Chapter 5.
Fine Feathers Don't Make Fine Birds
Luhan felt his heart stop at Doctor Lee’s suggestion, his rate of breathing increased but only small bursts of air reached his lungs every time he inhaled.
“W-what?”
“It’s alright Luhan, calm down. I’m not saying you have to call him right now or anything. We’ll work our way towards that slowly okay?”
“O-okay, yeah… Maybe… I guess… … Do we have to?”
“If you aren’t comfortable with it, no, you don’t have to, but from a professional stand point that would be in your best interest Luhan. We’ll set that notion aside for now and give it some time; I just wanted to let you know.”
“Okay, umm, thanks Doctor Lee.”
“You’re very welcome Luhan. It looks like our time for today is up but today’s session was extremely useful. I’m glad you’re finally opening up Luhan, I’ll see you in two days.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you in two days Doctor Lee.”
Luhan got up and bowed slightly, the first time he had shown a higher sign of respect for his psychiatrist before leaving the room.
“Hello?” Meiyin answered her phone with a groggy voice. Who’s calling at seven in the morning?
“Oh sorry, did I wake you?” Luhan?
“No, it’s fine I was just about to get up anyways.”
“Okay, that’s good.” The line went silent for a few seconds before Luhan spoke again.
“Sorry to bother you but I’m still not too comfortable with Doctor Lee yet…Meiyin, I haven’t been eating my medication cause I want to get better on my own. Do you think that’s okay?” Meiyin held in her chuckle and nodded even though Luhan couldn’t see her right now. I can’t believe Luhan kept this adorable side of him hidden for so long.
“Yes, it’s perfectly fine Luhan but you should tell J-, I mean, Doctor Lee about it so he knows. That way he can keep track of your progress accurately.”
“Ahh, right. Okay thank you Meiyin, sorry for bothering you.”
A soft yawn escaped Meiyin’s mouth causing her to giggle.
“Haha sorry about that Luhan, guess I’m still in the need for some sleep. Are we still up for the movies tonight?”
“Yeah! For sure, I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“Okay, see you then Luhan.”
“Bye.”
The line went dead and Meiyin collapsed onto her pillow, her eyes fluttering closed while a smile stayed situated on her sleeping face.
Meiyin and Luhan aren’t officially together yet but they spend quite a bit of time with one another. They’ve been going on movie dates for three weeks now and have gone to the café together quite often, turn out that although they’re in different faculties Luhan and Meiyin attend the same University. Now that Meiyin’s internship is over, she’s back on campus, bumping into Luhan every now and then. Actually, she’s bumped into him so much that she noticed he’s quite popular with the female students and was often given gifts. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t jealous but the kind way that Luhan rejected them showed an improvement in Luhan’s condition. She even sees him spending time with his classmates and making jokes with them instead of judging them from afar. If Luhan hadn’t been taking the medications at all then the progress he’s making has been absolutely fantastic.
“Rise of the Guardians? Really? Isn’t that a children’s movie?” Meiyin’s eyebrow rose at Luhan’s reaction only to chuckle when he blushed.
“Sorry, force of habit… it just kind of comes out without me noticing.”
“That’s okay Luhan and we don’t have to watch it if you don’t want to.”
“No no, I’d love to! It actually looks like it’d be a good movie.”
Meiyin and Luhan stood in line together to get the tickets then headed to the concession stand for some popcorn and pop.
“A small Sprite and medium Coke with a large bag of popcorn.” Meiyin smiled as Luhan ordered, happy that he remembered she wasn’t a fan of drinking too much pop during the movies and only liked Sprite, even if it had only been a week since their last movie together.
“Hi Luhan, how was your day?” Like always, Doctor Lee started their session off with the usual question.
“Not bad, actually it was pretty good.”
“Ah, that’s nice to hear.” Doctor Lee jotted down a few notes, writing down how Luhan responded and what the tone in his voice was like.
“How was your day Doctor Lee?”
“It was quite alright and Luhan, why don’t you just call me Jiaheng from now on? The two of us are on much more comfortable terms now.”
“Oh… yeah sure D- Jiaheng.” Jiaheng chuckled and set his notebook aside, taking Luhan’s folder out instead.
“Alright, so how have you been feeling lately Luhan? Any mood swings that I should take note of?”
“I’ve been feeling better and nope, not at all.” Jiaheng nodded his head as he continued to ask Luhan more questions.
“Have you gotten angry or agitated by anything over the past few days?”
“Nope.”
“Good, good. Have the empty feelings returned since you’ve been off your medication?” This one’s important. Luhan had spoken of feeling a sense of emptiness every now and then, a definite symptom of depression that can lead into other more dangerous things if not treated with care.
“No, I’ve been feeling perfectly fine without them.” That’s perfect.
“Do you ever feel the need to seclude yourself from other’s while in public?”
“Not as of lately.”
“Okay, last one Luhan… Any progress on the finding things you’d like to do? Any hobbies?”
“Um, not yet. That one’s a little tougher.” Jiaheng wrote this all down, underlining this as a key issue they’d need to work on.
“Have you talked to your parents about this?”
“No, I’ve only told them that the sessions have been helping.”
“Alright, well this isn’t a big problem Luhan, you have made excellent progress already. We can slowly work our way there especially since it’s a touchy area for you. You’re recovering though Luhan, I can see it in your gestures and the glint in your eyes.”
“Really? That’s good to know, I feel like I’m recovering.”
“Alright we’ve got a few minutes left today so I’d like to ask you again, are you ready to contact Yixing yet?” Luhan’s body became rigid but his breathing was calm and his heartbeat no longer raced.
“No… Not right now at least.”
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