KATE POV:

“Aigoo, baby is so cute posing with his balloons on his special day!” I exclaimed when I saw TOP’s birthday photo on tumblr.

It was a typical night where I will spend at least 3 hours filling up my Big Bang & TOP’s desires via the internet of course.

Seunghyun finally turned 26! And he killed his airport fashion in LA with his glossy sunnies  and a grey trench coat paired up with the latest Prada brougues.

I just reached home from night study at school and currently updating myself with the ALIVE TOUR & TOP! The website finally updated the fan cams and I hurriedly played the videos!

“Awww TOP thanked the fans in English for celebrating his birthday plus he blow kisses to them OMG!” I cried. “Why can’t he come back to Singapore to celebrate his special day or something? WHY WHY WHY!”

Anyway it wouldn’t make a difference because I’ll be having my exams and can’t see Big Bang though we’re practically breathing the same air!

**(Recalling the time when Big Bang was in Singapore in September)

“Dad you know this band, Big Bang right? You see they are already in town and I really hope to see them! Can you please let me see them?”

“Korean band is it? Don’t you have exams now?! Priorities young lady! This Big Bang thing will come another time but your exam grades are forever you know?! No more nonsense from you and get back to your room to study for the next paper.”

“But all the VIPS uhh fans are going and they have never had a main concert in Singapore unlike other kpop bands! They may not ever come back plus the paper after the concert is my favorite subject so I’m sure it will go well I promise! Please please please!!”

Dad just walked away leaving me running to my room and sobbing like a crybaby. “Why must this happen to me? Why the timing is not perfect, why my life is not perfect sigh…” “Exams at such timing?! Things are not going my way man. Big Bang is already here but I can’t see them except through another’s camera/tumblr/instagram/twitter WHY GOD?!” I whatsapp Jeremy my Big Bang buddy about the conversation with my dad and ranted for half an hour about how pathetic my life is. And being the most awesome friend on earth, he would send me gifs of TOP to cheer me up, complain with me and tell me everything will be alright.

**

It was 2am and time for me to hit the sack. “I’ll do my last minute revision in school tomorrow” I planned in my mind.  “When will I ever dream of TOP, wait I wouldn’t mind Big Bang though or any other YG members too!”

I’m just so jealous of the other VIPS who had already experienced such awesome dreams about them! I’ve tried many ways to dream of them but to no avail.

For instance, I would spend 4 hours listening to their songs before I go to bed, watch Big Bang’s interviews, live performances before sleeping or fantasizing about meeting them before I close my eyes to sleep.

Again why am I so unlucky?! I took a deep breath, close my eyes and drifted to sleep immediately..

TOP POV:

“Finally I can get back to the room” I rush  to my hotel room in LA after the birthday party at a secret lounge which ended at 4am.

Tired, drained all I wanted was to lay in bed in my comfortable pajamas, listen to jazz music and finish 1 bottle of white wine. I removed my shoes, socks, glasses, 2 layers of jacket and blasts my all time favorite music on the ipod stereo.

Slowly taking off all the layers on my body in the shower and letting the hot water massage my  skin.

“Hmmm” I moaned as the hot water keeps hitting my ticklish spots.

After 20 minutes, I came out dressed in my bath robe out, poured myself a glass of wine and laid on the bed thinking about life.

“Will this be the life I want to live for the following years to come? Yes this career is amazing and all but what if it’s time for me to settle down, um ma keeps hinting me to get attached but I’m always busy.

But if I have a girlfriend then how would my fans react? They’ll be shocked and some may be sad…..what to do. Maybe I’ll stick to getting married at my 40s or something because it seems like the only path to take.”

*Knock on the door*

“Who can that be at this hour argh..can I just have my quiet time for once” I grumbled and walked towards the door.”

“Coming coming!”

“Hyung! Sorry to bother you but I couldn’t sleep.. Just thinking about the upcoming albums and all the pressure to do well, I feel really burdened.” Ji Yong said.

“Sure come in, help yourself with the wine.” I smiled.

“Hyung did you enjoy your party today? We took so long to agree on your cake! I guess we can never go wrong with be@rbrick design hahaha” Ji Yong chuckled.

“Yes thank you” I brushed his hair.

 Soon Jiyong feel asleep on my bed, his hands still holding the empty glass but I was as awake as an owl, sitting on the sofa “Is there more to life than music, partying, wealth and passion?”

KATE POV:

“Last three papers to freedom!! Cannot wait to travel and hopefully I’ll meet Big Bang!” I screamed while jumping on my bed like a little girl.

I finished looking through my routine tumblr post for 3 hours and it’s time to watch the fancams wheee..

“OMG choom top!” I shivered as I replayed the video over and over again.

Not able to be there at the concert in person but still able to feel the vibe gives me massive Goosebumps and sometimes tears will naturally flow down my cheeks. 

“My TOP when will I ever see you” I whined.

“What if I join YG Entertainment and work for them so that I can see my babies! Aish I’m forever thinking so much unrealistic ideas, Kate you delusional woman .

I think I will fail this exam and retake next year..what is my life man” I thought.

 As usual being the typical teenager, I mastered in procrastination so I quickly did my last few revision and managed to have  4 hours nap before the next paper.

TOP POV:

“Daebak  daebak! We put on an awesome show and the fans adore us so keep it up WHOOHOO Big Bang forever hwaiting !” Jiyong cheered after the final concert in America.

*Member all left to their rooms to rest and pack their luggage for Seoul*

I opened 2 bottles of sparkling wine, poured the wine into the glass and looked out of the window.

“Jiyong said forever just now..it means my whole life is committed to Big Bang. I love the band of course but it feels like I’m not given my freedom to following after my passion which is acting.”

“I still have to complete my upcoming movie and it’s still not half way done yet with all these traveling around.”

I took out my scripts from the luggage and read through the storyline while practicing my facial expressions using the window.

“But there’s this feeling in my heart that tells me that there’s more to life than this but I don’t seem to understand. Let’s call it day then.” TOP yawns as he stumbled on bed, tangling his legs with the bed sheets.