Kai’s POV

I breathed in the chilly air with a hint of antiseptic in it. Ugh, my head hurts. I awoke with the sound of the beeping machine that keeps on bugging me. Stupid machine. I tried to lift my eyes lids but they were so heavy as if they were glued onto my eye socket.

I let out a breath. The coldness is starting to make scars on my exposed skin.

Where am I? Don’t tell me it’s the hospital.  Oh, yes it is, a corner of my mind said.

I could hear ruffling noises coming from my right side. I launched my eyelids upwards to see where the noise was coming from.

“Oh! Kai! You’re awake!”

Next thing I knew, Kyungsoo was coming for me, grabbing my hand, while kissing them.

“You don’t know how worried I was,” he mumbled.

Wait. There’s something wrong. Kyungsoo is supposed to leave me. If he has talked to the doctor, he knows that there’s no chance of me surviving. Kyungsoo, leave me! I tried to say but its like there is a lump in my throat.

I looked away in guilt. I just can’t confront him. He’s making it harder. Damn, Kyungsoo! Stop being so hard!

“You should know that I love you and even if you leave me, I’ll never love another person,” because I can’t bear the fact that you’re still here. Kyungsoo mentally finished.

“Kyungsoo. Leave me. Haven’t you heard the stories about me? That I’m not good for you and will never be,” I said with coldness in voice.

Kyungsoo looked at me in disbelief. Yes, I know, it hurts but the pain after this will hurt more. I’m sorry, Kyungsoo. I’d rather you leave me then grief over me.

Kyungsoo’s POV

“Kyungsoo. Leave me. Haven’t you heard about the stories about me? That I’m not good for you and will never be,” he said, coldly.

What? Leave you? I’d rather die than leave you, Kai. I love you. Why can’t you understand that?

Without noticing it, tears started to swell form my eyes, threatening to fall.

“No, Kai. I’d rather die than leave you. I love you. Why can’t you understand that? If it’s about those stories, hell, I don’t believe in any of them! Please, Kai. You’re going to get better. Please don’t give up on me,” I pleaded with all my heart.

Kai stared into space as he thought about something. The silence is killing me but my aching heart was worse.

“Before I die, please call me by my real name,” he said, still not making eye contact.

“What? No! You’re not going to die!” I gripped his hand harder, indicating that I’m not joking.

Kai struggled to get his hand free and being stronger, he did.

“Please, Kyungsoo. Please,” he looked at me with sympathy. Not being able to resist, I gave in.

“Alright, fine,” I let out a sigh.

“Kim Jong In,” he said, ever so slowly.

“Alright. Kim Jong In. Please don’t go. Please don’t give up on me,” I pleaded, the tears flowing like waterfall.

With eyes so cold, he gazed into my eyes.

“Get out,” he said.

“Get out and never come back. I never liked clingy people like you. You were just a toy. Nothing more. I never loved you,” he emphasized the word never.

Every word hit me like a slap right across my face and stab into my heart. Shocked, dazed and heartbroken, I straighten up myself, wiped the tears and walked slowly towards the door. I looked back again to see his face, still away from mine. I exited out the door with every sad feeling possible.

The next day,

After being consulted by Lu Han and Minseok hyung next-door and bawling my eyes out on the bed, I sat up in bed, still dressed from yesterday and took a deep breath. Yeah, just like Lu Han hyung said, he’s just too dozed up with drugs. Nothing more. He probably didn’t mean it.

I slumped to the toilet and took a deep breath in the mirror. Eyes swollen, red nose and dried tears, I feel fine. For now.

I washed my face and got ready to visit Kai-no Jongin at the hospital.

Upon arrival, I went to the hospital desk to ask what room Jongin’s in, heck, I forgot.

The clerk looked at me strangely, giving me a sigh.

“I’m sorry, sir but Kim Jong In died yesterday, a few moments after you left him. He unnexpectedly had a heart attack and immediately died. I’m truly sorry, sir,” the clerk looked at me with sympathy in her eyes.

I was breathing heavily from the start. He died? Kim Jong In, the love of my life, died? Oh my, it can’t be. The doctors said he had a chance but this is just unexpected.

“Are you sure this the Kim Jong In we’re talking about, right?” I looked at her with disbelief.

“Yes, sir. There is only one Kim Jong In that is warded here, sir,” she said.

“No, no, no. There must be a mistake!” By now, my head was spinning as I clutched my hair to ease it.

“Are you okay, sir? You seem ill, let me call the doctor,” she signaled and person at the back.

“No, no. I’m fine. Just, confused,” I forced a smile at her.

I turned back and ran towards the exit door, choking on my tears.

***

Yeahh ~ Forgive me for making it sad , I just had a feeling for it >.> Please don't kill me ._. I have good news , though ... DOUBLE UPDATE !!! LOL 

Love you subbies ;-; I am forever grateful to you guise

Oh, and MY XIUHAN FEELS ;______;