[September 2013]

The door made little noise when Yoonjae pushed it open. He walked inside and the small hallway directed him to the living room. The light was turned off and the TV was on with low volume. It was dark but the TV provided him with enough light to move around the room. He placed his briefcase on the couch before taking his jacket off and placing it next to the briefcase. The apartment was quiet. He stopped for a second and tried to hear any kind of noise from within the other rooms. There was nothing but silence. He raised an eyebrow and decided that they were probably up to something. There was no way that both his 7 year old and his 8 month old daughters would be calm at 6 in the afternoon.

He went into the kitchen expecting to see Joonhee. The younger male had agreed to babysit them for the day since Yoonjae had been called to work in the middle of the day because an emergency had come up. The kitchen was empty but the lights were on. He listened for any noise and heard nothing. He started walking toward the bedrooms.  The entrance to his bedroom was at the end of another hallway and the entrance to the girl’s bedroom was across the bathroom and in the middle of the hall. The lamp in the hallway was on and he smiled when he saw that the door of his daughters’ room was open. He walked towards the room as he wondered what they were doing.

“Joonhee,” he whispered, and a few seconds later, he was inside the room. He got no response and his eyes landed on Jinae’s crib. She was on her back, her head tilted to the side, her chest rising and falling slowly, and the blanket covered most of her small body. His stare moved to the bed and he relaxed completely. A gentle smile graced his lips and he was so glad Joonhee was willing to help him. Hwayoung was asleep as well. The blanket covering her up to her lower back and he couldn’t see her face since she was cuddling into Joonhee.

Joonhee was asleep as well; a book laid open on his chest and his arm was around Hwayoung as if making sure she was always there. Quietly, he walked to the closet, opened it, and took out another blanket. He moved back into the bedroom and unfolded the blanket as he approached the bed. He placed the blanket on the edge and reached to take the book from Joonhee’s torso. He closed it, placed it on the nightstand, and took a hold of the blanket. He covered Joonhee with it and took a step back. It crossed his mind how the younger male was so good with the girls and both girls loved him. He walked around the bed and placed a kiss on Hwayoung’s forehead before going to Jinae’s crib and doing the same thing to the 8 month old. He was by the door on his way out when a slight noise made him stop. He turned and Joonhee raised his neck, his eyes still halfway closed and a hand started to rub the sleep away.

“Yoonjae?” his voice was deep with sleep and Yoonjae felt his heart constrict. Joonhee was pretty, had always been. Why had he chosen her?
“Yeah it’s me.”
Joonhee stopped rubbing his eyes, “What hap- ” He looked around, “I guess I fell asleep.”
“I guessed the same thing. Go back to sleep.”
Joonhee shook his head “I’m okay.” He started to stand up, “I have to go to work anyways.”

He moved without disturbing Hwayoung and soon both were outside of the bedroom. Joonhee stretched and his back made a “pop” noise making him smile in satisfaction.

“I hope they didn’t give you much trouble,” said Yoonjae as he started walking to the living room.
Joonhee followed, “No, besides Hwayoung was at school most of the day.”
“I’m glad and thank you so much for helping me,” said Yoonjae as he took a seat on one of the sofas.
Joonhee looked to the floor for a second as he sat down as well and Yoonjae saw how his expression changed to a sad one.
“Joonhee?”
He looked startled, “Yeah?”
“What are you thinking?”
“I just- Shiwon is really gone for now. I can’t believe she left them.”
“She- I- She is really gone and I hope she doesn’t come back,” Yoonjae felt anger rise within him at her name. If she had left him, he would have been devastated but would have been okay eventually.

Joonhee looked back at him “But-”
“She didn’t only leave me, Joonhee. She left Hwayoung and Jinae. How will I explain to either of them that she decided that she didn’t want me or them for that matter? Their mother thought of them as luggage, as something that would slow her down.” She left all 3 of them and he had no idea how to explain it to Hwayoung and Jinae when they got older. That’s what made him angry. He looked at Joonhee for a second, and tried to calm down. ”Hwayoung is becoming so interested in everything every day, Jinae’s teeth are starting to appear and Shiwon is not here.”

“Yoonjae, Hwayoung and Jinae are going to grow regardless of Shiwon being here or not. If you need any more help, let me know,” he pulled his phone out.
“I think that-“
A small gasp cut him off and Joonhee stood up from the couch, ”I need to go Yoonjae,” Joonhee started walking to the front door as Yoonjae stood up. “Sorry I have to leave so-”
“It’s fine Joonhee. Thank you for helping me.”
Joonhee opened the door, smiled at Yoonjae and took a step outside the apartment, “Bye.”

Yoonjae waved and watched as Joonhee disappeared down the stairs. He closed the door and leaned back against it before sighing. He just had to make up his mind. He walked to his bedroom, opened the drawer of the nightstand that used to belong to her and pulled out the yellow envelope that had their divorce papers. He pulled them out and stared at her note, her hand writing. His jaw tensed and he looked for a pen. He signed the papers with no hesitation before placing them on the nightstand. He would mail them tomorrow. He promised himself to mail them tomorrow.

‘Shiwon. I will forget you,’ his hands made a fist; his nails digging into the palm of his hands. ‘So many years,’ he closed his eyes and lay down on the bed. ‘I’m done…’