A solemn expression is situated on Luhan’s face as he sits in the far back of the lecture hall, his prof going on and on about something that Luhan really couldn’t care less about. Regardless of if he passes his exams or not, Luhan knows that he’ll get his degree. With money and a powerful father, Luhan has always gotten his way. It’s been like that ever since he was a child and it’s all that Luhan has ever known. With a simple nod of his head, his maids will rush to his side and attend to his every need, a frown from Luhan can easily cost one of his workers their job and a measly smile can mean a raise for those who caught him on a good day. It’s only normal for someone like Luhan to be overly self-confident, I mean, who wouldn’t? Those who pretend to be accepting of all people are only lying to themselves. That sickens Luhan. At least he’s frank about what he thinks. Luhan often scoffs when his fellow classmates socialize with those of a lower social class, putting on fake smiles and befriending them out of pity. He finds it an absolute waste of time and energy. They’ll leave you in the end anyways.

“Luhan, please, for me? Just go for a month alright? If there aren’t any changes by the end of the month I promise to stop bothering you about it. You know how your father can be, go before he takes this situation into his own hands.”

Luhan sighed and ruffled his dirty blonde hair in frustration. He doesn’t get why he has to see a psychiatrist, there isn’t anything wrong with him. He’s always been quiet at home, it’s not like there’s anything for him to say when all their family dinner talks revolve around the company anyways.

“Mom, I already told you that nothing’s wrong! Finals are coming up; maybe that’s why I seem out of character okay?”

“That’s exactly it Luhan, since when have you ever been stressed about school? Since when have you ever been stressed about anything? Don’t try to pin this on your exams, I haven’t even seen you crack open a single textbook since the new semester has started. You just, ever since Y-.”

“Don’t talk about him mom and trust me this has nothing to do with him alright? Whatever it is that you think you’re seeing... it's all up in your head.” Luhan his heel to leave but froze at the tone in his mother’s voice.

“Xi Luhan. Take another step and I promise you, I will get your father involved.” Luhan took in a deep breath before walking back to his mother.

“Okay fine, I’ll go, but I’m only going so that I can prove you wrong.”

“Hello Luhan, I’m Doctor Lee, but you can call me Jiaheng if you’d like.” Doctor Lee brought his right hand forward to shake Luhan's, only to take it back awkwardly when Luhan took a seat in front of his instead. He shook his head and sat down as well.“Alright, I’m assuming that you’ll be referring to me as Doctor Lee then.”

Luhan smirked as he crossed his arms.

“Let’s cut the crap doc. I’m in no need of your usual icebreakers and such, how about you start asking your questions now so that I can get out of here.”

Doctor Lee was taken aback by Luhan’s attitude. He’s had many teenagers act this way but never a grown man. Despite Luhan’s boyish looks his profile says he’s twenty-two, Doctor Lee will have to change his initial approach on this patient. Pushing up his thick-framed glasses Doctor Lee leaned over onto his desk and clasped his hands together.

“Alright, let’s get started then Luhan, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself? And I don’t mean the usual icebreakers you’re thinking of, I have all that in here.” Doctor Lee unclasps his hands and picks up the folder sitting on his desk. “I’m sure there are things you dislike, things that frustrate you and things you fear. Let’s start there since you seem to be in a rush.”

Luhan’s eyebrows rose as he eyed the man sitting in front of him, well played.

“So, how did your session go Luhan? Did Doctor Lee help?”

“It was alright and I’m okay, I already told you that I didn’t need to go see him.”

“Are you sure? You seem a little more distressed today Luhan…”

“I’m fine okay?!” Luhan closed his eyes and inhaled slowly before softening the expression on his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you mom.”

Without bothering to knock on the door, Luhan turned the knob to Doctor Lee’s office and stepped inside, sitting down on his usual seat right away.

“How was your day Luhan?”

“The usual, boring.”

“Nothing interested you at all? Nothing sparked your curiosity or made you smile?”

“No. Can I go now?”

Doctor Lee frowned at Luhan’s responses and jotted them down along with the other notes he had taken during their previous sessions. It’s been a week now with three sessions completed and he’s pretty sure that his initial diagnosis was correct. Luhan has a mild case of depression and separation anxiety disorder. His mother had told Doctor Lee about how Luhan started to grow more quiet and distant ever since his best friend had moved and the fact that Luhan has no hopes, no dreams and nothing to look forward in life to furthers his suspicion of Luhan being depressed.

“No, not this time Luhan. I’ve come to a conclusion and am confident in my diagnosis; please do listen to what I have to say seriously.”

“Sure, go for it.”

“You’re unhappy Luhan, you have depression. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you though alright? It’s an illness and just like those who have things like a heart condition and such there’s medication out there for you and I’m here to help you with that, I just need you to work with me.”

Luhan slammed the door to his room shut the moment he got inside, furious at the way his psychiatrist had treated him. Depression? Who does he think he is? With shaking hands Luhan opened up the bottle of medication he was given and poured the contents into his toilet bowl. Luhan watched as the blue and white pills swirled amongst the water rapidly before disappearing down his toilet completely. I'm perfectly fine. 

"You need help Luhan, you need to talk to me and tell me what's bothering you." 

"No, you're the one who needs help. Your license is obviously fake if you think that I have depression. I don't need your medication and I definitely do not want to talk to you. You're only listening to me to get your paycheck at the end of the day and I'm only here to play along so that my mother stops pestering me. You and me both know that neither of us wants to be here so stop pretending that you care and get out of my face. How about the two of us do each other a favour and just say that I told you some sap story and that the medication you're trying to feed me works. Oh... and don't you dare say a word about me not cooperating, I can easily squish you like a bug Doctor Lee." Doctor Lee shook his head and pinched the bridge between his nose.

“Luhan, please. If not for yourself, do this for your mother and those who love you. There isn’t anything wrong with having depression. If you were to had diabetes would you not go to a doctor for help?”

“I-”

“You would wouldn’t you? If you would get help for something like that why would you not get help for this?”  

“Shut up okay! I only came back cause my mother asked, I’m not actually here to get your help!”

“Luhan, please calm down.”

“I am calm! You’re telling me that I can’t even control my own emotions? Who do you think you are? You don’t know me so don’t act like you do.” Without another word, Luhan stormed out of the office and headed straight for his car. Luhan drove home recklessly, speeding down the highways and barely getting past the other car while cutting in front of them.

Tossing and turning in his bed, Luhan groaned when he saw the time on his digital clock. He’ll have to get up for school in two hours and he hasn’t gotten a single wink of sleep. A part of Luhan knows that his mother and Doctor Lee are right but that’s a deep deep part of him that Luhan doesn’t want to acknowledge. I can take care of myself.