Review by Khlaren
Under the Mistletoe Tree of Love
Author: celestineblue ^-^
Fan Fiction URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/evelyn_blue4/
Status: Completed
Reviewer: Khlaren @ Mystery-Cious
Title: 4/5
I like your title because it’s striking and appealing. The title has a Christmas-y feel and I find it cute (I was a bit disappointed when I realized it didn’t have anything to do with Christmas. But it’s fine. It was just me, being the Christmas lover that I am.) I love how you made the story start and end there. Though it didn’t actually end under the tree, it pushed Jang Ri In to have the courage to go back to Jae Joong. Thus, giving it a happy ending.
Poster/Background: 6/10
Your poster is very simple. Once again, it has a Christmas-y feel because of the building and the snow (I’m not sure if that’s snow) background. Your title includes a Mistletoe tree. It would have been better if you added a tree somewhere to make it connect more with the whole plot.
Also, you don’t have a background. So a few points deduction.
Forewords: 7/10
It was good. It said something about the story without giving away too much. However, I didn’t know it was going to be a part of a flashback, it was somehow confusing.
Plot: 12/15
Your plot is very captivating and interesting. I love how you made Jae Joong and Ri In siblings. At first, though, I thought it was somehow similar to the Taiwanese drama Devil beside You (I’m not sure if you know the drama though.). But as I read on, I realized it was different. They just have the same main subject—uous love. Also, I find the plot good because I can see that you thought about the plot very well.
In spite of the good plot, I did not really get the ending.
Creativity/ Originality: 8/10
As I’ve said, the story is similar to the drama Devil beside You so I guess it’s not very original. But I have to give you two thumbs up because this is my first time reading a story with such a plot here on Winglin.. Also, your creativity showed. I did not expect Jung Eun to forsake her own daughter at all.
Flow: 6.5/10
Considering all the flashbacks and the passing of months and years, I find the flow fast and very confusing. You wrote flashbacks from 4 years, 2 years and a few months back. Also, you skipped months and years without saying too much. Though I guess it fit the story well, maybe if you wrote it with more clarification, it would be okay.
Or maybe, I’m just not that much of a fan of flashbacks.
I don’t know.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
I was planning to correct your mistakes by changing the errors giving you a download link so you can see all your mistakes. But seeing your mistakes and how long your fiction is (51 pages in Microsoft Word), I decided against it. You had a lot of mistakes in grammar—use of a/an/the, past and present tense, use of prepositions. You have to keep your eyes wide open to see the mistakes you’ve done. Proof-read, proof-read, and proof-read, that’s the best thing to do to avoid making too much mistakes.
However, you spelled everything right and your vocabulary is fantastic.
Characterization: 8/10
I love how you portrayed Jae Joong and Ri In and how you depicted their love for each other. But I thought you missed out on something. Junsu loved Ri In too right? I know Jae Joong and Junsu are friends but I wanted to see a bit tension between them. They were still rivals, after all.
Writing Style: 8/10
I love how you write. If not for your grammatical errors, it would have been perfect.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I enjoyed reading it.
Bonus: 3.5/5
I love your story, really. It’s just that I didn’t get the ending.
LOL. I’m sorry o_O
Total: 75/100
Fan Fiction URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/evelyn_blue4/
Status: Completed
Reviewer: Khlaren @ Mystery-Cious
Title: 4/5
I like your title because it’s striking and appealing. The title has a Christmas-y feel and I find it cute (I was a bit disappointed when I realized it didn’t have anything to do with Christmas. But it’s fine. It was just me, being the Christmas lover that I am.) I love how you made the story start and end there. Though it didn’t actually end under the tree, it pushed Jang Ri In to have the courage to go back to Jae Joong. Thus, giving it a happy ending.
Poster/Background: 6/10
Your poster is very simple. Once again, it has a Christmas-y feel because of the building and the snow (I’m not sure if that’s snow) background. Your title includes a Mistletoe tree. It would have been better if you added a tree somewhere to make it connect more with the whole plot.
Also, you don’t have a background. So a few points deduction.
Forewords: 7/10
It was good. It said something about the story without giving away too much. However, I didn’t know it was going to be a part of a flashback, it was somehow confusing.
Plot: 12/15
Your plot is very captivating and interesting. I love how you made Jae Joong and Ri In siblings. At first, though, I thought it was somehow similar to the Taiwanese drama Devil beside You (I’m not sure if you know the drama though.). But as I read on, I realized it was different. They just have the same main subject—uous love. Also, I find the plot good because I can see that you thought about the plot very well.
In spite of the good plot, I did not really get the ending.
Creativity/ Originality: 8/10
As I’ve said, the story is similar to the drama Devil beside You so I guess it’s not very original. But I have to give you two thumbs up because this is my first time reading a story with such a plot here on Winglin.. Also, your creativity showed. I did not expect Jung Eun to forsake her own daughter at all.
Flow: 6.5/10
Considering all the flashbacks and the passing of months and years, I find the flow fast and very confusing. You wrote flashbacks from 4 years, 2 years and a few months back. Also, you skipped months and years without saying too much. Though I guess it fit the story well, maybe if you wrote it with more clarification, it would be okay.
Or maybe, I’m just not that much of a fan of flashbacks.
I don’t know.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
I was planning to correct your mistakes by changing the errors giving you a download link so you can see all your mistakes. But seeing your mistakes and how long your fiction is (51 pages in Microsoft Word), I decided against it. You had a lot of mistakes in grammar—use of a/an/the, past and present tense, use of prepositions. You have to keep your eyes wide open to see the mistakes you’ve done. Proof-read, proof-read, and proof-read, that’s the best thing to do to avoid making too much mistakes.
However, you spelled everything right and your vocabulary is fantastic.
Characterization: 8/10
I love how you portrayed Jae Joong and Ri In and how you depicted their love for each other. But I thought you missed out on something. Junsu loved Ri In too right? I know Jae Joong and Junsu are friends but I wanted to see a bit tension between them. They were still rivals, after all.
Writing Style: 8/10
I love how you write. If not for your grammatical errors, it would have been perfect.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I enjoyed reading it.
Bonus: 3.5/5
I love your story, really. It’s just that I didn’t get the ending.
LOL. I’m sorry o_O
Total: 75/100
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