“I think I already know what the third wish will be.” He announced quietly, tipping his head to the side so that he is looking me straight in the eyes.

I returned his gaze. “Yeah? Took you long enough to decide, I thought you had already let it go,”

“You wish. So… onto the third request?”

“Spill it.” I said, giving him a lopsided grin, ready to roll my eyes at anything he will say. (because I know it will probably eyes-rolling worthy and stupid and pathetic)

“I want to date Chin-Sung.”

My stomach dropped low on the ground.

“What?” I furrowed my brows in confusion.

“Didn’t you hear me the first time? Are you deaf?”

Silence.

“Okay so maybe I heard it. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Win her for me, dummy.”

The planned lopsided grin never made it to my face. Did he just ask me to win a girl for her?

“That’s going over the line, Jongin.” I said as quiet as I can, trying to get my voice to sound even.

“What?” He said defensively. “Just a few sweet words and sweet things there and then, it’s not that hard. It’ll be easier for you’re a girl and thus, you’ll know what she’ll like,”

“I think you’re missing the point, mister.”

*

After that night of my clinginess, things had pretty much gone back to normal. Maybe it’s even safe to say that we’ve become ‘closer’ (umm, slightly in the physical aspect, okay). I took my usual sit beside him inside the classroom and the seat opposite him during lunch. I also accompanied him to the dance room as he run through his usual routines, with me awed with his every movement (as always).

Well, everything was supposed to be like this, in the first place I thought. Only, the thought didn’t linger long before my face contorted into something as of grimness upon realizing that things aren’t really pretty much the same for me.

No. Nothing is the same. Not anymore.

 Because those weird feelings, the knots in my stomach and the tightening in my chest didn’t fade away. It only became worse as day passes by and I feel so helpless because I can’t talk to anyone about it. Thanks to the high school life I lived without garnering close friends. All of them are mere acquaintances. The closest friend that I got is Joo Eun, which I didn’t even consider at this instance and I probably never will.

I never knew how things came to this but all of it happened before I knew it.

I stared at the chocolate menu in front of me, wishing the chocolate shop would burn down and immediately dismissed the thought because the employees were all nice to me.

How did it come to this? I asked myself once more. Why am I even on a chocolate shop? Why did I even agree to do it?

Maybe it’s because I don’t want everything I’ve done so far go to waste or maybe it’s just that flicker of hope inside Jongin’s eyes that made me agree to this stupid thing.

I literally feel the most stupid person on earth that suddenly all those medals seems like a big joke laughing at me today. Because who, in their right minds, will agree to a guy’s request of winning the girl she likes, which is something, the last time I checked, is something a guy should do if he really wants to win the girl of his dreams.

 Maybe it’s the way he said, “Do it or I won’t include your name on our project. We agreed on three requests,” that has the threatening edge in it.

Or maybe it’s with the way of trying to make the feeling of falling apart like a budding flower squashed by a dog’s paw before it had a chance of showing its beauty on earth be bearable.

So here I am, my second day of looking for a gift he would give to Chin-Sun (the dancing ballerina,) in this chocolate shop with nice employees and really nice chocolates. I wish someday I can buy something here without feeling depressed.

I still can’t decide if I’m going to buy a hazelnut chocolate with almonds, or a white chocolate with nuts because personally, if I’m going to give this to Jongin, I would choose a dark chocolate –one that reminds me exactly of how he very much resembles the thing: dark –a tinge of bitter taste for his not-so-nice attitude but nonetheless sweet, and seductive. And I thought what the hell because I shouldn’t even be thinking about giving that damn dancer a chocolate.

*

Nothing much really changed except for the tightening of my chest that now frequently happens whenever I see Jongin approach Chin-Sun or how a bead of water will fall from my eyes every night upon thinking about Jongin and Chin-Sun together.

I think I should just admit now that things really did change and I have to adapt to it and change for the better, myself. So I tried distancing myself from Jongin since Tuesday morning. It’s not the type of distance where you’ll push so that the other will pull you ba