„come Honey, go to bed. It's late“

„No mommy , I'll stay up till daddy get's home“

„Please Himchan go to bed , I've told you he is on a meeting , he will not come back. So please do mommy a favor and go to bed“

„But daddy told me he bought me something.. Mommy why are you crying ?“

„Please.. Himchan go to bed..“

„Is Mommy sad ? Why do you cry Mommy ? Ya Mommy !“

„Him-himchan please.. go to bed, he won't come .. Daddy won't come“

„What ? Mommy please stop crying .. pleease . Did I make you sad ? Are you crying because i made you sad ? Pleease Mommy stop ! I'll be good..please don't cry“

„.. Gone Himchan , he won't come back..“

-

Himchan shook his head to forget the bad taste of his old memories. The crowd in the train were loud and he imidently regretted that he forget to charge his ipod, it was a pain for him to listen to the unnecessary themes people were talking about. Also hadn't he nothing to distrected himself from thinking. To much thinking wasn't good for him, but he rather killed himself before he listen to other people's conversations.

“Yeah, you're so right . She looked soo ing ugly with these weird pants. No wonder Jay cheated on her. I mean come on who would date such an ugly girl” He cringed at the inside when he heard the girls infront of him talking. What were they thinking? What gaved them the right to judge about how other people looks ? In Himchans opinion nobody had the right to judge anybody or anything. All people are in someway beautiful , you just needed to look at them probably to see their beauty. He hated these girls so much , he hated those kinds of people and he hated how most of the world was full with these kind of peoples. It was rare to find someone who had the same view of life like Himchan, but sometimes he found people like that. Imidently for a short break his cold mask would break and be happy for a second to know that not all people are the same. That there is hope for humanity, but sadenly he just knew 3 of them. His brother, his bestfriend and him.. Himchan felt his heart aching and the thought of him, he blinked a few times and tried to consentrate on the talking of those girls infront of him. Yes he would rather killed himself before listening to other peoples conversations, but he rather did listen to them then thinking about him.

Himchan stared at the girls infront of him, they were a groupe of three girls. One had short brown hair coverd herself with her bangs, she just nooded at the other girl talking and smiled shyly. He needed just one look at her to knew , that she didn't like the girls around her . She was just there cause she didn't wanted to be alone, probably a loner who had enough of being mocked by everyone , so she kinda sold her soul to the 'kind of popular girls' to gain attention. 'Disgusting' – Himchan thought, people who betrayed themselves were nothing more then trash to him. The second girl who literally comment every seneteces of the third girl had long curly black hair, also was she wearing a thick layer of make up. You obliviously could see that she was trying to copy the third girls looks. Also a thing he was disgusted by- people who change themselves just for the others liking. The one who was talking , the leader, had long curly brown hair and blue eyes. Indee she was a pretty girl , but the fact that she just was full of made her so damn unactractiv. What use has a pretty face if you're ugly from the inside ? Himchan rolled his eyes and looked out the window , it was a rainy day and it seems like even mother nature herself was crying about how bad and ugly the world actually was. He saw nothing then streets full of cars and high building , not one single tree or flower. He spaced one moment away at the thought of flowers, it was a long time since the last time he saw a normal flower which grew in the nature or even smell one . Damn he missed the sweet smell of it. Actually the last time he had one in his hands was when he gaved him one..

“Don't be lazy man , walk faster Himchan”

“I knew you were crazy ! Which idiot decides to go for a walk in the forest on a Sarurday morning”

“The idiot who said yes to my ideas hahaha”

“YA! Are you trying to say that I'm an idiot ?!”

“Maybe.. Maybe not. But here – take it”

“A flower ? What should I do with a flower ?”
“Smell it , then you know why I wanted to go away from the City..”

He was pulled back to realtiy when a smell tingle his nose, but it wasn't the sweet smell of a flower. No , it was the fake smell of perfueme. Himchand looked in the direction of where the smell came from to his suprise , he saw the three girls looking at him and they defently were know nearer to him then before. They stared blushing as Himchan stare back to them and began to whisper to eachother. 'Not this again'- Himchan sighed and rolled his eyes. He didn't liked it all when randome girls started to hit on him. Of course they were exceptions. Sometimes a girl would smile at him who really looked like a nice girl who knows how to behaved. At these times he would smile back, but he did it so , that these girls would knew that he wasn't interesting but appreciate the try. But when girls like these infront of him did it he just wanted to throw up and tell them how disguesting they were for him. But luckly for these girls , Himchans mother teached him respect and how to treat girls. Indee he didn't understand how stupid a girl could be, trying to hit on hi just because of his looks. Yes ,Himchan was really good looking. He had black hair which was spiked up and gave him a great contrast to his pale face and his pink small lips.

But what people gaved them their reason to stare at him , were his sharp scary eyes. It was the thing what made Kim Himchan so facinating. He could stare at you like a pychopath who is about to kill you , but he would look extremly hot by doing it. His eyes gave him this intense deep stare people try to avoid, but couldn't because of their ynis. Anyways , as the leader of the girls was about to approach him, the train reached his station. He imidently got up his seat on walked out of the train's door not even looking at the three girls.

He walked with the mass the stairs up ,only to open his umberella he had in his back with him. The mass of people tried to push him out of the way just to get fast to their trains. 'Man can they at least watch out where they going ?'-Himchan thought as a busnisman slammed his shoulde by walking part. He struggled through the mass , but after one minute he got out of it and walk to the right side ,where less people were. The rain really dropped hard this day , so hard that his hand started to hurt a bit by holding the umberalla. To his luck was the building where he worked just around the corner. He walked faster as soon as he saw the white builing. As he reached the door , he closed his umberella and ring the door. Just a few seconds after that , the door opend. “Should I take this time the stairs ?” he talked to himself. Since he thought that he gained a bit of weight he decided to take the stairs. Well, it was a bad decision since he needed now to climbed up to the 13^th floor. Just as he thought he gonna cough blood , a little seven year old boy run out their door screaming “Himchaan hyung ~” The little boy huged his waist as he pat his head saying “Annyeong Junhongie~” - Yes Himchan worked as a babysitter. He loved the little kid Junhong. He was such a smart kid for his age and so grown up. Damn sometimes he was more then an adult then Himchan himself. “Come lets walk in” the taller said while the little boy grabed his hand. Himchan put his shoes of as he enter and closed the door. “Hello Himchan , I'm sorry but I have no time , the meeting begins sooner then I thought” “It's okay Miss Choi” Himchan smiled while he bowed to her. “Always so respectful Himchan , your mother teached you good” “Thank you Miss Choi” Himchan smiled in embarrassement. “Aigo , you should smile more Himchan it suits you. Well I got to go know . Bye my little Junhongiee, mommy loves you” Miss Choi waved as she got out of the door “bye mommy” Himchan looked at the little boy, when he felt a feeling of his tummy crying for food. “Junhong are you hungry ?” Junhong looked up at the taller with a happy face as he noded in excitement forcing his curly hair to bounce. “Good then Hyung will cook you egges with Kimchi”

The little on laughed as Himchan followed him in the kitchen. To his luck was the kitchen well organized, so he knew where all the things were he needed to cook.He took the Kimchi and the eggs out of the friged and started to cut the Kimchi in little pieces. Cooking was one of his favorites things to do, he enjoyed the thought of cooking for people he cared for to make them happy. He put the Kimchi in the heated pan as he mixed the eggs to it. The whole time little Junhong was sitting next to him and watch him cooking, his eyes never leaved the taller one's face. Junhong was a really sensitive boy for his age, so he knew exactly when someone was sad . And the last time he noticed how sad his Hyung were again. He remebered the day, when Himchan-hyung came once and his usally cold eyes were replaced by happy one's. Junhong was so surprised back then how his Hyung changed , he loved it. Himchan was more opend and laughed all the time. Junhong never knew back then that a laugh could be so beautiful, but then after a while Himchan changed to his oldself. His cold eyes were back again and Junhong could swear they even got colder if that was possible. “Okay, Junhongie food is ready . Let's eat” the taller said as he put the egg-kimchi one two plates. He put of them on the table and sat down at the exact moment as the little one sat down too. “Thank you hyung , I'll bet it's yammy like all the time” Junhong said as he put a piece of kimchi in his mouth and began to eat, on the other side Himchan just noded and started to eat too. The both of them happily filling their tummy with food as the little one decided to break the silence. “Hyung.. why are you sad ?” Himchan looked surprised at the smaller one “I mean there was a time when you were happy, but know .. you eyes became cold and I wonder why ? Did someone hurt you?” Himchan looked in disbelief at the smaller one 'Aish that kid , always knows' “No Junhong , Hyung is okay. I just had a hard time because of school. That's all” The younger one stared at his food before he turned to his Hyung and said “You know.. sometimes it's better if you just tell yourself that you're not okay. It's better then just always lie to yourself.. I think Hyung is missing someone. I've learned from all the dramas that my mommy watchs, when someone changes..then because they got their heartbroken or the got leaved by someone who was importan to them.” Himchan felt how his mouth hang wide open , how could a seven year old look through him like he was made out of glass? For one thing he was sure , that kid was more grown up then the most grown up he knew. Himchan thought about what he should respons to this, lying was no option cause Junhong would knew. Somehow he'll always knew. After a couple of seconds he slowly said ”Junhongie.. sometimes you can't say to yourself, that you're not okay. Because it hurts much more to know that you're the one who messed up , so you lie to yourself everyday. Because the truth hurts you more.”

“But Hyung .. when you did wrong , why don't you just apologized ?” “Because life isn't always that simple.” “Liar. It is, you just fooled yourself in thinking it's not , when in reality it is . Anyways thank you for the food Hyung , but I need to go to the toilette” and with that little Junhong let an in shoked Himchan back. 'Did I .. Did I just got lecture about life by a seven year old ?!' He looked down on his food, his appetite really was gone now. Junhong was right and Himchan knew it, but he couldn't do anything. This time it was to late and he couldn't fix his problem , he was leaved behinde alone...again.

-

“No please .. don't leave me here alone.”

“Don't make it harder for me then it is”

“No please.. I swear I'm gonna do better”

“I'm so sorry .. but I don't wanna get hurt anymore.. Goodbye Himchan..”

“N-No.. don't .. come back... don't leave me too.. Please Yongguk..”

-

Sooo how are you guys ? :D ahaha hope you like the first chapter, this is something i wanted to write  the hole time :) and i need to say Himchans dad is NOT dead .I've read my story again and it sound like he is dead but he is NOT. He just left the familiy for another women :D but you'll get to know more about it in the future ^-^~~

So yeeah here i have som gif for you & yeah please comment at how you find the story , love you guys