Wooyoung stares at the paper in his hand as he sits on the bench with crossed legs, an elbow pressed at the side of his knee and cheek resting on his palm. No matter hard how he tries to think what he really wants to do, he can't come up with anything. He might not have a perfect health but he is blessed with having a loving family and that's already enough. Wooyoung wants to be healthy but other than that, he's pretty grateful with what he has right now.

The basketball bounces and rolls to the bench, and Wooyoung bends down to pick it, handing it up at Minjun who went after it.

“I'm gonna take a break!” Minjun shouts at Jaebeom and Jinyoung, passing the basketball to them before taking a seat next to Wooyoung. “What are you doing there?”

“Nothing,” Wooyoung says. He tilts his head a little, allowing Minjun to fix the scarf around his neck. Minjun takes a glance on the paper and pulls Wooyoung's beanie lower down to cover his head and ears.

“Ahh. That. Still working on it?” Minjun asks conversationally.

“Mmm,” Wooyoung nods his head. “I don't know what to do with it.”

“Hmm. How about "travel around the world with Minjun hyung"? Sounds good, huh?” Minjun suggests, downing his drink soon after. Wooyoung laughs.

“Ayy. That is a little.…” Wooyoung trails off. “impossible.” It's a little too much and too big of a wish, and Wooyoung can't afford being too hopeful right now.

“Okay, travel all around Korea then? No?”

Wooyoung scrunches his nose and shakes his head. “Though I think I kinda like the idea of going on a road trip,” Wooyoung muses. He imagines the sun and light breeze at the beach, flower fields and country songs, thick snow and hot chocolate drinks, tents and music and bonfires. An unknown smile creeps on his face.

“There you go then! First thing on the list: road trip,” Minjun taps his finger on the paper.

Wooyoung writes on the paper with his neat handwriting. “Will you take me on a road trip?”

“I will, if that’s what you want.” Minjun closes the lid of his water bottle and watches the twins’ mini match against each other. Jinyoung is cheating again, as usual, and Jaebeom isn’t one to take it easily. “Yah, yah, don’t fight!” Minjun shouts from the bench.

“Hyung, Jinyoung is cheating again!” Jaebeom shouts back. Jinyoung denies with the shake of his head.

“I'm not cheating! He just really at games!” Jaebeom huffs and steals the basketball from Jinyoung, scoring himself another point. And then they're back to playing again.

“Really adorable,” Wooyoung chuckles fondly at his younger brothers. “They give me life.”

“Do you like them that much?”

“Of course! They're my brothers.”

“More than you like me?” Minjun fakes a hurt expression.

“Hyung, you're so obsessed with me,” Wooyoung sticks his tongue out at his older brother playfully.

“You know how long I waited to get a younger sibling? Seven years, Wooyoung. Seven. Of course I love Jaebeommie and Jinyoungie too, but you're my first baby brother and you'll always be special to me,” Minjun smiles and squeezes Wooyoung's shoulder. Wooyoung's heart suddenly feels so heavy.

“You're so cheesy, as usual,” Wooyoung says, trying not to choke on his words and is glad when he succeeds. Minjun pulls more on his beanie until his eyes are closed from view. “Ey, hyung,” Wooyoung says in disapproval, fixing the beanie back to place. Minjun takes the paper and nods thoughtfully.

“If you can’t start big, think of something simple first,” he suggests, handing the paper back to Wooyoung.

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Wooyoung agrees. He folds the paper and tucks it into his pocket so he can give Minjun his full attention. “Thanks for taking us out today. I know you’re busy.”

Minjun waves his hand dismissively. “It’s really nothing. I will always have time for my brothers! And it really isn’t that far from home anyway. So, not going out with your friend today? What‘s his name again?”

“Oh,” Wooyoung says, slightly taken aback by his question. “His name is Nichkhun.”

“Ah, yes. Nichkhun. He seems nice.”

“He's nice,” Wooyoung agrees. They bicker, they disagree, they don't always say the nicest things to each other but yes, Nichkhun is nice and he's his only friend. Although he would never say it upfront, Nichkhun is a rather nice company to him most of the time.

“I should talk to him more,” Minjun grins. Wooyoung rolls his eyes.

“What for?”

“Just want to see why you like him that much.”

“What?!” Wooyoung feels his cheeks burned. “Where did you even get that impression? I never said I like him,” Wooyoung defends himself. “Not in that way anyway.”

Minjun bursts out laughing in amusement. “Wow, look at how defensive you are. You should have seen the look on your face just now!”

“Hyung!” Wooyoung pouts. Minjun chuckles and apologizes as his gaze shifts back to their younger brothers, eyes lighting up with surprised interest.

“Oh, look who's here.”

Wooyoung raises his eyebrows questioningly, but then turns his head to see Nichkhun playing around with the twins and another two strangers are seen at the side watching them. Nichkhun waves his hand at Wooyoung when he sees him.

“What are you doing here?” Wooyoung jogs to Nichkhun, bowing politely at (he assumes) Nichkhun's friends. “Can you stop stalking me just for one day?” Jaebeom and Jinyoung giggle at that.

“I just got back from class,” Nichkhun answers. “I wasn't stalking you,” he rolls his eyes. “Just happened to pass by. Anyway, these are my friends. Junho,” Nichkhun introduces, pointing his hand at the shorter one with an eyesmile, who gives a brief hello at Wooyoung. “And Chansung.”

“Hi!” the tallest of the three greets, waving his hand at Wooyoung for a good measure. He has a friendly smile and a warm aura that Wooyoung immediately feels at ease in his presence.

“Hello, I'm Wooyoung,” he introduces back, trying to ignore the shyness he feels at the sudden meeting with new people.

“Jaebeom,” Jaebeom interrupts, followed by Jinyoung.

“That old man over there is our eldest brother, Minjun,” Jinyoung says. They laugh when Minjun shoutsI heard that and I'm not that old! back at them.

“Let's play a game or two,” Nichkhun suggests, pounding the basketball against the concrete and then letting Jinyoung steals it away from him.

“Cool,” Jinyoung says.

“It's three against three then,” Jaebeom puts three fingers up.

“Huh, what, I'm in this too?” Wooyoung asks, half panicked but no one listens to him especially when Nichkhun quickly puts his arm around Wooyoung's shoulders and declares “Wooyoung and I are a team.”

“What? Wait a minute!”

“Congratulations Khun hyung, you picked the best player,” Jaebeom and Jinyoung tease. Wooyoung widens his eyes in disbelief, and they quickly grab Chansung to be in their team as laughter breaks again.

“Do you play basketball?” Junho approaches them after he drops his backpack on top of Chansung's and Nichkhun's on the ground near them, pulling his hat to the side. Wooyoung can feel his cheeks warming up again as he locks his gaze on his sneakers.

“No,” Wooyoung confesses with a sheepish shake of his head. “I'm a terrible shooter.”






“You're a terrible shooter,” Nichkhun comments, much, much later after the match and after dropping Chansung and Junho off at the bus stop. Wooyoung huffs and quickens his pace. “Just kidding!” Nichkhun catches up with him and pokes him on his arm.

“I told you I was a terrible shooter,” Wooyoung mutters.

“It wasn't that bad,” Nichkhun smiles. “Maybe you're better at other sports?” he wants to know.

“I don't play sports,” Wooyoung grumbles. “It's either I end up getting injured or getting sick. So I just watch from the sidelines most of the time.”

“But sport is healthy for you.”

“I just get sick really easily, that's all. I prefer not to risk and bring problem to everyone.”

“You seem to like basketball though,” Nichkhun says, almost like an afterthought. Wooyoung sighs heavily and relaxes his posture, switching back to a normal pace. He doesn't answer and only inserts his hands in the pockets of his varsity jacket.

“What's that?” Nichkhun asks. Before Wooyoung can ask what and respond properly, Nichkhun reaches out for the paper tugging out from one of his pockets.

“Give it back!” He tries to reach for the paper but Nichkhun quickly pulls it away from his reach.

“Oh. It's this again,” Nichkhun says, voice suddenly hushed. He recovers quickly before Wooyoung can comment and adds, “Why is it still so empty?”

“None of your business,” Wooyoung grits his teeth and tries to reach for it again.

“Not the answer I‘m looking for.”

Wooyoung groans. “I just haven't thought about it yet.”

“Hmm,” Nichkhun hums. “Road trip to where?” he refers to the list, letting Wooyoung have it back when he’s finally able to grab it.

“Anywhere.” Wooyoung folds the paper and they walk back to his home in silence.

“You do like basketball, right?” Nichkhun asks again. Wooyoung slowly, but eventually nods his head. “I can teach you,” he offers.

“You’re not even that good,” Wooyoung jokes. The truth is, Nichkhun is really good. He has very smooth, accurate and skilled movements, scoring most of their team’s point in the match before.

“You’re joking, right?” Nichkhun takes a few steps forward and turns around so he can walk backwards. “I’m in the basketball team at my school,” he says proudly. Wooyoung clicks his tongue in feigned annoyance but he’s actually very amazed (and maybe a little envious) of this. “There’s an indoor basketball court over at our condominium. You should come over sometime.”

Wooyoung clicks his tongue again. “Why should I?”

“So you can learn how to play basketball,” Nichkhun says, like it’s the most obvious answer in the world (it is). “It’ll be fun. You know you want to.”

“No, I don’t want to,” Wooyoung slaps Nichkhun’s hand away, but he’s actually contemplating. Maybe he can ask Minjun’s opinion later, or his parents’. They have arrived at the front of the bakeshop but Nichkhun doesn’t make any indication that he’s staying, and Wooyoung throws him a questioning look. “You’re not coming inside?”

“Mmm,” Nichkhun scrunches his face, hands making their way into his jeans’ pockets. “Not today,” he shakes his head, tone a little bit apologetic. “We have a quiz tomorrow so I have to open my book and actually study.”

“Well, good luck with that,” Wooyoung snorts. “See you tomorrow.” It isn’t even a question nor a demand, just a statement or maybe a reminder because Wooyoung knows Nichkhun will be back again tomorrow but Nichkhun has this huge grin on his face nonetheless. “What?”

“Nothing. I am very pleased that you want me around here,” he starts taking backward steps again. “See you tomorrow, Wooyoung,” he smiles and waves, and then turns around to leave. Wooyoung clicks his tongue again but realizes he’s waving back at Nichkhun even after he’s gone from his sight.

+

Wooyoung gets easily exhausted at times and it gets really hard to get proper rest. When Wooyoung wakes up right in the middle of the night and he can’t go back to sleep again, he takes out his list and decides to really fill at least half of it for now.

He still doesn’t dare to hope and to list down huge, impossible wishes or dreams but he’s taking Minjun’s advice to start everything with something simple first. He realizes how minor and overly ridiculous some of them are, but they’re still considered things he wants to try or do and he’s slowly progressing so that has to mean something and it will definitely do for now.

Everything in the house slowly comes to life again when the clock ticks exactly at 4.30 in the morning. Wooyoung hears sounds coming from downstairs, footsteps moving and appliances clicking against steels and counter. He can almost imagine his mom making dough and batters for her bakery for that day as she starts preparing for breakfast as well. Moms are amazing human beings, Wooyoung thinks, because they can do so much for their families, sacrificing time and energy just to make sure all of their loved ones are well fed. They never seem to get tired of showing their love, never forget to support everyone in their family circle, and never forget to let everyone know they are loved by them.

Wooyoung hears a knock on his bedroom door and welcomes his visitor in with a smile.

“I was just checking on you,” his mom says, hands resting on Wooyoung’s shoulders from his back and pressing a usual kiss on top of his head.

“Good morning,” Wooyoung greets.

“Morning sweetie. You’re always up so early. Did you even sleep at all?”

Wooyoung chuckles and grabs her hand, squeezing it comfortingly. “I slept. Just woke up too early again,” he says. It wasn’t the truth, but not entirely a lie either. He feels the exhaustion thickening and proceeds to lean on his mom on his side.

“You should go back to sleep,” she whispers, her fingers in his hair and Wooyoung actually feels the sleepiness taking over him again. “I’ll wake you up for breakfast later,” she adds in and Wooyoung allows her to lead and tuck him in to his bed. Wooyoung looks up at her and thinks that this woman, his mom is amazing, for being so strong and supportive, helping his dad keeping their family together, providing strength to everyone when everything seems so low.

For providing him with so much care and such endless, undying love.

“I love you, mom,” Wooyoung says and he can see her smile even in the darkness.

“I love you the most,” she says back, and Wooyoung will forever be grateful to be a part of this family.

+

Nichkhun keeps coming back, expectedly, and Wooyoung welcomes him every single time. There’s no use ignoring him or giving him the cold shoulders because Nichkhun will never leave and will stubbornly insist to stay, so he might as well approve and acknowledge him as a friend. Nichkhun is probably the closest thing to best friend he has right now and Wooyoung decides he’s going to keep Nichkhun around at his side for as long as he can.

Wandering aimlessly around the neighborhood is their favorite pastime but the cold weather forces them to stay indoor most of the time. Wooyoung’s room is not the most spacious one they have in the house and not even his bed can comfortably fit two fully grown up men so they ended up lying on the floor instead. Wooyoung’s not sure why he’s showing Nichkhun the list, but maybe he just needs to know what Nichkhun feels about it, needs to know if he’s doing it right (although there’s no right or wrong when it comes to what do you wish to do for yourself).

“You really have simple wishes,” Nichkhun finally says after a while.

“But don’t these little things make up the important and bigger pictures?” Wooyoung makes a point. Nichkhun rolls onto his stomach and scans the list with his eyes again.

“I guess,” he shrugs, distracted and thoughtful at the same time. “But seriously though, these are really simple and you can complete everything like…in a day.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to bleach my hair and go get a tattoo on the same day.” Wooyoung snatches the list back.

“Yeah, I don’t think you can take the pain.”

“What is pain,” Wooyoung scoffs and it immediately shuts Nichkhun up.

“Sorry, I—” It’s when Nichkhun apologizes and has this guilty look on his face that Wooyoung realizes Nichkhun took his words too seriously.

“I mean,” Wooyoung furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head. “It’s nothing to do with the pain. I just thought my family would be too shocked to see me with a bleached hair and a tattoo.”

“Oh,” Nichkhun laughs nervously.

“Yeah. You’re still gonna teach me how to play basketball though, right?”

“Yes, yes of course!” Nichkhun’s grin is back and Wooyoung lets out a silent sigh of relief. It’s always so awful how he has this stupid tendency to ruin moments. “And also, actually, I can play the piano too so I can teach you how to play a song as well.”

Wooyoung supports himself up by using his forearms and narrows his eyes at Nichkhun. “Is there really anything you can’t do?” Nichkhun wiggles his eyebrows teasingly. “So annoying,” Wooyoung looks away. He sits and leans his back against the bed. “So nice. Must be nice…”

“What is?”

“Being able to do a lot of things…Ah, so lucky.”

“What’s so lucky about it though?”

“Doesn’t it feel like that? Being able to discover what you can do? Finding something you’re really good at? Feeling useful and belonged, somehow.”

“Don’t you have anything you’re good at?”

Wooyoung answers with the shake of his head. “Oh, wait. I guess I’m good at resting.” He nudges his foot on Nichkhun’s side when the latter one rolls back on his back and bursts into a fit of laughing.

“Don’t you have anything you like?”

“I like ice cream cakes.”

“No, seriously Wooyoung,” Nichkhun says in between his lingering laughter. Wooyoung tilts his head and thinks it over quickly. Sure, he’s grown a liking towards dancing somewhere in his life before but it’s not something he can do anyway so he threw that thought far, far away. Other than that, he doesn’t have any particular interest in anything else, so he shakes his head again.

“There are things that I enjoy doing with other people though. Baking with mom, playing games with my brothers, fixing home appliances with my dad,” he lists down.

“That’s different,” Nichkhun says. He sits up with crossed legs on the floor. “But you’ll find something somewhere along the way.”

“You think?” Wooyoung asks. I don’t think I have much time for that though, is what he actually meant. Nichkhun doesn’t have to know that tough.

“Yeah,” Nichkhun exhales deeply. “I believe you will.”

“We’ll see about that,” Wooyoung replies quietly. Maybe he will, maybe he won’t. Either way, he’s not hoping and not looking forward much to it. At least he has a list now, maybe he should focus on that instead.

“You know,” Nichkhun starts again. “You’re lucky too, though in a slightly different sense. It’s not always about what people are capable of and what you’re not. And happiness doesn’t always come in materialized things. Sometimes, it’s there in the words of other people, in their existence, in what you already have and not in what you can’t have. I think you’re very lucky to have all these people in your life that love and care about you.”

“Tell me,” Wooyoung breaks the silence, trailing his gaze upwards from the carpet to Nichkhun’s eyes. Now that he thinks about it again, he doesn’t really know much about Nichkhun and there‘s just something in his words that triggers that thought. “Tell me more about yourself.” Nichkhun seems surprised by this but he moves closer to Wooyoung and sits next to him.

“You never really asked before,” he says, finger rubbing over the tip of his nose, just one of his usual habits. “There’s nothing interesting about me or my life.”

“You think mine is?”

“That’s not what I meant. Though, I do get interested at the idea of how life differs for every person. How they perceive life, and the ways they tackle the obstacles along the way. I think most people have a great journey and story to tell.”

“Then you would have one too, right?”

“Honestly, I thought I’d be one of the few that doesn’t.”

“Yeah? Then?”

“Then…you came along. I feel like my life will be amazing with you in it.”

Wooyoung’s not even sure what Nichkhun’s trying to say but he can’t stop the grin from appearing on his face. “Cheesy, tacky, cheap,” Wooyoung pokes his finger on Nichkhun’s side with every word said. “What does that even mean?”

Nichkhun avoids and swats Wooyoung’s finger away with a smiley face. “It means that we’ll rock each other’s world.”