Chapter 3.
Fine Feathers Don't Make Fine Birds
Luhan looked at himself in the mirror and only grew even more agitated when he didn’t recognize the man who stared back at him. He looked at the expensive dress shirt covering his torso, perfectly ironed just the way he had told his maid to do so then took another look at his hair, gelled up precisely for a messy yet attractive look to go with his black skinny jeans. His chin is held up high and his posture was one of upmost confidence, confidence that Luhan doesn’t actually have. Angrily, Luhan shoved his head into the sink and the warm water, washing off the gel then towel drying his hair in a hurried fashion. He traded his dress shirt for a grey hoodie that he didn’t even remember he had owned before rushing out of the house and sprinting towards his car. Luhan doesn’t know what overcame him but he felt like he needed to show Meiyin who he really is. Would she still treat him the same way after seeing him like this? So common and so… ordinary? With his chest heaving up and down, Luhan took in a few deeps breaths before knocking onto the door in front of him.
“Come in.” Luhan felt his breath hitch at the voice he heard. No, no… I’m too late! Doctor Lee is back and Meiyin’s gone! Unaware of his own actions Luhan dropped onto the floor and began to hyperventilate, his vision blurry from the headache that started to form. Luhan started to gasp for air at this point, his hands clutching onto his own hoodie, an attempt to calm his own breathing down. The more logical part of Luhan knew that Meiyin not being here had nothing to do with him but Luhan has simply lost it at this point. He’s been bottling up his emotions for far too long and had refused all the help that he really needs. Why does this always happen to me? Why me?! What did I do wrong to deserve this?!
“Luhan?” Doctor Lee found it strange that someone had knocked without coming in so he decided to get the door himself, only to see a panting Luhan on the floor. “Luhan!” Doctor Lee crouched over and tried to calm Luhan down but nothing had worked. It was like Luhan couldn’t even see Doctor Lee, he was trapped in his own trance and it didn’t look good. Giving up on trying to calm Luhan down himself, Doctor Lee ran to the front desk instead, telling his receptionist to call for an ambulance. A confused Meiyin noticed Doctor Lee’s stressed state and walked towards the front desk with two coffees in her hand.
“What’s wrong Doctor Lee? Did someone get hurt?”
“It’s Luhan, I think he’s having a panic attack.”
“What?!” The coffee cups in Meiyin’s hand fell and crashed onto the hardwood floors. Without another word, Meiyin headed straight for Doctor Lee’s office to go check up on Luhan. She felt her heart shatter in two at the state that Luhan was in. He’s currently sitting in a fetal position, tears falling down his face as his gasped for air.
“Luhan!” Luhan’s head snapped up at the sound of Meiyin’s voice. She… She didn’t leave me.
“Y-you’re here.” Luhan only grew more confused at the fact that Meiyin is currently making her way towards him.
“Yes, I’m here, it’s alright Luhan, we’re going to help you okay?” Help. Luhan shook his head after hearing that word. She’s not here because she cares Luhan, she’s just doing her job. She’s just like the rest of them.
“No! I-I don’t need h-help!” Luhan’s breathing became shallower due his outburst, scaring Meiyin.
Although in shock and panic it was like a light bulb had switched on in Meiyin’s head, Doctor Lee was right about his separation anxiety disorder but it definitely isn’t mild. Luhan must have developed an attachment towards me and… what I said… must have really hurt him.
“No, no Luhan, it’s not what you think okay?” This is far from Meiyin’s expertise and though she’s pretty sure that she isn’t supposed to hug her patients, she threw that thought out of the window and wrapped her arms around the shaking Luhan. “Shh, Luhan, please, it’s alright.”
Lying down on the hospital bed Luhan turned away from his visitors and buried his face in the pillow. He doesn’t want to see or talk to anybody right now.
“Luhan...”
“I don’t want to talk right now mom, can’t you just leave me alone to do some thinking? Please?” Silent tears fell down Luhan’s mother’s face as she looked at her son.
“Alright, I’ll come back first thing tomorrow morning though okay?”
“Mhm, get home safe and… yeah… bye.”
Luhan pulled his blankets over his head and remained motionless on the bed. He’s never felt so vulnerable, so open before. Even if others hated him before, at least he was able to put up a strong front. He has been acting that way for years now and it makes him wonder when it stopped working. How did mom know why? It’s been so long, for all she knows it could have been something else. A soft knock sounded in the quiet hospital room, causing Luhan to groan in frustration.
“I said go away!” Luhan pulled his blanket off of him and stared at the door in anger. To his surprise though instead of the nurse or doctor, Meiyin is standing in front of him. Her hair isn’t pulled back into a sleek ponytail for once and her work clothes are gone, instead she wore an oversize purple hoodie with black leggings. “O-oh… it’s you.”
“Sorry, am I bothering you from resting? I can go now if you’d like.”
“No, no, it’s… it’s alright…” Meiyin took a few hesitant steps towards Luhan before grabbing a seat next to his bed.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
Luhan’s eyes widened at the fact that the two of them had both apologized at the same time.
“Wait, what are you sorry for Meiyin? You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m the one who broke down at the office.”
“I should have noticed… I didn’t do a good…” Meiyin stopped herself before she could say job. Yes it was her job to listen and figure out what was wrong with Luhan and it’s her job right now to help him but even if it weren’t for that she would have wanted to be there for him. She’s not here as his doctor right now, she’s here as Meiyin, a twenty-two year old female who’s scared out of her mind and completely unsure of herself.
“Job? No you did do a good job, I was just being difficult. I should have admitted to my problems before they escalated…”
“No, it was normal for you to act that way. Conditions like yours are hard to accept for most people but you’re going to get better.”
“… Are you going to help me?” Luhan looked up at Meiyin expectantly, holding onto her gaze for a few moments before she spoke.
“Actually, my internship ends next we-.”
“I knew it.”
“No, wait! Luhan, you didn’t let me finish talking. You have to stop doing that!” Meiyin’s eyebrows furrowed and Luhan found himself smiling at how cute she looked right now. “I was going to say that my internship ends next week, but if you don’t mind… I can… you know… Um… well… You can still talk to me if you’d like a friend to confide in.”
“So, what you’re trying to say is, you want to help me out even though it’s not your obligation to do so anymore?”
“Yea! Yes, that’s exactly it!” Meiyin smiled while Luhan simply smirked.
“… You could have just told me you were interested in me instead of beating around the bush you know.”
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