I never knew how I got back to the comfort of my sheets, but when I opened my eyes, I am in a familiar room, with pink linen and big, puffy cotton-ball like teddies that blocked my vision from the door. I couldn’t remember getting up, or even reaching home after Jongin hailed that cab, nor even remember changing my uniform into flannel pajamas.

“Mom? How did I get home?” I asked as I munch on her freshly made waffles, loving how familiar and homey and how things are supposed to be as easy as this.

“Jongin carried you all the way to your room and I changed you into that pajama. You were sound asleep so he didn’t bother to wake you up. Said you’re too tired to even walk and travel by yourself that’s why he decided to take you home. A nice guy, I say.” My mom said, a glint of something like fondness dancing on those pair of brown orbs.

“Oh.” I answered, my heart swelling a bit upon hearing that he took me up to my room, he cared enough not to let me go home alone by myself and –

Instantly washed over by dread when I realized what day it is.

Holy .

 It’s Friday.

I haven’t prepared anything for their date yet.

*

The walk to school feels like an anchor is attached to my feet and every step I take is like dragging it. I take half my usual step this and still feel that it is not slow enough.

The day I had been dreading to come has finally arrived.

“You now ready to lose it?” Baekhyun asked, slinging an arm around my shoulders and taking my bag using his free hand.

“I don’t know what to do, Baek,” I said and I stopped moving, stopped walking. –just stood there for a good few seconds.

Then Baekhyun decided to speak up, “You do, Kyung-Soon,” he said, looking me straight in the eyes, “you do, and you know you shouldn’t be doing it.” He said, his voice and face dead serious. Like my life depended on it.

It probably does.

*

An hour and a half of lessons didn’t stop me from thinking about the day as it unfolds be