Pfup!  Are you kidding me Kim Minjun  You obviously do NOT remember my name, or you would know that I just lied to you.  

I followed behind Minjun and I could hear the cackle¹ of hyenas before I could see them.  I was nervous about meeting Minjun’s friends, bandmates, whatever they called themselves.  I knew there were five of them, but that was about it.

I tried to stay behind Minjun  He and his friends were all giants.  I am only 5’4” (162 cm.) and I felt quite dwarfed.

“이분은 우리 아내 미너이 에요².” Minjun said while pointing to me with both hands palms up.  I remembered this from my father’s lectures on Korean etiquette³.  I understood my name, and that was it.  Whatever the rest of what Minjun said somehow set the guys off.  There was all sorts of talking going on at once, but I couldn’t understand anything.

Junsu turned back to me and introduced his friends.  “This is Nichkhun (닉쿤)⁴,” OMFG scary eyebrows from hell⁵, “Wooyoung (우영)⁶,” 5 year-old, “Junho (준호),” no eyes, “Chansung (찬성)⁷,” bananas, “and this is Taec(택)⁸.”  Big ears... oh wait, big teeth too.

The fast talking started again and I only understood very little of it.   “미안 해요.  한국말 잘 못해요⁹.”

They took that in stride pretty easily, but instead of fast and loud Korean, it was fast, loud and very random English, “Is it my turn already¹⁰?”

“얘들아, 얘들아,” Minjun interrupted them all.  Minjun had us all sit down on the floor around the table while Bananas and No Eyes put all sorts of dishes on the table.  Pretty soon the table was completely covered and I had found out that Big Ears Taec and Scary Eyebrows Nichkhun spoke English, although Nickhun’s was a tiny bit accented.

When everyone was seated at the table they all said, “잘 먹겠습니다¹¹.”  And finally there was some quiet, but that because they were sooo busy stuffing their faces!  I figured that I better hurry up and eat too or all I would get would be rice.

The table was packed with unusual foods.  We rarely ate Korean food at home.  The rare times we had Korean food was when we went to a Korean restaurant, when it was given to us or when we bought it at a store.

There was a bowl of rice in front of everyone, and a bowl of some sort of brown colored soup, a spoon and chopsticks.  I had luckily learned to use chopsticks, so I didn’t have to embarrass myself asking for a fork.  There were also tons of little plates filled with all sorts of different vegetables.

Eventually as the food began to run out they started talking again.  They reintroduced themselves, personally this time.  Scary Eyebrows Nichkhun was first.  Nichkhun didn’t sound like a Korean name, but he spoke English, which was a big plus for me.

Next was Taecyeon, “call me Taec.”  His voice was very low, but horse teeth, monkey ears, and very tall.  He at least would be easy to remember.  He kept staring at Minjun though.  Well, really it was more like glaring at him.  I had no idea what was going on there, but you could feel the tension in the air.  Eventually Minjun must have gotten tired of it, because Minjun said something loudly in Korean to him and he turned his face away from Minjun and started to eat again.

The next two, Chubby Cheek Wooyoung and No Eyes Junho, they looked alike.  I might have trouble remembering who was which one.  Five year-old Chubby Cheeks kept trying to ask me questions, but since they were in Korean, with a splattering of English here and there, I really didn’t understand any of them.  I think that made him a bit frustrated.  He started puffing out his chubby cheeks.  That was cute.

The other five year-old No Eyes must have been really shy.  I could see him try to sneak glances of me out of the corner of his eyes.  Could he even see me with his tiny eyes?  He looked like he wanted to try asking me something too, because he opened his mouth several times, but didn’t put any food in it.

The last one was Chansung, who was apparently the youngest, but he didn’t look like it.  He was silent and just kept shovelling food into his mouth, non-stop.

The one that didn’t look Korean, Scary Eyebrows, must have taken pity on all of us.  He started talking to me in English, telling me about his life.  He was born in California, but his accent was definitely not a Cali accent.  He told me abit about his family and then started asking me questions about my life, while he translated for the other guys.

My Father was a ROK(Republic of Korea) officer, who met and married my Mother, a German girl from Missouri who was an English teacher in Kyungsang.  My parents spent some time in New York, where I was born, before moving and settling in Las Vegas.  My Father did translation services for the Korean community in ‘Vegas while my Mother was an English professor at UNLV.  The thing the boys seems most curious about was how my parents knew Minjun’s parents.  Even Taec chimed in wanting to know, after spending the whole lunch mostly silent, even when he was glaring at Minjun.  I told them that our Fathers had served together in the Army, and that solved everything.  There was an immediate “ah,” of understanding about military bonding.  I remembered my mom telling me that all Korean men had to serve in the military.  That made me wonder if Minjun had served yet.

The boys seemed to egg Minjun on about something in Korean, I didn’t understand it at all, but Minjun looked annoyed.

When lunch was finished we piled all the dishes into the sink and Junho or Wooyoung, I don’t know which, started washing them.  Then we waited awkwardly in the living room for the in-laws to arrive.

They all, including my “husband” made me nervous.  They were tall, crowding, noisy and wouldn’t stay still.  I knew my life would be different here, but I didn’t realize how different.

I was saved from all the loud jabbering by the doorbell.  The in-laws had finally arrived.

1.  A group of hyenas is a cackle. http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_a_group_of_hyenas_called

2.  Ibuneun uli anae Mina-i eyo.  This is my wife Mina. An alternate translation would be “this person our wife, Mina, is.”

3.  http://koreandreamer.blogspot.com/2011/04/korean-etiquette-table-manners.html

4. Nichkhun’s name is meanlingless in Korean, but Google Translate used to say that it means “breath.”  But I don’t think it says that any more.

5. His eyebrows really do freak me out.

6. Wooyoung doesn’t have a “W” to pronouce in his name, it is closer to “Uyeong.”

7. Agree, approval.

8. From the intro to “Don’t Stop Can’t Stop.”  But without “Junsu right here.”

9. 미안 해요 Mian haeyo.  I’m sorry.  한국말 잘 못해요Hangukmal jal motaeyo.  I cannot speak Korean very well.

10. One of Wooyoung’s lines from Dream High, episode 1.

11. 잘 먹겠습니다  jal meok get sseub ni da,  I will eat well

Sorry guys!  I didn't forget about you, I have just been crazy busy.  I moved three times in six months.  I was also in a car accident, luckily it wasn't too serious.  I am in England now, and I'll be here for another 35 months, going to school and working.  I have another chapter complete and one more that needs some work, but I don't think I'll be able to keep up with regular posts.  I hope you all understand.  Comments are much appreciated!