November 26
Can i keep you?
Baekhyun and me are sitting in middle of the bed, i give him a long kiss then i separate but are mouths are still open. still close to each other, as we are giving each other air to breath. i rest my mouth in top of his lips. but i know i was dreaming because Baekhyun had die two days ago.
everyone i love is starting to leave me. i feel like the grim reaper, they stay with me for awhile then i send them to the after life. thats who i had become. i open my eyes and im back to my room. i had moved back to old house, Suho didnt want me to live in a house where i could remember Baekhyun everyday; i think thats stupid, because i remember him everyday.
the street light doesnt shine, so the light was coming from the sun. i stand up as every muscle on my body hurts. and i know why, it was when Suho was trying to hold me while i was trying to get lose. i didnt want them to take Baekhyun, because i knew that they couldnt save him. i wanted to hold him just alittle bit longer before his eyes close.
the smell of blood came back to me, like if i still had blood on my clothes. then the smell became so strong that i start to vomit. tears fall from my eyes, into my clothes. i wish i was the one dying. i wish i was the one that was dead.
the sound of me vomiting makes Suho run to me "come" i stop vomiting but Suho still takes me to the bathroom to help me clean "how long are you going to keep living without eating?" Suho grabs a towel he wets the towel and starts to clean my mouth "until i die" Suho stops cleaning me and looks at me with sad eyes. i was starting to hate people who look at me like that.
"you know Baekhyun would be mad at you" i push Suho with the little of strength i had left "dont ever mention that name" i yell i dont even feel the tears anymore the only reason i know im crying is cause i glance at the mirror.
i wasnt Lay anymore. my face is pale, i look like a person who lost 50 pounds. i get scare of myself, and Suho notice that. he starts to cover the mirror "go to sleep Lay, i clean everything up" i look at him, i couldnt say the words out loud but i was hoping he would understand my words. words of 'please Suho kill me, i dont want to live anymore'
~
the light from the sun hits my eyes as a wake up call. i open my eyes slowly, and i realize i was still the same. alone, neither Kai or Chen visit me. and i dont know what happened to Luhan. Suho is the only one that stayed by side. Kris used to come but his busy with the company.
this is what people are afraid the most, dying alone. and it happen to me, i was killing myself slowly. starving to death. i low knock then the door opens "is your time for your medicine Lay" "why havent you run?" Suho sits on the bed, with the medicine still on his hand "i told your parents i would take care of you" he smiles assure me that everything was going to be okay.
i take my medicine and Suho leaves. he has to prepare food that i know im not going to eat.
~
"can i come in?" i recognize that voice, but i choose not to believe it was him. he opens the door and we both look at each other "what are you doing here is late" i ask him, but i know he didnt care. neither do i "i just wanted to see how you doing" "im alittle better now, i guess...." he takes a step towards me then he stops.
"im sorry"
"no, im sorry" Kai moves closer to me "you know i should've have never ask Luhan out. i didnt quiet understand what happened at all, it was just easy love"
"is all forgotten" i hug Kai and he hugs me back. and thats when it hit me. it comes back like a flashback, like when your about to die and you see your whole life flash before your eyes "is something wrong?" Kai looks at me, i dont even know if it true. but i get up and i change clothes "Lay where are you going?" i open the door "to find Luhan"
~
i was like a battery i have strenght now but soon i wouldnt. looking for Luhan is harder than i thought, he wasnt in his home. i dont know where he works or where he hangs out. and i was losing hope.
but the memories of that day, come back faster and faster.
*FLASHBACK*
i lfeel my body is in pieces, lights hit my eyes. doctors rushing me to the emergency room as nurse try to make room for me. but all my mind could think of, was about that boy that i save. did i even save him? "where is he?" i ask the doctors but they keep talking saying all of those medical terms "where is he?" they take me to a room and they try to put the IV on me but i keep on moving
"where is the boy?"
"his okay, they just cleaning his cuts"
"i want to see him!" all the doctors stop and they look at each other
"you will after we operate you"
"no" i push them, and i begin to run. i feel my inner organs not in their right place. my right leg hurts i keep cleaning blood that keeps on coming from my nose. i get to the place where the boy is "oh hey" i run to him, but he keeps looking down "are you okay?" he doesnt say anything, but he looks healthy "whats your name?"
still silence "my name is Yixing, but people also call me Lay" the boy slowly raises his head and looks at me "my name....is...Luhan" he says it in a whiper but my ears are still working that i was able to hear him "well im glad your okay, your parents should be here any minute now" "they wouldnt. they are dead"
"boy is time" i turn around the doctor is waiting for me with some nurses. i turn to see Luhan whos about to cry because i made him remember that his parents are in fact dead "hey dont cry, i make you a promise! me and you friends forever okay. that way you wouldnt be alone" i raise my pinky waiting for Luhan to do the same.
"boy!" the doctor yells again, he doesnt have patience for me. Luhan raises his pinky and we make the promise. i play with his hair and i notice that two of my fingers are broken "you can keep me Luhan" i smile at him, and he smiles back.
"nurse get the boy" three nurses begins to grab me "Luhan!" i yell but Luhan looks at me with a scare look "Luhan!" another nurse grabs Luhan so he wouldnt go after me. and everything begins to play in slow motion.
everything except the time.
i stayed in the hospital for three months, when i got out Luhan wasnt waiting for me. i started to believe that he was just a dream, until i didnt think of him anymore.
im in the street where me and Luhan met when we were kids. where the accident happened, maybe Luhan might be here, and he was "Luhan!" i yell but he didnt hear me "Luhan!" i keep on yelling and running to get close to him, but he keeps on walking. he croses the street and he doesnt notice the a car was coming. i run to Luhan and i hug him.
using my body again as a shield, and this time i know my body is not strong enough for both of us. this time theres going to be someone who dies, and it going to be me.
~
i open my eyes, i was back at my room. i sit up fast as i dont understand whats going on. i look around, was all of this a dream? i get up and i go to my desk where my calendar was. and the date was november 26.
"Lay!" i look outside the window and i see Chen with a uniform, the old uniform we used to wear.
i go outside and i slowly open the door "Lay hurry up we are going to be late" "late? for what?" Chen looks at me with a worry face "to school duh" "school?" Chen sighs "next time i would let Kai do this" "hurry up!" i dont know what was going on, but i went to my room change into my uniform and i follow Chen.
"oh hear this, so dont be afraid, you would get there. good right?" "we already used those lyrics "what? no we havent" "yes, then after that goes so come out, out and let me in right?" Chen stops walking and points at me "how do you know?" "because you already told me about those lyrics, Chen we suppose to talk about Luhan"
"Luhan? whos Luhan?"
"stop playing Chen! is okay, im okay with Luhan. im just really worry about him right now, more when i saved him last night and how come im not in the hospital?!" Chen puts his two hands in my shoulders "Lay, i dont know what your talking about. really i dont" i look at Kai thats behind Chen, Chen moves aside and he looks at Kai too.
"mom....she said...uhm..if you need a place to stay...you can stay with us..." "what?" why do they keep repeating their words "Kai come on tell Chen about Luhan" Chen waits for Kai to speak, but Kai looks at me confuse just how Chen was "whos Luhan?" the bell rings and Chen puts his arms around me and Kai.
"are you here to rock and roll? or are we here to play with dolls?"
somehow i went back in time?...
~
"come Lay lets go to the practice room" i shake my head "no i have to go home" if im correct Suho should be waiting at home "okay" Chen follows the way to his home as for Kai he comes close to me "are you sure your going to be okay?" i hug Kai "yes, with a friend like you i will" Kai hugs me back and chuckles.
i open the door and all the lights of the house are on. i run to the kitchen and i give a back hug to Suho "thank you for been always there for me" Suho stops cooking "what?" i let go of him and we both look at each other "i never thank you" Suho confuse as ever could only smile, and is good enough for me.
"you welcome...?"
i chuckle "your the best"
~
im in english class and the teacher keep on talking about the great old beethoven, about how he couldnt hear and yet he compose amazing music. Luhan should be coming. i keep looking at the clock but it doesnt move, im in the edge on my sit.
this time im not going to let Luhan go. this time im not going to London, im going to stay and make my life with Luhan, im going to keep the promise that i made him. im going to follow my heart, and i know my parents would've be glad. and i know they would've love Luhan, as much as i love him.
there was a knock on the door and i stand up the teacher looks at me "is something wrong Lay?" "no, not at all" i sit back down slowly, some students even laugh at me. another knock this time alittle bit louder "come in" the door opens and there is Luhan.
eyes that have never felt a tear, shiny hair like i remember. smile that can make your heart stop and fall for him. Lujan the person i fall for, without knowing. and this time im not afraid to follow my heart. im not afraid to follow the road this heart is going to take me.
"hello everyone, im Luhan your new student"
im home.
----
thank you to everyone who was reading this story.. and everyone who comment ^^
i hope you all like the ending, i did.
i also hope you all stay with me, so you can read my next story ...
thank you again <3
a goodbye for now.
Comments