Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

Ren woke up this morning with a feeling that could be described as love but that was even more than that. It was the feeling he felt so many times when he knew he was going to see Baekho. It was the feeling he felt when he had the chance to look in Baekho’s eyes or when he could hold his hand. This moment when his heart stopped for just one beat and then started to beat really fast because every time hearing Baekho’s voice he felt like having a little heart attack. It was the same when he wanted to visit him a few weeks ago and heard him singing in the bathroom. He felt touched and happy and his heart beat too fast and he just had to go because he had no idea how to explain Baekho his condition. Ren read lots of stories about someone falling in love but he had no idea how hard it would be not to be with the person that you love. When you’re in Love there’s nowhere to go. You’re stuck to it. When Ren went to sleep at night he couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about Baekho. When Ren woke up in the morning the first thing he thought was ‘In less than two hours I’ll see Baekho’ and he couldn’t help himself but being at school way to early because then he had time for Baekho. Ren has been in Love with Baekho for a long time but he has never seen Baekho as often as now after the day when they both skipped lessons. Ren wondered if Baekho might love him as well. He thought about telling Baekho his feelings but wasn’t sure because Baekho didn’t want to tell him about his dream. If Baekho couldn’t tell him about one dream than how could Ren tell him about his feelings? Feelings that he might have forever!

Ren leaned against the wall and closed his eyes for a few seconds. They’ve just ended their phone call which lasted four hours today. They didn’t speak all the time but it was nice to know that Baekho was there and would hear him if he said something. And Ren kind of liked it when he could hear Baekho breathing. Aron once came into his room and saw Ren staring at the phone with an adoring look on his face. First Aron didn’t get anything but then he could hear Baekho cough and he knew what was going on. Even Aron, who usually didn’t get other persons feelings, realized that Ren had special feelings for Baekho. And according to the long phone calls Baekho has obviously noticed that he returns his feelings. Aron wasn’t sure how to react and he didn’t know if he should talk to Ren about this. He was glad that his little brother was happy but he also found it kind of strange that his little brother was in love with his best friend whom he knew from birth.

Ren looked up when he heard a knock at his door. ‘Come in!’ he said. His heart beat faster because it might be Baekho but His heartbeat slowed down quickly when he saw Aron’s head instead of Baekho’s. Aron wondered why Ren was smiling like… well an idiot but then he remembered that his brother just phoned with Baekho and would still think about him. ‘Hey Ren, I wanna talk to you’, he said and sat down next to Ren on his bed. ‘What’s up?’, asked Ren and looked at his brother’s face curiously. ‘It’s about Baekho…’ he started but then stopped because he wasn’t sure if Ren would like to talk about Baekho with him. ‘Yes?’ Ren asked with a expression on his face that Aron couldn’t identify. It was kind of joy because he had the chance to speak about Baekho and a fear that someone could uncover his secret. ‘You two seem to spend really much time together’ Aron said and waited for an answer of Ren. He was curious what Ren would answer. ‘Yep.  That’s true. Why?’  Ren asked and looked at Aron and now Aron could definitely see fear in Ren’s eyes. ‘Can I ask you something personal?’ Aron asked and looked at his brother inquisitively. ‘Ok’, Ren said and looked quite calm but his heart started beating. He was afraid that his brother would not understand his feelings and may laugh about him or even worse, tell Baekho or his friends about it. What if they all didn’t understand him?? ‘Are you in Love?’ Aron asked. Ren looked at him with a rigid facial expression. ‘May be.. I mean yes’ he said. Aron looked down on the floor and waited a bit before he asked: ‘With Baekho?’ Ren didn’t say anything. When Aron looked up he saw that Ren just looked at the floor like he did a second ago. After a while Ren said: ‘yes’. Aron didn’t know how to react. He could feel that his brother didn’t want anyone to comment on that with something insensitive but he didn’t want to say anything like ‘Cool’ or ‘that’s okay’. ‘And he loves you too?’ Ren blushed and stared at the floor more intensively than before. ‘He does?’, Aron asked again with a little smile on his face. ‘I don’t know’ Ren said. Aron put an arm around him and hold him tight. ‘I think he does’ he said and watched Ren’s face closely. Ren’s eyes started to glow but then he shrugged and stood up. ‘You won’t tell anyone, will you?’ he asked. ‘I won’t say anything’ Aron said and stood up too. He leaved the room and smiled at his brother a last time before he closed the door. His brother smiled at the ground. Aron was touched by his brother’s face. He was afraid that he would find it strange that his brother was in love with a boy but seeing his brother smiling like this made him feel really good. He knew that one day he would meet Baekho again and that he wouldn’t see him as his brother’s best friend but as his brother’s boyfriend.