After the incident Yongguk went through the day before, he woke up in the morning with only thoughts and images of middle school and how even then he felt as if he had been torn in two. He wanted to pretend it didn't happen, but that didn't work because he knew he had done Himchan wrong by claiming he was 'easy'. Yongguk shut his eyes, but the images of that time only continued to dominate his thoughts.

(Flashback)

"Ah! Jongup!" Yongguk smiled as he pulled his gate open, the tall figure stood in front of it smiling and waving at Yongguk.

Jongup was Yongguk's best friend since childhood and now in their last year of middle school, they had promised to continue their friendship and go to the same high school, promising to never leave each other behind, or so Yongguk thought.

Yongguk admired Jongup and loved everything about him, Yongguk thought of his best friend as his first love, the person he couldn't live without. The person he wanted to protect. Constantly having Jongup around made Yongguk feel safe. Yongguk thought there was something wrong with him when he began to feel excited just from Jongup's touch, his gaze, his everything. Everything for Yongguk had become harder, the more he saw Jongup, the more he fell for him. The feelings he harboured made him push Jongup away and into the arms of others. Jongup's new group of friends were different, they were strong, always looking for fights, bullies Yongguk thought when he first saw Jongup fall onto his doorstep bruised and battered and that wasn't the last time he saw Jongup that way, after that night there were many others when he showed up bleeding and bruised.

"What happened?!" Yongguk panicked, pulling his best friend into his arms.

"A game..." Jongup laughed, holding onto Yongguk. Yongguk was horrified, this group was bad news, they would lead Jongup into trouble. But Yongguk blamed himself, he had let go of Jongup, allowing him to depend on someone else.

"I promise I won't avoid you again..." Yongguk whispered as both of them sat in the doorway allowing the summer night to cool them down.

"I was wondering when you were going to admit it..." Jongup laughed. Yongguk cherished that moment between them, it was as if Jongup was going to accept him as he was and for who he was. Yongguk cherished that moment because after it, everything about his best friend had changed , Jongup didn't come over to play anymore, he didn't have time for Yongguk anymore. Always out with girls, always out with his friends, I thought we promised to stay together Yongguk thought as anger swelled up inside him, as he saw Jongup hanging out with Zelo and Young Jae, not acknowledging his presence at all. Yongguk became angry with Jongup, he felt like he wanted to hate him but he couldn't.

"What's the matter with you" Jongup growled, grabbing Yongguk's arm, making Yongguk wince in pain.

"Are you seriously telling me you don't know!!" Yongguk muttered trying to pull his arm from Jongup's grip.

"Don't act like a !" Jongup said lowering his voice as his grip tightened on Yongguk's arm.

"Why would you say that?! You barely talk to me anymore!! You're never here anymore!! Then you think you can just show up and call me a ?!" Yongguk shouted, pushing Jongup's chest.

"So I can't have other friends?! You're so possessive! It's like you're in love with me!" Jongup shouted, letting go of Yongguk's arm and pushing him back.

Yongguk didn't answer, he couldn't. If he did he was sure that he would confess and Jongup would run away. But by not answering, Yongguk had already confirmed Jongup's suspicion, making Jongup nervously laugh.

"You aren't though, right?" Jongup said, his eyes widening, as he placed his hand tightly on Yongguk's shoulder.

After a moments hesitation Yongguk finally answered.

"Of course not!" Yongguk said laughing and pushing Jongup's hand away.

"Ah thank God! That would've been weird right! After all we've been friends for so long" Jongup laughed as he turned away "I've got to go anyway, we'll talk about this again tomorrow" Jongup said, as he raised his hand to wave, but Yongguk didn't know that today was his last day beside Jongup, the boy he admired, the boy he cherished, the boy he loved.

The next day as Yongguk was walking to the male toilets, he felt his phone vibrate. It was a text from Jongup:

"Can you come and meet me on the roof?
I couldn't believe you rejected me yesterday
Even though I feel the same way about you
If you feel the same way come and meet me now"

Yongguk felt as if time had stopped as he read Jongup's message, he could hear his own heartbeat, and butterflies filled his stomach. Yongguk ran, he couldn't control himself, his body reacted on it's own. He thought that Jongup had accepted him, but he didn't ever believe that they would have mutual feelings.

As Yongguk arrived at the rooftop door, his palms began to sweat as he grabbed the door knob. He pushed the door open and stepped onto the stones, he looked around but he couldn't see Jongup yet. Suddenly Yongguk felt two hands push him to the ground, the stones pierced his stomach making him cry out in pain. He felt a foot on his back as it pushed him down harder onto the stones. Then a crowd of feet rained down upon Yongguk's back and into his stomach as he was his side. He couldn't breathe, he felt as if the life was leaving his body as he looked up and recognized the face of his best friend.

"You like me? Me? A boy?... Disgusting" Jongup laughed as he delivered another kick to Yongguk's stomach making him cough and wheeze for air. Jongup only continued to laugh as he crouched down to look his prey in the eyes. 

"It's ing disgusting" Jong up scoffed, pushing Yongguk's face with his hand.

Yongguk shut his eyes, he couldn't believe it. Jongup had set him up, he thought they were going to be friends forever. It was naive. He wanted to be able to run, but the others continued to kick him until he felt a pair of hands grab his collar and pull him to sit up.

"Ahh~ stop he's going to cry" Zelo said as he laughed pointing at Yongguk's crimson face. As Yongguk tried to speak, Zelo's hand met his cheek leaving a stinging feeling running through his skin.

"Yah! Stop touching him, he's disgusting". He heard Youngjae's voice call from behind Zelo, there's three of them? Yongguk thought as his eyes began to close, he could barely see anything through his tears as Zelo dropped him and they began kicking him again, Jongup was just standing there watching Yongguk's humiliation.

Yongguk couldn't hear them anymore as he felt Zelo's and Youngjae's kicks being delivered to his stomach and face, he could only just see Jongup standing above him before he felt a fist impact on his cheeks twice.

"All this time... All this time, you've been thinking of me in that way?! Watching me in that way?! Were you ever even my friend or did you stay beside me hoping you'd get something out of it?!" there was despair and sadness in Jongup's eyes, Yongguk didn't understand at the time why Jongup was so upset or why Jongup would have tricked him this way.Yongguk turned away from Jongup's sad eyes and his attention was averted to a dark haired boy, standing away from the crowd staring with his emtionless eyes, Yongguk watched as Zelo walked up to him and put his arm around the boy.

"Liking boys? Digusting! Right... Himchan?" Zelo laughed but Himchan pushed Zelo's arm away. 

"Boring" Himchan sighed. Turning his back towards Yongguk and leaving the humiliating scene.

It felt like hours before they finished, before the last time Yongguk would ever talk to Jongup again. Watching Jongup leave with Zelo and Youngjae laughing and joking as if nothing had happened, Yongguk tried to push himself off the ground but he couldn't. Yongguk dragged his sore body across the stones and hoisted himself up and over the railings. Standing on the other side of the railings, Yongguk felt the wind brush his face as he stared at the ground below him, in that moment Yongguk thought it would be better if he ended it all now, he didn't want to face everyone, he didn't know how to explain what happened or why. Yongguk leaned forward.

"Jump" an unfamiliar voice shouted from behind him, Yongguk turned his head to see the dark haired boy called Himchan, his emotionless eyes staring at him.

Yongguk let go of the railing but grabbed onto it again, his feet dangling in the air, in that moment Yongguk realised he didn't want to die as tears began to flow from his eyes and were carried away by the wind. The emotionless boy now hovered over Yongguk and was looking down on him.

"Let go" Himchan said, staring down at Yongguk, but Yongguk shook his head, tears streaming from his eyes. Himchan sighed and grabbed Yongguk's arm pulling him up and helping him over the railing.

"Not all people are like them, the world doesn't end just because you're gay" Himchan said as he rubbed his hands on his trousers, turning away to leave, he left Yongguk laying on the floor staring at the sky. When Yongguk got home that night, his parent's were so worried. His mum almost began to cry when Yongguk lied and said that a play fight got to serious.

"Boys will be boys" Yongguk's father said, sighing deeply as he patted Yongguk on the shoulder.

The next day, it had already spread around school that Yongguk had been beaten up and that he was in love with Jongup. People had begun to avoid him and stare at him as he walked through corridors. He was pushed and beaten up over and over again, people wouldn't change with him in the room, people wouldn't eat with him, no one would even try to talk to him, he was alone. Yongguk never spoke about the incident because everyone already knew. He never spoke to Jongup again, he would see him sometimes but he was greeted only with silence. He wanted to quit and leave school behind but he endured it all, knowing he would never see any of those people again in a few months. 

After graduating middle school Yongguk never saw really Jongup again except for the coincidental sighting and Yongguk began to understand why Jongup was so angry with him at that time, and why he is still angry, it's because Jongup trusted him and he knew that Himchan trusted him but he had said such terrible things, he had betrayed the the person he loved twice. Yongguk sighed, thinking about his past made his head hurt, he didn't want to go school.

"You're going to be late. Don't you feel well?" Yongguk's mother asked as she opened his bedroom door.

"No, my head hurts a lot, I don't think I'll go to school today" Yongguk answered hiding his face with his covers.

"Okay, well I have to go to work today. I'll bring you some medicine and breakfast is downstairs" She sighed as she began to close his door.

"Okay. Thanks" Yongguk muttered throwing his sheet from over his head once the door was closed.