my doctor prescribed me. Ultimately, both your father and I thought the best solution would be having another child, so I got pregnant with you. I couldn’t even respond to my own pregnancy… I still cried and had anxiety episodes every day. Your father didn’t know what to do… so we just waited until you were born. You were so beautiful, Yoona-ah… I’m so sorry I couldn’t love you properly…”

“S-So you disappeared because you had PPD? Couldn’t you just drink your medication, or go to another doctor?” Yoona argued, shaking her head. She was trying hard to not become disrespectful or rude, but it was getting harder by the second. Something she couldn’t deny, though, was that she was beginning to pity the woman in front of her, and that was one of the things she feared the most about this meeting.

“It was too late. The medication would only work for a few months and then I’d go back to being depressed. I even had psychotic episodes… Your father and I were both worried that I could hurt you… but during the times when my medication did work… those were the best moments of my life… I had never been so happy again after all these years…” A nostalgic look and a faint smile crossed the woman’s features as she reached her thoughts back to those times. It was hard to even believe she was lying; she sounded so honest and her emotions were so genuine. There was not a doubt on both Yoona’s and Seohyun’s minds that she was telling the truth.

“Then what happened?” Yoona asked lowly, almost as if she was afraid to know the answer.

“When you were five years old, my family found out about my PPD. Things were still very erratic about my mood and behavior, so our family doctor advised them to take me to a mental hospital. According to him, I’d get a better treatment there and your father wasn’t taking good care of me. They gave me an ultimatum; if I didn’t willingly go to the psychiatric ward with them, they’d ask our doctor to declare me mentally unstable without being even checked out by a psychiatrist. I-I couldn’t let that happen… They would take you away from your father and I…” Mrs. Im began sobbing again, in front of Yoona’s and Seohyun’s aghast eyes. “I talked about this to your father, and we both decided it was the best thing for me to agree with my family and be hospitalized… That way, maybe one day… I would be able to come back to you… But that day never came, Yoona-ah. I spent almost fourteen years in that horrendous hospital, wondering about you and your father… Wondering what you looked like now, how your personality was… The proof is that the moment they finally discharged me, I went to Damyang and found your father, but he was already ill. Taecyeon-ssi told me you were here in Seoul for college… I couldn’t miss the chance to finally know my own daughter…” Mrs. Im looked at Yoona adoringly, longingly. “You look just like I imagined you, if not prettier… I’m not trying to be a victim here… I know now that I shouldn’t have let them take me away... They just used my sickness as an excuse to take me away from you and my husband… So, Yoona-ah… I’m very sorry… I hope and pray that one day… you’ll be able to forgive me.” Yoona quickly wiped her tears and averted her gaze. Seohyun, who hadn’t realized she was also crying, began running her fingers through Yoona’s hair in a slow, comforting way. She was slightly startled when Yoona’s hold on her hand slowly loosened until it became nonexistent. The doe-eyed girl stood up, giving Seohyun a small, reassuring smile.

“I’m okay, Hyunnie. Don’t worry.” She said lowly before turning to her mother. She slowly walked across the living room to where Mrs. Im sat, weeping. Yoona contemplated on the idea of giving her a hug, but she couldn’t get herself to do that. Instead, she placed one of her hands on her mother’s back, rubbing it in circles as a form of comfort. She looked up at Yoona, in a mixture of tenderness, thankfulness and surprise. Yoona gave her a small smile through her tears.

“I hope so too… Appa and I suffered a lot. There were times that I would go on for days without even seeing his face because he worked all day and night. He had to ask a lot of people for money… One day, a man beat him up in front of me because appa couldn’t pay back what he owed. Now I can understand your motives better, but… it was really hard.” Yoona’s voice broke towards the end. Mrs. Im began crying harder. Seohyun gave Yoona a reassuring smile, mouthing an I’m so proud of you before blowing her a kiss. “Things are much better now… I found someone who loves me, cares for me and turns me into a better person every day…” Yoona said, not taking her eyes off of Seohyun, before she looked back at her mother again. “… and I believe it’s not too late. Appa is a little bit sick, and I think that seeing the love of his life again might bring him a lot of joy and encouragement.” Yoona finished, giving her mother a full smile. Mrs. Im held onto her hand and nodded her head, smiling as well.

“Thank you so much, Yoona… I can’t apologize enough for everything you had to go through. Thanks for giving me this chance.” Yoona nodded.

“Thank you for explaining all this to me… and for telling me about my sister…” Yoona’s eyes welled up with tears again as she remembered that part of the story. “It’s time for me to go… You have my number and I have yours, and I’d like to keep in touch.” Yoona chuckled, making Mrs. Im smile even wider. Seohyun stood up as well and went to join Yoona, hugging her waist. “And this is Seohyun… She’s my girlfriend.” Yoona introduced them as Seohyun bowed her head. Mrs. Im seemed to not have a problem with it as she just smiled at Seohyun and bowed her head as well.

“It’s nice to meet you, pretty lady.” She said sweetly before turning to Yoona. “Goodbye, my daughter.”

“Goodbye… umma.”

…

“How do you feel, Yoongie?” Seohyun asked as the two of them entered her house. Yoona had been quiet all trip long, but this time she hadn’t been so anxious. Instead, she was tranquil… just melancholic. Yoona took off her coat and hung it before doing the same with Seohyun’s, almost ignoring her question. “Yoongie?”

“I feel better, but now I’m just… confused. And hurt.” The doe-eyed girl admitted as she stood in front of her girlfriend. “I-I had a sister who died when she was just six months old… While I was growing up my mother was secluded in a mental hospital… And appa never told me any of this?” Yoona’s voice broke as she finished. Soon, tears began pooling her eyes again.

“Try to understand him… You were so little when she left… How were you going to react?” Seohyun reasoned, placing her hands on Yoona’s shoulders briefly, before she placed her arms around the older girl’s waist.

“I know, but I grew up and he still never told me anything… I would have understood.” Yoona sobbed drily before wrapping her arms around Seohyun’s shoulders and pulling her into a hug. The maknae ran her hands all over Yoona’s back comfortingly. It broke her heart when she felt Yoona crying against her shoulder, but she managed to stay strong for her.

“I know… but you’ll forgive them both, even if it takes some time… You’re such a good daughter and an amazing person, Yoona-ah. What happened with your family is not your fault.” Yoona lifted her head from Seohyun’s shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. She also removed her arms from around Seohyun’s shoulders and cupped her face instead.

“Thank you for your support, baby. I-I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Yoona leaned in and kissed Seohyun’s forehead before moving to her lips, giving her a sweet, lingering kiss that made them both blush. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Yoona. Always.”

A/N: So here’s an update for you guys on this lovely Sunday ^^ I hope you enjoy the sweet Yoonhyun moments between drama ;) Thanks for reading, and you already know comments, subscriptions and votes mean a lot to this author :3