Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun were clapping their hands gently. But with their faces paired with their clapping, I get different impressions from them. Jaejoong had a calm smile on his face. Yunho was looking down at his phone in his hand.

For a second I debated with myself whether to quickly go back to where the five of them were or to walk as slow as I can to give them more alone time as the TVXQ that I first knew.  Another look at them convinced me that whatever will happen, I have to be there with them. In three strides I was off the mini-stage.  In another ten more huge steps I could have been back at my seat but a woman called out my name.

“Raya-ssi?”  She was an ajuhmma, but an elegantly-looking one.  “You are Raya-ssi from the band ShijieShou, right?”  She asked, not sounding like a fan-girl but like mother who was her daughter’s friend.

“Yes,” I said then bowed 45 degrees.

“I knew it.  My grandchildren listen to your music a lot,” she explained with a sweet smile on her face.

I haven’t thought of any thing to reply to her, because I am anxious to get back to where the guys are.  She spoke again.

“Your music has so much heart in it.  I listened to it, too.  It made me feel like I want to be friends with you because your songs seem to say you’ll be a true and faithful friend.”

“That sounds very…Thank you for thinking that way,” I said, quite embarrassed for hearing such heart-warming comment about our music.

“Is it okay if I ask for your signature?  I had just bought a copy of SMTown Chuseok album. You have a song here, right?”  She pulled out from her bag the album.

“Ah, yes.  No problem,” as I accepted.  “Whose name will I dedicate this to?”

She dictated four names, probably her grandchildren’s.  Then she added, “My granddaughters said you should make more music with TVXQ5.”

I gave her back the album then smiled at her.  In my mind I wanted to add, Yes, we would really love that.  I hope we really can.

She thanked me and then I turned to walk back to TVXQ5.

“What is happening?” I mumbled to myself.  Junsu, Jaejoong and Yoochun are now up from their seats. I hurried to them.

“Guys!  How was it?”  I cheerfully asked.  “Oh.  Are you guys leaving already?”

“We have a schedule later at 11pm and we have to go now,” Yoochun explained.  “Thanks for the song Raya-ssi.  You were really good.”

I turned to Yunho and Changmin who were still on their seat and were pretending to eat their dinner.

“I see,” was all I could say.

“We have other comments but I think we’ll just save that for another time,” Junsu said, again with that angelic smile, which was contagious, by the way.

So with me smiling, too, this time, I said, “I’ll be looking forward to that then.”

“Again, nice to meet you, Raya-ssi.  See you again, for a jam,” Jaejoong said.  Then I saw him turn to the two seated men, “Nice to see you two.”

The other two looked up and just nodded.

“We’ll go ahead now.  Bye,” Junsu said with a wave.

It took another few seconds before the silence bothered me.  JYJ had really left.

“You can take your seat, you know,” I heard Changmin said.  I sank on my seat.

“What happened?”  I asked them.

“We’ll be done eating in a while.  Let’s all go home after,” Yunho said.  He looked so serious and I could sense the tension he was holding in.

“Okay.”

Indeed, after a few minutes they were done.  They must have lost the appetite to eat for they didn’t order for desert anymore.  They paid only for their dinner for mine and JYJ’s already paid for by President Hae.  We waited at the entrance for our cars.  However, only mine was driven out.

Yunho turned to me, “Uh, can you give us a ride home?”  He smiled awkwardly.  “You see, Changmin’s mom drove us here because we met her for a while earlier…”

“Okay.  I get it,” I said and walked to the driver’s side.  They followed suit, Yunho taking the front passenger seat.  Changmin sat at the back, as usual.  They didn’t argue about being the driver instead of me. Aside from valet parking, there are no other circumstances when I let others drive my car.

When all was done wearing their seatbelt—yes, including Changmin at the back, we drove off.

“You guys are really unbelievable.  You crash on our family dinner then you let me drive you home,” I said with my I-am-joking-but-it-doesn’t-sound-like-it tone.  And I was right that it would help lessen the tense atmosphere, sort of.

“Yah.  How many times did we give you a ride home?”  Changmin retorted.

I laughed.  “Yeah, right.”

He spoke again, while leaning back on his seat.  “Raya-ah, you are really full of surprises.”

“I thought you were the ones trying to give me a surprise,” I had to look through the mirror for his reflection to see him smirk.

“Thank you for emphasizing how our plan backfired on us,” he replied as he was gazing out the window.

Then there was silence again.  What happened to I thought I’ve lessened the tension?  I continued to drive.  Several minutes later we were a block away from their place.

When we arrived, Changmin readied to get out.  “Thank you.”  I looked at him to say it’s nothing. But as I looked at his eyes I understood that it was more than just for the ride. I just smiled.  Then he finally got out.  I turned to Yunho.

At the same time he turned to me and started saying, “Will you walk for a while with me later?  I’ll just go and change.  I’ll meet you at your place.”

“Okay,” I easily agreed.  We share the same habit of taking walks when something is bothering us.  This would not be the first that we’ll walk together.

“I’ll call you when I get there.”  I nodded and only then he got off.

I drove home then changed into comfortable pants and a hoodie.  I was creating a new playlist on my ipod when Yunho called to say he was outside my door already.

“Why are you still in your car?” I asked when I saw him.

“Get in.”

“Oh, so we are walking somewhere else,” to state to my self the obvious.  Our neighborhood is our usual venue for walking because it is the old houses village.  Just that no one is barely out as soon as the sun sets.

He drove and drove and then he stopped near the Han River.  We got out and started walking towards the river.  We spoke no words.  With Yunho I have learned that it better to let him be when he is silent because it simply means he is thinking.  He would speak sooner or later anyway.  Good thing I have patience for his long silence.

We stopped when we reached a lamp post.  He sighed.  He took out his phone and looked at it.  He smiled.  Then he finally voiced out, “Were those tears for us?”

“What tears?”

He handed me his phone.  So the piano didn’t really cover me well.

“I didn’t know you take videos with your phone,” as I handed him back the phone.

“Jae takes photos, I take videos,” he said looking at the river.

“I see.”  I imitated him looking at the river.

Then suddenly, he started saying, “What really happened today?  What do all those mean?  Will things start to change from now on?  Will everything be alright?”

I patted him on his shoulder, “What happened today is that you guys met without anyone planning it. Then they had to leave for work and you had to go home.”

“I can’t help but think.”  He placed his hands on his waist.

I imitated him.  “Nothing has happened yet.”

He held his forehead.  Again, I imitated him.

“Yah!  Why are you imitating me?”

“I have nothing else to do,” I answered.

He was suddenly serious again, “How will you feel if we get back together again?”

“Of course I’ll be so happy I’d probably cry—cry more than how I did earlier.”  Then I added, “Are you really asking about me or are you asking yourself?”

“Maybe.”

“What kind of answer is that?”

“I knew meeting them could be possible since you told us about your uncle.  Yet still I wasn’t prepared for it when it happened today,” as he placed his hands in his pockets.

I placed my hands in my pockets, too.  He looked at me and saw that.

“Okay, let’s walk.  Then let’s go home.”  He started walking.  I pulled out my ipod.  He asked, “Do you have a new song you want me to hear?”

I smiled then gave him one of my earphones.  As we walked, I thought, What a calming way to end such a weird day.  I feel like we would be doing this often soon.