At night, I was watching Running Man online when a message arrived.

From: Unknown

Hey best friend. What’re you doing?

From: Me

Hi Mr. Lee, I’m watching Running Man, the episode with you on it.

On first instinct, I recognized the sender as Gikwang. Besides him, I could think of no one else.

From: Gikwang

I’m a pretty boy, right? Keke. Why aren’t you watching the episode with DooJoon instead? He’ll be jealous you know~ :P

From: Me

Yes, my best friend’s a petty boy. Hahaha. Stop it already. He won’t be, I watched that episode with him a few months back.

From: Gikwang

Ya, don’t think I didn’t see that. You missed out the ‘r’.

From: Me

Hehe, oops. Didn’t think you’d notice it. Aren’t you at your practice now? It’s 1am and from what I know, your usual dance session is from 7pm to 3am.

From: Gikwang

They gave us an off-day today! But everyone’s at home except DooJoon. I wonder where he is, he left his phone at home, so no one is able to contact him.

From: Me

He doesn’t stay out late, so I guess he’ll be home soon. Don’t worry.

Although I asked Gikwang to not be worried, I’m the one who’s worrying.

From: Gikwang

Aren’t you worried? That something might have happened to him? Ya, don’t try to lie to me, you know I can tell.

Knowing that I can’t hide anything from this retard, I decided to just tell him the truth.

From: Me

Fine. I’m worried. I wonder if he’s out drinking. You know he can’t handle his liquor well, and when he gets drunk, he makes a scene. If he does that, it isn’t gonna do any good to his and your group’s reputation. So, will you do me another favor? Go out and look for him, please?

From: Gikwang

What if I said no?

From: Me

Ya, he’s your group mate and best friend too, how can you say no? And you know I won’t be able to sleep without knowing he’s fine.

From: Gikwang

True, it’s getting late and you should go to bed now, so go and sleep. He’s back home already; he didn’t go drinking, but went to sing his lungs out. You should know what that means.

It means that he’s not happy. DooJoon always goes to sing when he’s not happy.

From: Me

Glad to know he’s home. Goodnight.

My mood still gets affected by him. How can I be happy when he’s not? I thought he’ll be happier after breaking up with him and giving him freedom, but am I wrong? I know I’m selfish, but I did it all for him. I lied on bed thinking all night about what would have happened instead if I controlled myself a little more, if I stood by him instead of breaking up with him, if I haven’t done what I did.