Yongguk got up later that afternoon, now he really had a headache. He could feel the side of his head throbbing as he stood up and walked downstairs. I need some water he thought as he staggered into the kitchen, reliving his past took a lot out of him. It made him feel dizzy. Yongguk leaned against the kitchen counter as he drank, the silence in the house always made him feel lonely and made such terrible memories flock his brain.

Yongguk was about to go back upstairs again, when he noticed a shadow outside his door, it was hesitating. Yongguk hoped it was Himchan, coming to return his bag, he was hoping he could talk to him. Yongguk walked to the door, his palms began to sweat as he placed his hand on the door knob, nerves ran through his stomach as he pushed the door. But outside was a small, heavenly figure. Her pale skin brushed by the afternoon light as her hair flowed lightly in the wind, her tiny body looked so fragile, Yongguk could understand why Himchan would choose her instead of him.

"I wanted to knock but I didn't think you would answer" Ga Yun, said as she stared up at Yongguk, playing with her hair as if she was trying to seduce him.

"It's okay, do you want to come in?" Yongguk didn't want to invite her in but it would be impolite to leave her standing outside in the cold.

"Thank you. I actually really wanted to talk to you" Ga Yun answered, walking into Yongguk's house. 

Her tiny feet slipped out of her shoes as she walked into the dining room and sat at the table. Yongguk walked into the kitchen and began making tea, before sitting beside her, he shifted nervously in his seat, Yongguk couldn't understand why she would come to his house again, alone. 

"The tea will be ready in a minute" Yongguk muttered as stared down at the table.

Ga Yun nodded, not saying anything as she stared around, they both sat in silence until Yongguk brought the tea to the table. He watched her as she drank, so delicate, she was picture perfect and flawless. He couldn't believe the feelings welling up inside him, he was jealous. Me! Jealous of her?! I can't be! He thought as they both sat there in silence.

"You said you wanted to talk?" Yongguk said quietly as he played with his cup.

"Yongguk, please stop confusing Himchan" Ga Yun blurted out, her eyes widened as if she was surprised at her own words, Yongguk looked at her astonished, he couldn't believe what she was saying.

"I know you don't like me very much. It's because you like Himchan right? Zelo told me about what happened at his house" Ga Yun said as she began to sweat, the look of anger and disgust breached her face, as she clasped her hands together and closed her eyes.

"I don't confuse Himchan, he comes to me on his own accord" Yongguk answered in an emotionless tone, waiting for her to answer.

"Please just leave us alone. Whatever you do, you'll never have him" She shouted as she opened her eyes and stared at Yongguk with pleading eyes. Disguting Yongguk thought as he looked at her. 

"I don't know what you mean" Yongguk answered, as he stared at her.

"You can have your fun for now, but Himchan will always be mine!!" Ga Yun shouted again as she stood up and slammed her fists into the table.

Yongguk felt time stop as he heard Ga Yun's words echo through his head. He was sure that she was trying to annoy him. Trying to aggravate him, to keep him away scum he thought as he stood up, pushing his chair onto the floor.

"You might be that way, but Himchan is only using you because he's curious" Ga Yun whispered as tears began to escape her eyes because she herself knew that this wasn't the case. Ga Yun knew that Himchan didn't enjoy being with her, but she loved him and didn't want to let him go. She sat down, she felt exhausted and didn't like getting angry. Yongguk picked up his chair and sat down as well. Again they both sat in silence until Yongguk spoke.

"If Himchan comes to me, I'll accept it him. Even if you marry him, I'll accept him!" Yongguk said as he cleared his throat.

Ga Yun shook her head.

"Things don't work out like that. How can you live so selfishly?" she answered with a frown on her face, she believed that she would be able to get the man she loved and Yongguk would be left with nothing.

"I can live in a way that pleases me" Yongguk said as he gulped and placed his fists on the table.

"Will knowing that you'll always be second please you? His parents won't even approve even if he does go to you" Ga Yun answered with scorn in her voice.

Yongguk had remembered that when he had asked about Himchan's parents, he didn't want to talk about them. It angered him that Ga Yun knew so much when he knew so little. He hated her because she had all the advantages and he had nothing.

"Even if you want him and he comes to you, it can never last" Ga Yun stood up, holding her bag. "I have to go home now, I'll see myself out" Ga Yun walked out of the dining room. As Yongguk listened to the front door open and close, he sat in silence staring at his cup. He wanted Himchan to break up with her, he didn't understand why Himchan couldn't see that he is better than she is. Yongguk sat at the table for minutes thinking what he should do or what he could say when he next saw Himchan. Yongguk stood up, he didn't want to wait to see Himchan, he wanted to see him now.

Yongguk ran upstairs to change, his body was cold as he removed his shirt, a draft brushed it and made him shiver. Yongguk put on a shirt and jeans, his head still pounding as he did but he really wanted to see Himchan. He wanted to ask if Ga Yun was telling the truth, he wanted to know if he still had a chance. Yongguk ran down the stairs and put on his shoes and coat. He grabbed his phone and ran out of the house and to the train station. 

***********

Upon reaching Himchan's house, Yongguk stood outside and knocked but there was no answer. He knocked again and waited but again there was no answer. Yongguk sat on the doorstep and waited. Hours later is when Himchan finally arrived with a bag in his hand, he had gone to the store.

"Oh? you didn't say you were coming" Himchan said, the emotion escaping his voice as if he wasn't happy to see Yongguk, waiting for him.

"Ah, yes I came to get my bag" Yongguk answered standing up and moving behind Himchan so he could open the door.

"Okay, come in"  Himchan answered as he went inside and Yongguk followed.

"Actually I wanted to talk to you" Yongguk mumbled as he took his shoes off "is that okay?" he asked looking up at Himchan.

"Apologise first" Himchan answered, kicking his shoes off. 

"Himchan, I really didn't mean the things I said, I don't think you're easy. I was just angry. I'm sorry" Yongguk said as he followed Himchan into the kitchen. Himchan laughed.

"Don't say those things again" Himchan answered as he put the shopping down on the kitchen counter.

Yongguk watched Himchan's slender body as he moved around the kitchen. In every step there was perfection. Yongguk remembered feeling Himchan's smooth skin touch his, he remembered every feeling he felt as he stared at Himchan. But Himchan felt that Yongguk was staring at him, making him feel weird, as if he liked being watched by Yongguk.

"Don't help. Just stand there and stare all day"  Himchan smiled as he looked round to face Yongguk who was standing right behind him, shocking Himchan making him fall back and hit the counter.

"I was going to help you" Yongguk laughed as he strecthed past Himchan and picked up juice to put in the fridge. Yongguk didn't know that him being so close made Himchan flustered. Himchan watched as Yongguk turned away from him, he let out a relaxed sigh. He was hoping that when he did see Yongguk again it wouldn't be awkward but it felt like everything was normal.

"I spoke to Ga Yun today" Yongguk said not looking at Himchan. Himchan froze, it made him angry that they would meet without telling him.

"Why?" Himchan stopped what he was doing and turned to face Yongguk who was now also looking at him.

"What do you mean 'why'? I can meet who I want" Yongguk was getting angry, he didn't understand why Himchan was getting annoyed with him.

"What did you talk about?" Himchan calmed down, before asking again. He didn't want to argue with Yongguk again.

"Are you going to stay with her?" Yongguk blurted out. He didn't want to beat around the bush.

"Yes" Himchan answered. He too didn't want to beat around the bush. But Yongguk was shocked at how Himchan could say it so blantantly with no emotion. "I have no say in it. At first I was enjoying it but now I can barely feel anything" Yongguk didn't understand what Himchan was talking about, but he was too afraid to ask.

"Why don't you say something?" Yongguk mumbled

"I don't know how to, but I want to" Himchan answered looking down. Yongguk kissed Himchan's head, making him blush. Himchan stood there flustered as Yongguk moved around him and continued to help. Yongguk was blushing too but he just didn't want Himchan too see his face.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. Whatever happens, happens" Yongguk said as he continued to put things in the fridge.

Himchan didn't say anything, he knew that even if he broke up with Ga Yun, his parents would never approve of him dating Yongguk which made him unhappy but also made him question himself. He had never been too fond of committing to a person and he knew the same was going to happen to Yongguk. Even though Yongguk confessed to him, he didn't want to upset him. Himchan wondered if he had always been this way, if he had just been putting on a show to please others instead of pleasing himself.

"Is something wrong?" Yongguk questioned Himchan, as he still stood there staring into space. Yongguk tapped him on the shoulder.

"Ah! Yes I'm fine" Himchan quickly said as he began helping again.

"Yongguk, I like you alot too" Himchan blurted out, hiding his face with his shirt. "I wish I had met you before I met Ga Yun" Yongguk was shocked at Himchan's sudden confession but you have met me before Yongguk thought as he was overcome with a feeling of sadness. He walked up and hugged Himchan, before he pushed him back into the counter and began kissing his neck as his hands rougly grabbed Himchan's waist underneath his shirt, his cold hand touching Himchan's warm skin made Himchan whimper a little, as Yongguk continued to and bite Himchan's neck, moving down to his shoulder then his collarbones, caressing Himchan's back as he began to pull down Himchan's trousers with his free hand.

"Just once. Please." Yongguk whispered in a low voice, his hot breath tickling Himchan's skin. Himchan only nodded, he couldn't speak as he was overcome with a rushing feeling, a feeling of lust and love but he enjoyed hearing Yongguk beg it reminded him that Yongguk was still the timid boy who adored him. Himchan watched as Yongguk began to undo his own jeans. Himchan was excited, he was anticipating it. He felt that this time because he was honest with himself and Yongguk, he was ready to accept him.