“Sooyoung, I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“Hang in there, Tae.”

“I feel like…  It seems mutual.  But I can’t tell for sure!”

“That could be the case…”

“Do you know?”

“If I knew anything and told you, it wouldn’t be fair to Fany.”

“  I just feel like I don’t express myself enough.  Even in terms of our simple friendship.”

“Then maybe you should try to express your love more!”

“I try, Sooyoung.  I really do.”

I wish I could.  But the truth is, every time I’m alone with you, I can’t find the right words to say.  All I can do is smile and laugh at how silly we are.

Taeyeon’s gaze was aimed at the ground for a couple minutes.  Today was her birthday but she didn’t feel like it was at all.  Of course, in the early morning, when all nine girls woke up to go through the dances a few more times, they all had a cake prepared and sang happy birthday.  The whole confusion and heartbreak over a girl was tearing her apart.  They were now resting before the concert in Hiroshima on the 9^th of March.

“Only a few hours until the performance tonight!   I can’t wait!”  Tiffany jumped around in excitement.

She continued, “At the same time though, I’m a little nervous.”  Her face turned from a smile to a serious expression within a matter of seconds.

Sooyoung elbowed Taeyeon hard enough to make her snap into a straight position, sitting up.  She nodded to Taeyeon and motioned that this was a good opportunity.  Taeyeon instantly understood and made her way around the others to Tiffany who was heading towards the kitchen of the hotel room.

“ I’ll never get that dance right.  Ahhh!  What do I do?”  She buried her face into her hands.

Suddenly she felt a pair of warm arms wrap around her waist.

“Fany ah, don’t worry.  You’ll be great tonight, just like all the other concerts we had.”

“I’ve practiced the dance over and over again.  I still can’t do it right.”

“Remember our practice two nights ago.  Walk through all of the steps slowly first before we perform tonight.  That way, you’ll get it right for sure!  Besides, it’s only that one little movement.  I’m sure you can do it.”

“I just don’t know why this one little movement is so difficult for me.”

“Maybe you’re over-complicating it.  You’ve grown so much as a dancer.  But even the best dancers have special moves that they can’t do.  I mean, sure, I can do choreographed dances but freestyle just doesn’t work out for me.  Hahaha, you know that.”

“Are you sure?”

Taeyeon released her arms and looked into Tiffany’s sad eyes.

“Of course, I’m sure.”

Upon eye contact, Tiffany’s face grew hot.  To hide it, she looked down and smiled.  Taeyeon curiously observed Tiffany as she seemed to be deep in thought.  The two stood silently, facing each other in the kitchen for five minutes before Taeyeon decided to make her snap out of her daydream.  Playfully, she poked Tiffany in the side, who instantly let out a funny, high pitched sound.

“Eeehh!  Hey!”

“Why is your face so red, Fany?”  Taeyeon grinned.

“No reason.”  Tiffany walked back into the room where the members were seated in a circle on the floor with lit candles.

It was time for the weekly talk between the 9 girls.  They found that it would help relieve stress before the following concerts.  Tiffany sat down next to Sunny and Sooyoung.  Seeing the small gap that Tiffany left, Taeyeon sat down between her and Sooyoung.

“Tae… What did you do to her?”  Sooyoung whispered into Taeyeon’s ear.

“She was nervous so I tried calming her down with a hug.”

“Wow…  Good job…  You turned Fany into a tomato.”

“Alright, everyone!  Another performance tonight, so let’s make it a good one!”  Hyoyeon interrupted the conversation.

“What are you, the leader?  Hahaha.”  Sunny joked.

“You’ll make a great wife, one day!” Jessica joined in.

“Hyoyeon’s like me!  We both need a strong guy who only likes us and will listen to us!”  Tiffany joked

They all held hands and watched the candle flames flicker as they talked and laughed…

Everyone except me…

Taeyeon watched in silence as the rest of them continued to talk.  With tears waiting to slip out, she closed her eyes, welcoming the sadness.  Quickly, she wiped them away and left the circle.  The others continued to cheerfully joke around while she walked to the bedroom with her head down.  She sat down on the edge of the bed and let her tears fall.

A guy…

Who only listens to you…

I’m just your best friend to you,

Nothing more.

I’ve loved you for years on end.

I only wish you knew.

“Tae?”

A voice broke the silence of Taeyeon’s sorrow.

“Eh… Yes?” She quickly wiped her eyes and looked up.

“Tae, are you alright?  Why are you crying?”

As the tears continued to fall, she said nothing and looked back down to the floor.  Tiffany sat down next to her and put one arm around her.

“I’m sorry that I’m not here for you enough.”

“It’s not that, Fany.”

“Then what is it?  If you’re crying, I’m not doing something right to stop it.”

“I just need time.”

“Time to do what?”

“To forget someone…”

“Who?”

“Someone I don’t ever want to forget…”

“Taeyeon, if you don’t want to forget someone, don’t forget them.  If the reason as to why, makes sense, then you should try your best to remember that person.”

“I wish I could just tell them how I feel.  I wish I had the courage to just scream it out loud right in front of them.”

“Then, why don’t you?”

“Because I knew that if I did, I would put everything that’s important to me at risk.  I don’t know how they’ll respond.”

I know it sounds crazy

That you'd be my baby.

Girl, you mean that much to me.

And nothing compares when

We're lighter than air and

We don't wanna come back down.

And I don't wanna ruin what we have

Love is so unpredictable.

But it's the risk that I'm taking, hoping, praying

You'd fall in love with your best friend.

They remained in the same position for what almost seemed like forever to Taeyeon as she thought about the words to a song.  But it’s the risk that I’m taking, hoping, praying…  She opened ready to confess…  Her love…  Her worries…  Her doubts…  Her fears…  To her Everything.

“Fany I-”

“Hey, are you two alright in here?”  Jessica interrupted.

“Yah, Jessica, go away!”  Tiffany motioned for her to leave.

“Oh!  Sorry, sorry, sorry!”  Jessica quickly backed out and closed the door.

Taeyeon and Tiffany heard some voices outside the door but they didn’t hear footsteps.  Tiffany leaned over and whispered,

“Tae, I think they’re eavesdropping.”

“I think so too.”

“Let’s teach them a lesson.”

“Alright… here’s the plan…”

The two quietly formulated a plan on the spot as the others were still listening outside.  Taeyeon walked next to the door and stood in position.  Tiffany walked to the back of the room and gave the signal wink.  Due to the signal, Taeyeon was almost unable to progress the plan.  It took every muscle in her body to force the words out.

“T-Tiffany, I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“Something that I’ve been holding back for a long time.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’m sorry that you have to listen to this.  But…”

“But what?”

A long silence dragged on in the middle of the conversation when suddenly, Taeyeon used her diaphragm and forced out the loudest yell she could muster up.

“BUSTED!!”

Taeyeon yanked the door open as quickly as she could as Tiffany ran towards the door.  As soon as the door opened, a collection of screams were followed by four girls falling forward to the floor in the doorway and the remaining three being tackled to the ground by Tiffany.

“Owwww…  Unnie, that was really cruel.” Yoona complained while rolling over to her side.

“Tiffany… You’re really strong…  Agh…”  Sooyoung crawled out from underneath the pile consisting of Hyoyeon, Seohyun, and Yuri.

“Ahhh… Get off, Sunny!  You may be small, but you’re also heavy!”  Jessica screamed while trying to crawl out from underneath Sunny.

“Don’t eavesdrop on us again!  We’re stronger together, and we can take you all down!”  Tiffany teased them while helping them up.

They all laughed and returned to the living room, leaving Taeyeon in the room again.

We’re stronger together…

Taeyeon smiled and followed the girls to the living room.

______________

“Okay!  Everyone ready?  Put your hands in!”

All nine piled their hands in the centre at Taeyeon’s command.

“지금은…”

“소녀시대!!!”

They lined up backstage, checking their clothes, and taking one last drink from their water bottles.  They were ready for their next performance.

“Taeyeon?”

“Hm?”

“You seem oddly happier than before…”

“I think I can hold out for a little longer.”

“Well, don’t worry about that tonight.  It’s your birthday after all.”  Sooyoung smiled and returned to her position.

Performance, after performance, Taeyeon’s night was enjoyable and fun.  She had always loved performing for fans, especially with the other members by her side.  What could’ve been better?  She spent the whole night dancing next to her secret crush and singing with her friends.  For some reason though, Tiffany always found a way to make Taeyeon’s night better even if it seemed impossible.

||backstage||

“Taeyeon seems a lot better than before hm?”

“Yeah, she does.  What did you say to her?”

“Nothing…  Was I supposed to?”

“She may seem bright and happy now, but I have a feeling it’s only because she doesn’t want us to worry.”

“Somebody should cheer her up…”

“…”  Sooyoung stared at Tiffany with a sarcastic look.

“Good idea.”

“Since I think it might have something to do with you…  It’s probably best that you help her out.”

“Well, it is her birthday today after all.  Hehe, brace yourself, Taeng.”

Tiffany waited for the next song to play.

Beep Beep…  That’s perfect!  But what will I do?

She followed the choreography and sang her lines correctly for the first quarter of the song when Sooyoung made her dance focus towards Taeyeon.  She mouthed,

“Tiffany…  Follow along.”

Tiffany caught the hint and waited for just after her part.

“信じさせて私の前で出来ないことは”

Perfect time!

At this point Tiffany turned around and instead of doing the regular choreography, she did a dance for Taeyeon in front of all the fans in attendance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwEvF-Zi64Q

Click to 1:29

“Taeyeon ah, 사랑해!”

Taeyeon’s heart jumped and a goofy grin spread across her face.

Ahahaha, success!

Tiffany smiled and continued to dance.  Taeyeon pushed herself to follow along with their performance while she still processed what had just happened.  For the rest of the song, she couldn’t stop smiling and thinking about Tiffany’s dance.

오모 Tiffany, my heart…  Are you trying to kill me?

Tiffany turned her head and laughed.

Ah!  Did I say that out loud?  Eh…

The rest of the night was better than all the others.  For Taeyeon, it meant that she didn’t have to hold back much and that she was able to celebrate her 24^th birthday on stage, with her fans.

“This cake looks delicious!”  Taeyeon smiled.

“Hey Taeyeon.”

“Hm?”  Taeyeon turned her head towards Tiffany.

“You have a little something on your nose…  Hah!”  She dabbed a little bit of icing on Taeyeon’s nose.

“Mm, sweet.”  Taeyeon smiled.