“Are you mad?”

“I’m not mad,’ I answered.

“You are mad. I can tell,” Jongup pressed. He dashed after me, trying to catch up as I stormed out of the practice room. I was headed back to my apartment to fetch my wallet, and I guess Jongup was coming with me.

Even though I had won the dance competition because Daehyun purposefully forfeited, I still had to buy all of B.A.P dinner. That wasn’t the part that bothered me, though. It’s the fact that Daehyun really treats the things I care about as if they’re nothing. After he and I had admitted our secrets to each other in the gym that night, I thought that things would have been better, but they weren’t. Daehyun went right back to being his typical, jerk self.

 It’s like I’m always the one to take things seriously, while he just goofs around. That’s how everything is with him. A joke. I sometimes wonder if he takes me as a joke as well.

Jongup walked step by step beside me as we took our time going down the busy as usual streets of Seoul. Even though I keep my eyes glued forward, I could sense his eyes on me. Finally, I gave in and turned to him. “What?”

Jongup’s eyebrows were drawn and his face was laced with worry. “Are you mad because you won the competition? I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have ended up like this.”

I didn’t feel like explaining to Jongup the real reason why I was so irritated. The things that weighed down my thoughts were too difficult to say aloud. And even if I did, it would only make things worse than they already appear. My worries and burdens would only become more real if I admitted them to anybody, so I chose to just keep them bottled inside of me.

I wanted to do anything that I could to steer the conversation in a different direction, when I suddenly remembered. “Jongup, what did you have to tell me?”

“Huh?”

“You wanted me to come to your dance practice to tell me something. What was it?”

“Ah, right,” Jongup snapped his fingers. “Well, I mean… you can say ‘no’ if you want to.”

 “Say ‘no’ to what?” I asked. Here Jongup was going all shy again.

He took a deep breath. “I’m having a pool party next weekend and I was wondering if you would maybe possibly want to come?”

“A pool party?” I repeated. “It sounds like a lot of fun. I’d love to come.”

We had just about reached my apartment complex. The red sun, low in the sky, turned the sky into a blurry mixture of deep reds, yellows, and oranges. The remaining light cast elongated, formless shadows over Seoul.

“Yay! I’m glad,” Jongup said resting his hands casually behind his head. “Now I can introduce you to my sister, little brother, ohh and some other k-pop groups! Did you know that-“

That’s when I began to tune out the overly excited Jongup. He happily chatted away as I kept enthralled in my own thoughts.

“So that’s why a pool’s called a ‘pool’,” Jongup finished as we both halted to a stop in front of my apartment building.

“That’s really cool,” I said a little less enthusiastically then I had wanted.

Jongup beamed over at me, but his expression quickly morphed into one of astonishment and confusion. I followed his baffled gaze which led right up to… my apartment complex. “You live here?”

I scratched my head and stared down at my feet. “Yeah.”

 I don’t know if that fact that I lived in a dump escaped my mind or if I was just too angry earlier to care, but having Jongup see my apartment like this, I was honestly very embarrassed.

Jongup was obviously taken aback by the down and out place that I was living in, even if he was trying not to show it. His mouth hung open as his eyes grazed over the graffiti covered, mold covered walls of the complex. He must have seen my downcast expression, for he swiftly spoke up. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that, I just expected you to live somewhere…”

“Nicer?”

“N-no no, not at all!”

“It’s okay, I know it’s a dump,” I smiled bitterly. I pushed open the front door of the complex, Jongup following so close behind me he was practically stepping on my heels. Donghae wasn’t at his usual position at the front desk, which I found odd. He was always there, even on the weekends.

“You can just wait here while I get my wallet,” I said idly to Jongup, still bent over the fact that Donghae wasn’t here.

Jongup agreed, and a couple minutes later, I returned with my wallet in hand. Jongup and I headed out, now fully prepared to buy dinner for B.A.P. I was told that we were to meet up at a hole in the wall restraint called, ‘Gamjang Pab’.

Spring’s night air had turned crisp, almost chilly and I wished that I had brought a sweatshirt or jacket along with me as we hurried down the sidewalks. Jongup scurried along next to me, but he didn’t keep us busy by talking away like he usually did. He, being unusually quiet, kept focused on finding the restaurant.

It was almost nightfall by the time we had reached our destination. The brilliant, neon lights and signs of Seoul’s many shops and clubs had burst to life. To put it simply, it wasn’t difficult finding ‘Gamjang Pab’, especially since it had one of the biggest and brightest signs around.

We entered the building and were immediately greeted by an array of delicious smells that came spilling through the air. The restaurant had a simple, quaint type of atmosphere that I found comfortable. My mouth began to water as one of the waiters hurried past me carrying a tray full of dishes of different kinds of Bulgogi.

“You guys made it!” Yongguk hollered from across the restaurant. He and B.A.P were seated in front of a large, chrome grill.

Daehyun, who was seated across from an empty spot on the bench, raised his eyebrows and smirked coyly. I pretended that I hadn’t seen him.

He frowned and gingerly turned back around.

Jongup chose the spot beside Zelo, who he began animatedly talking away with the second he sat down.

Yongguk stifled in a laugh as I took the only seat left; the one directly across from Daehyun. Out of the corner of my eye, I could just barely make-out the looks that Youngjae and Yongguk were sharing. They knew. They knew that I couldn’t stand Daehyun so they left this spot open on purpose.

***

We were seated around the grill, piles of delicious looking beef sizzling and popping as they were being cooked to perfection. I laughed along with B.A.P as they energetically chatted away to each other, glasses of iced water swinging back and forth in their hands as they boomed with laughter.

Himchan was his typical dreary self, but surprisingly Daehyun was the complete opposite of how he usually acts. With a bright, contagious smile he joined in the member’s discussions and cheesy jokes. He added to the heated discussion regarding which girl groups are the hottest. He even gave his opinion when Yongguk asked him what he thought about their latest song and concept. The best thing was that his smile wasn’t forced or the least bit fake, it was amazingly real.

“What do you think _____?”

I was yanked out of my thoughts to see all of B.A.P staring at me, waiting for my reply. I hadn’t even realized that I had drifted back into my thoughts again, but I guess I had a habit of zoning out and not paying attention.

“Daehyun asked what your favorite k-pop group is,” Youngjae stated smugly.

“O-oh, well,” I thought for a moment before I broke out into a wide grin. “Of course B.A.P!”

Youngjae immediately cracked up, the water from his glass flying everywhere. He threw a hand on my shoulder. “See, now this is a girl with some sense! Why can’t all girls be like this?”

I eased up and the corners of my mouth couldn’t help but rocket upwards as Zelo, Yongguk, Jongup, and eventually even Daehyun joined and effortlessly laughed along with Youngjae.