Killing Me

Barely Here

Seunghyun's POV:

 

It had been a few days since we had the barbeque. I hadn't really spoken to Daesung. I mean I would follow him and hang out with him but as far as having deep conversation, well that was straight up impossible. I knew my feelings and I knew his feelings were not like mine. Being around him hurt but also made me feel giddy. I had to find a way to hide these feelings but I couldn't find the solution. That is until I saw the solution in front of me. Bom.

I knew Bom liked me but she was too afraid to ask me out. She was a part of the popular group but seeing as how Daesung's group grew, with the new addition of Jiyong, she was starting to talk to me more often in public.

Maybe this wasn't the best idea but dating Bom would probably be the best solution. Maybe I could even end up falling in love with her. Daesung would never look at me as long as Youngbae was around.

"Bom." I spotted her at the end of the hallway, heading to her classroom. "Hey." She smiled back. If I wasn't into Daesung I think I could have fallen for Bom. She was beautiful, smart, caring, and shy, which I found adorable.

"So I'm having a small study group today after school and since you're really good at science I was wondering if you could come over to help us."

"Oh uh who else is going?" She fidgeted with her the sleeve of her shirt.

"Well umm Daesung, Youngbae, and Jiyong. Just us four. If you can't it's okay you don't have to go."

"No, no. It's not that. I was thinking that it would be less people but it's totally fine. I'll go. Text me your address. I have something to do before I head over so I might be late."

"How about I wait for you instead and give you a ride?"

"Are you sure? I mean I don't know how long I'll take plus I heard you take Daesung home so it would probably be inconvenient."

"Don't worry about that It. Youngbae is going to be taking him home today. Lately he has been walking Daesung home so I think it will be fine. So yeah?..."

She hesitated before slowly agreeing to take me up on the offer.

I wasn't lying about Youngbae suddenly becoming Daesung's guard. It did bother me but I didn't protest because I didn't want to make a big deal out of this. Plus I felt like Daesung was actually enjoying his company there was no point in me taking away Daesung's happiness for my own selfishness.

Speaking of the devil.

"Hey Daesung, Youngbae. Did you both just get here?"

"No. A while a go. We came with Jiyong but he didn't want to walk to his class alone so we were forced to walk across the campus just to drop him off! Can you believe it? He is always asking for help in something that isn't remotely related to math! Seriously the next time he calls me in the middle of the night asking me whether a red leather jacket is more fashion forward over the classic black leather jacket I swear I'll rip his tongue out!" Youngbae kicked the nearest locker. "I gotta go. Since we've met up with you I leave Daesung with you. I have to go to class. Bye."

"Well... They seem to be getting along great."

I didn't like watching Daesung get along with Youngbae during lunch so instead of going at our usual spot, I decided to follow Hyunjoong. The past few days had  been extra calm. We would get the occasional teasing but nothing beyond that. Hyunjoong was planning something. I had to figure it out before he did anything.

Hyunjoong and his group were meeting in the old band room. It was the other end of campus. According to rumors the building was closed because of some freak accidents that would occur there late at night.

"So are we going to leave that murderer and his gang alone?"

"Seriously Hyun. He needs to pay for what he did to my brother!" I looked at one of the guys that stood in front of Hyunjoong. He was tall, buff, and had a tattoo on his neck. The tattoo was hard to make out since the collar of his shirt covered most of it.

"Jin. He'll pay. You need to have patience. I've been talking to the other two and we've decided that we can't move on with the plan at this moment. With the old principal retiring and a new one being assigned by the county... well we are going to be losing support. Meaning we have to be extra careful. If we are caught being vigilantes everything will be over. Yunho's death will be avenged."

"Hyun not to be pessimistic or be a traitor but all the older grown ups who have been with us since the start are starting to leave. They are growing old, dying off, and just plain moving on. Don't you think we should as well?"

"No. We can't not when this fight is almost over. Trust us. Everything is ready. We just need the right timing. I can't go into detail since I know someone here isn't a part of our group. Right Seunghyun? Next time don't stand by the doorway with your head stick. You should know better than that. Since you've heard everything you should feel relieved that at least on our part nothing will be done against you for now of course. I can't speak for other groups so I suggest you don't let your guard down."

"Hyunjoong don't you dare mess with Daesung. You don't know what I am capable of when I'm provoked."

"Likewise. You also don't know me Seunhyun."

The rest of the day I spent thinking about what Hyunjoong had said. Although I never admitted it, he scared me at times. I could never understand what he was thinking and why he did the things he did.

What was I supposed to do now?

Despite Hyunjoong telling me that nothing would happen from his part I still felt insecure... in a way a bit frightened. He had something planned. He knew that I knew and he didn't even feel threatened that I knew. He must have a lot of confidence.

“Hyung why didn’t you show up at lunch today?” Daesung grabbed my arm, pulling me back. I was headed to the door to go talk to Hyunjoong, thinking I could reason with him but Dae had caught before I could go.

“I just had some stuff to do.”

“Oh but why didn’t you tell me? I could have gone with you.”

“No there was no need for you to be there with me. I could do it on my own. It’s no biggie. Plus I wanted to give you and Youngbae some alone time.”

“Alone time?”

“Yeah, I mean I know you like him and I just wanted to give you two some space.” Daesung blushed. Damn he looked cute.

“Ohhh… Thanks but I want to spend time with you too. Not only with Youngbae. To me you’re my best friend. You’ve been there for me from the start. I would like it if you’d spend more time with me.”

He had no idea how much it hurt me to hear those words. Daesung was too kind and too innocent for his own good. He would never notice me breaking in front of him even if it was his fault.

“Sorry let’s go together.” Would I ever get rid of these feelings?

I drove the two of us back to my house. Everyone was already sitting down. Jiyong had half of body hanging off of the couch, upside down. Youngbae was sitting beside Jiyong, rubbing his temple with his elbows on his knees and from the smile on Jiyong’s face and the scowl on Bae’s I could tell they had just finished arguing.

“Hey guys. Bae here has just told me how he thinks that Saturday is going to be a fun day.”

“What do you mean?” I put my backpack on the table.

“Well last week I made a bet with Bae. I told him that if I got a perfect score on my exam he would take me out. I got the results and…” Jiyong reached into his pocket, he pulled out a folded paper and passed it to Daesung and me. “…Obviously I got a perfect score. So now we have a date this Saturday.”

“Not a date!” Bae hid his blushing face.

I hadn’t seen Youngbae this flustered since middle school when he got his first girlfriend. It made me feel happy to know that Youngbae had still not given up on love after his last bad experience.

“A Date?” Daesung repeated. He was fidgeting in his seat. I forgot he was in love with Bae!

“N-“

“Yes! But of course only PG rated cuz Bae is to conservative.” Jiyong teased Bae.

I could tell that Daesung was getting uncomfortable. The news must have hit him hard.

“Ji! I never said it was a date.” Bae was also feeling a bit comfortable and flustered.

Great now I’m stuck in a love triangle.

I could tell that Daesung wasn’t focusing on the study session. It must have bothered him which meant it was starting to bother me. Did he really like Bae that much?

I sighed, making everyone focus on me. “Jiyong, you said you liked how I looked right?”

Jiyong sat up from his seat. “Yeah.”

“And you said you wanted to get to know me right?”

“Uh-huh so what?”

“Well why don’t you go on your date with me instead?”

“Huh?” Jiyong tilted his head to the side, confused.

“Wait Hyung, as much as I would like to get free of this obligation. I don’t want to burden you with this chore.” Youngbae shifted from his seat.

“Hey I’m no chore!” Jiyong protested.

“Seunghyun…” Daesung looked at me with his eyes widened. He was too cute. Sacrificing myself for him wasn’t really much of a sacrifice. I just liked seeing him smile. If his smile meant being with Youngbae than so be it.

“Trust me. I don’t mind. It’s no chore for me. Plus I wouldn’t mind making a new friend. Jiyong and I haven’t had a decent conversation anyways. What do you say Jiyong?”

“Well it’s no problem for me I guess. As long as I’m not paying for anything.” He winked at me. Maybe I wouldn’t need Bom after all. Who knows maybe I could fall for Jiyong instead.

“So I guess no protest for you Bae right? I mean Jiyong agrees and you don’t want to go so it should be fine.”

Youngbae scratched the top of his head before nodding. “I guess since Ji isn’t bothered by it.”

“Good than it’s settled I’ll go on a date with Ji.” I smiled at Jiyong who in return cheered.

“Seung-“ Daesung was interrupted by the bell from coming from the front door.

“That should be Bom. She’s here to help us with our Science project.”

I thought that my offering would have made the room more comfortable but for some reason when I had returned with Bom the air was thick. Youngbae was sitting like a statute and Daesung was slouching in his seat with his head hung low. Jiyong was the only one who was clearly relaxed; he sat upside down whistling a random tune.

Rather than focusing on the Bom’s explanations I was trying to figure out how and where to take Jiyong on our date. I didn’t feel giddy or excited for the date but who knows maybe Jiyong could be the one for me. The study group ended before five since Bom had to go to work and Daesung had to get home by six. Jiyong didn’t need a ride from me since he drove; he took Bom since her work was on his way home. Youngbae went straight to his room; leaving Dae and me by our selves.

“Dae you ready?”

“Mhmm.” He hadn’t looked at me ever since I agreed to go on the date with Jiyong. I didn’t understand what I could have done to make him this upset. I thought he would have been happy. The drive to his house was quiet and the atmosphere was heavy.

“Bye.” Daesung mumbled when he reached for the door.

“Wait Dae. Why are you so upset with me? Did I do something to get you this angry? If I did something wrong you need to tell me or I won’t be able to fix my mistakes.”

Daesung stayed at his seat. Not making a single movement.

“Damn it Daesung! We’ve been through this same routine countless of times!! I constantly asked you to trust me! Please…”

“I-I can’t tell you.”

“Why?!” Anger got the best of me. I slammed my fist against the dashboard causing Daesung to jump. “Just tell me! I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself! There is no need for you to worry about hurting me!”

He finally made eye contact with me. . He was crying. His nose was read and his eyes puffy.

“I’m so sorry Daesung. I did it again. Oh god I said I wouldn’t scare you anymore and here I go doing it again. .” The car was too small. The heat was causing me to sweat. I wiped the sweat off of my forehead. “I’m sorry. You can go if you want.”

“Seungie. I’m not mad at you. I’m not crying because of you either… well I am but I don’t know why. I can’t tell you what’s wrong because I, myself, don’t know what’s wrong! When Jiyong and Bae said they were going out, it hurt! It hurt but not as much as when you… when you…”

“When I what?” My heart began beating at an incredible rate. I swear this was a dream. It had to be! The sunlight coming through the windows was a light orange like in the movies! The heat had suddenly turned into a nice breeze and the flush on Daesung cheeks made him look stunning. Not only did he look adorable with his puffy eyes but the best part were the words that were coming out of his mouth they were slowly killing me.

“When you agreed to go out with him… it hurt more. To the point where I couldn’t think straight! I-I wanted to his Jiyong than I wanted to hit you even more! You’ve been ignoring me the past few days making me anxious and scared. Than you go off making a date with someone you barely know. How am I supposed to feel? I don’t know what to call this feeling! I hate it. I couldn’t even look at you because just hearing your voice after what you agreed to do made me want to cry. Seunghyun what is this feeling? I don’t understand.” Daesung sobbed, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.

“D-do you like me Dae?”

Daesung stayed still. I cupped his chin with my hand. “Do you like me?” His face was becoming redder if that was possible. “Because if you did… well than it would be mutual.” I could feel Daesung gulp.

So damn cute.

I leaned in to his face, he didn’t move back or push me away instead he closed his eyes. I chuckled at his actions.

I closed the gap between us.

His lips… they were beyond soft. They were beyond amazing.

It was a simple light kiss. A kiss that I knew would leave Daesung craving for more.

I pulled back, in time to see Daesung smile lightly with his eyes still closed cute.

How could anyone be this innocent?

“I take that as a yes.” Daesung blushed intensely for the hundreth time today.

“S-shut up.”

“So that you won’t have any doubts in the future… Do you want to be my official boyfriend?” His eyes widened.

“C-can I?”

“Only if you want too.” I smirked.

“I-I do!”

“Okay. I’ll call you later tonight. Bye.” Daesung fumbled with his backpack.

“I-I’ll be waiting… Bye.” He opened the door. He stayed there for a second before looking back at me.

“Did you forget something?” I looked at the backseat. He grabbed my face in his hands, kissing me lightly on my cheek.

“B-bye!” He slammed the door shut, running inside his house without looking back.

I did not expect that kiss. My fingertips made their way to the last place his lips made contact with my skin.

 

I swear Dae… you’re killing me.

 

At that time I had no idea that someone had watched the whole scene. If I did I would have waited till Dae and me where in a private location so I could confess not out in the open.

 

 

 

UPDATED!!!!!! :D Hope you guys enjoy it! I'll update soon (not sure when I need to update other fanfics but it will be soon) :3 Thank you all for your support! I loove you all xD <3

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ddeecullen
#1
Chapter 11: ohmaigadd ! this is too cute >< i can't even handle it :))
hanalovebigbang #2
Chapter 11: Is this the end????noooo......... please.I'm begging for more
cottenstuff #3
Chapter 11: *coos over Todae fluffiness* They are too cute (>^_^<) btw excuse me while I die from that last line. I dunno If my theory is true or if you are just trolling me XD Anyway, this is the part where I paitently wait for more (which I am totally willing to do 'cause this fic is awesome. One of my favs actually***----*** So glad I clicked on it oh and sorry for flooding your feed with sleep deprived rambly comments but I can't help myself I am tired. I have never commented this much on a story before which is probably for the best. Wow my sleepy reading is hella slow okay that is the end of my ranting for sure now okay byyeeeyeeye (i have to wake up in an hour :'( It was so worth it)
cottenstuff #4
Chapter 10: SPOILERS SPOILERS GOOD LORD SPOILERS SPOILERS well not really unless you read into it but better safe than sorry SPOILERSSS SPOILERS DON'T READ ANY OF MY COMMENTS NEW COMERS FOR I FEAR THEY MAY POSSIBLY CONTAIN SPOILERS??!
NOOOOOOO was I right about the theory I made before? I hope not 'cause I want happy tutor times not sad mean ones ;;;;;;;;;-------------;;;;;;;;;;; feeling like a beached whale of sadness. That is how you tell a fic is good XD The sadness. P.S: The pictures you put in are so pretty that my heart has a spazzm every time I change a chapter *-* my heart can't take the pretty people XD
cottenstuff #5
Chapter 9: OHHH LOOK WHO FINALLY GETS MENTIONED IN THE STORY XD *such excite for the tutor student to be introduced to the gang* -possible but not really spoiler mostly just a crackpot theory- ...Do you think maybe Jiyong is the head of the nasty violent school group thing? That would be a twist >_< Sorry for commenting so often but I am getting super enthused over this fic it has so much cute but also angst like WOOOAAHHHAH Ok rant over for now
cottenstuff #6
Chapter 7: I have to wake up in two hours but reading this fic is worth the tiredness *-* Seunghyun's betting jeaaalllooouuusss. You master troll, author you XD
cottenstuff #7
Chapter 6: I'm reading this at 4:31 and I haven't had any sleep yet 'cause the feels are to much to handle. First I'd be like "Why you do dis to yourself Daesunggie" and the I'd be like ooooh dat BaexDae tho. Then all of a sudden Bae is feeling guilty about something, and I just can't imagine what he's done. This whole time I have been wondering why the town was so dang ruuuude. This is getting really rambly but I am tired so whatever. I am soooo glad you didn't leave it as 2(ish) chapters! I kinda called what Daesung's secret was during this chapter. ;-; Poor Dae. TIME TO READ THE REST OF THE FIIIICCCC K BYE xoxoxoxo
xtavista #8
Chapter 11: todae is tooo cutee..dae is too innocent^^
todaelovers
#9
Chapter 11: OMG TODAE so cute :3