The Last Time
Can i keep you?
im inside of a new home, a small home. the living room and the diningroom are one big room, theres a master room and a guess room. the kitchen is pretty big. the feeling is nice and new. Suho is fixing the kitchen, as he is helping me and Baekhyun move in. im sitting down on the only couch theres is on this house. im reading an important paper thats do tomorrow.
while Baekhyun is lays down in my lap "do you like the color of the walls?" Baekhyun ask me, still laying down on my lap "mmm...they look good" but i dont look at them "how about the walls of our room?" "their okay" Baekhyun sits up and looks at me "your not paying attention" i put the papers down and i chuckle at the adorable face that Baekhyun has. always with the pouting. adorable.
"fine how about we paint them ourselfs?" Baekhyun stands up giving me a thumbs up "but it has to be the colors i want" i smile "of course" "and you cant say no, no matter if you hate the color" i nod "and when you come in the house everytime you have to say 'oh Baekhyun i love the colors'" i stand up and i get close to his face.
i didnt know people could be so shy when it comes to touching. Baekhyun gets shy everytime i touch him, i kiss him or i give him a gesture of love. the little innocent he has and shows me, makes me fall in love with him. everytime. i lead over and i kiss him. now only ones, but again and again.
~
im dreaming again, but i know whos infront of me. is him. the sky is not dark anymore, it looks grey but theres alot of wind. we are looking at each other, i dont recognize the place. i dont think it matters. his hair still shines just how i remember, his eyes are still the same. but this time they are not sad.
he has a smile, i dont know if his smiling because im here or if theres another reason. i feel like a just run mile, my chest is tired and i need to catch my breath. he looks normal, his breath is perfect. he was still perfect.
i dont move afraid something bad would happen. everything bad happens when im with Luhan. fog starts to slowly move in, making it hard for me to look at him. but his left hand doesnt move, it seems like Luhan is holding something. a necklace?
~
as i keep walking everyone that works for me start to clap. we got an good investmentor, gaining 1 billion dollars. i smile and people keep clapping even more, the good words dont waste time to fall from their mouths. im proud of myself, i know my parents are proud too. i continue to walk by them as they cheer becomes louder.
i stop to receive all of those good vibes, then i see him. doll face, brownish hair that changes the color when the light of the sun hits his hair. i know that look it used to hunt me. he shows his smile to me, i give a step forward and he gives a step back. people get close to hug me and i lose him. i look around and he wasnt there. why do i keep imagining him?
i push people aside, trying so hard not to look like a jerk. i hope they understand. i enter Kris office "Kris, i need your help" Kris stands up "sure what is it" i make a sign for Kris to sit down as soon as i take the chair thats infront of him "is it possible to find someone" "your the boss just tell me his name and i would hire a private detective"
"i want to find Luhan" Kris has heard that name im pretty sure. he might of heard it from Suho, Kai or even Chen's mouth, but never mine "Lay..." "Kris dont worry im not breaking with Baekhyun for Luhan, i just want to set Luhan free" i stand up before he asks me something else.
~
i hold a piece of paper as im looking for apartment 205, im here to set us free. his apartment is the last one of the street, i get alittle nervous but i push that feeling away. i knock ones and i feel a sense of deja vu, because i remember knocking on his door. i remember him kissing me and then leaving me. he opens the door suprise.
"can i come in?" he wants to say no, but i dont wait for him to answer. i push the door wide open and i come in "Lay" he yells. i continue to look around, his apartment is not big but is good just for one person "Lay" he says again and i continue to ignore him "where is it?" i say, i begin to open drawers from the livingroom, kitchen even from his room.
but the necklace wasnt there. i wanted so much to yell at Luhan to tell him 'here i remember you, now leave me alone' but if i cant find the necklace i cant tell him that "Lay stop" im making a mess but i dont care "Lay" he keeps yelling, he keeps repeating "i have to find it" in that moment Chen comes in "Lay stop" he grabs my right hand stopping me from openning another drawer.
"is time to go Lay" i pull my hand away from his hand "not until i find that necklace" i move, and i hear Chen sigh. his arm begin to drap around my arms "lets go Lay" i try to pull away, since when is Chen this strong? his a teacher, a fourth grade teacher.
"Chen let go of me" he pulls me to the door, i try to get lose but i cant.
"let go of me Luhan" i begin to yell as Luhan stands by the stairs "dont hold on to me anymore Luhan, dont appear in my dreams anymore" Chen opens the door, letting go of my left arm "this is the last time im telling you this...." i push Chen and i look at Luhan
"this is the last time im asking you this, can you let go of me?"
~
"come on Lay lets go" im sitting outside of a store, i bough some beer i didnt want to go to bar and hear noices. i wanted to stay with my thoughts, but that only made me feel worst.
"im here Chen" i raise my head and Kai is standing next to Chen "leave" "you want us to call Baekhyun?" Kai his usual voice, trying to help me "leave" Kai helps me stand up but i push him "okay your drunk" he says half joking half serious "i said leave!" i yell, Chen stands in the middle of Kai and me "Lay stop, dont say words you might regret tomorrow"
"you took what i loved" im drunk "why Kai? why did you kissed him? why?" tears fall feeling ashame "it was a mistake, im sorry Lay. i know you feel like i betrayed you. would you believe me if i say im sorry?"
i can barely stand, i was moving around so more useless things are going to come out of my mouth "no, i tried to forgive you but is my heart that doesnt allow me" Kai doesnt say anything, he stay in silence hurt "it doesnt matter anymore, im in love with Baekhyun" Chen sarcasticly chuckles "you dont love Baekhyun"
"what?" i whisper
"what do you know Chen? you have never loved anyone" Kai stops me before i could do anything to Chen, but he shouldnt be afraid of me hitting him. he should be afraid of my words.
"dont touch me" i push Kai, why is everything a mess. Kai doesnt listen and touches me again, i throw a hit but he avoids the hit and send one to me. hitting me on my cheek. i dont feel the hit, because alcohol numbs every nerve of my body.
i throw another hit to respond to the hit Kai gave me, but ones i again i fail. but Kai didnt, he hits me on my mouth. making me bleed. we are never going to be okay again like we used. everyone has to realize when this is a dead end.
"im done with you two, you can all go to hell for all i care" i clean the blood from my mouth and i walk away. cowardly.
Luhan just hanging by a thread and im the thread.
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