chapter 6
Can i keep you?
three days pass, and i continue to lay down on my bed. the room continues to be white, but the light from the sun enters the room. Luhan continues to peel an apple for me. the scene looks fake and real at the same time. the warm air from autumn enters the room, dancing around.
"here Lay, eat this" he gives me a piece of apple and i smile to him as a begin to eat it
"did we used to eat apples like this all the time?" Luhan looks at me surprise, but in the end he smiles
"yes, all the time" his beginning to lie too.
theres a knock on the door, Luhan and I turn to see who it was. the doctor enters the room with a folder, the results are in "i have good news Yixing, you didnt damage your brain" Luhan hugs me, is this the part where he leaves?
"but i cant remember anything?" im beginning to lie to the doctor too.
"well maybe is just a synonym an after shock"
"so this wouldnt last?" Luhan ask
"will see, just continue to take your medicine and come ones a month" i nod. im not coming back. the doctor leaves and Luhan begins to smile, is he happy that he wouldnt be taking care of me anymore? or is he happy that im good.
"Luhan, when i get my memories you would still be by my side right?" he stops smiling
"of course" he gives me a smile, a short one. the one that his not even sure if his going to be by my side. but his going to try. before i could make him promise me something else, the door opens and Kai comes in. angry.
"Luhan, i need to talk to Lay alone" Luhan didnt want to leave my side, but he leaves anyway. he couldnt say no to Kai. ones the door closes Kai grabs by the collar. our faces are so close.
"you are not sick! tell Luhan the truth" "i dont know who you are but let me go" i see fire on kai's eyes, is something i have never seen, but this is a war now Kai. and the only way i can get to paradise is if i win.
"come on Lay" he shakes me, but my face continues to stay the same. he gets mad and begins to punch my face, hit after hit. i can feel my bones almost breaking, or getting damage. Luhan enters the room, grabs Kai. trying to push him away from me and my face. but Luhan is not strong enough, Kai continues to punch me.
blood comes out of my nose and runs to my lips, i can tastes my own blood. Luhan finally pushes Kai out of the way "Kai leave!!" Luhan yells, Kai looks at me not paying attention to Luhan "leave!!!" Luhan grabs Kai's face, and Kai looks hypnotize.
"i cant wait for all of this to blow up in your face" Kai fixes himself and leaves the room.
this white room, is still white. the light from the sun still shines. but luhan is not smiling anymore, and this room feels dark as the lies start to paint the walls of this hospital room.
~
i start to touch the notes from the piano that is on the old practice room "do you remember you used to play?" i shake my head, but i was lying "did i ever played for you?" Luhan shakes his head "no, you can later on" i smile, if you only knew Luhan that im lying to you. if you only knew.
"why are you with me?"
"what do you mean?" Luhan walks away from the piano
"why are you here with me? you said you dont know me. then why are you here?" my words sound more like begging him not to leave, even if my words hurt him alittle. i hope he doesnt leave me.
"i think im waiting to see if you can remember more, like from the past"
"and if i dont?"
"can i keep you then?" Luhan whispers, but it sounds more like a sob, i get close to him. and the next step that i did, was as close as heaven that i would ever get. my lips became his, his lips became mine. sweet and shy the kiss starts, but i couldnt stop here. the kiss begins to move alittle fast. he opens his mouth and my tongue begins to play inside his mouth.
the sound of smacking lips bounce around the room, but we couldnt stop. he was waiting for this kiss forever and so was i. i push Luhan to the wall and we continue to kiss. his saliva taste like sin, and lies. our bodies start to get close and the room is fill with notes. i grab Luhan arms and i put them into of his head. our lips never stop touching.
the song that fills the room becomes sad. because i know i was doing wrong. but to taste Luhan lips was like tasting the sky, or heaven. it was something that comes natural, something that was only meant for me.
Luhan has his eyes close as his tasting my lips. he pushes me alittle to get some air into his lungs. we continue to stare at each other, i let go of his arms. Luhan's lips are red, i wonder if my are the same.
"you can keep me Luhan"
~
the sun shines again, but this time cold wind follows it. we are in a park, just looking at people passing by. Luhan slowly moves his hand and grabs mine. i smile and i couldnt stop "if i write a song for you, will you remember it forever?" Luhan looks at me. i slowly move my head and we meet eyes "yes" "you promise?" he nods.
"even if you are mad at me, even if you hate. or wish i was dead, always hear that song" Luhan begins to look at me with worry eyes
"why would i think all those things?" i shrug
"because we are not perfect and we might fall out of love" Luhan grabs my hand tighter
"that wouldnt happen" but i know it will. because of my lies.
"but it will!" i let go of Luhan's hand, and i feel lonely even when his next to me
"Lay, calm down" i stand up, my mouth wants to keep on talking but i know i should just sit down and continue to hold Luhan's hand.
"no Luhan i cant calm down, deep inside of me i want to hold you" i never listen to myself "im afraid to let go of you, i want to kiss you not only ones but always. the thought that i cant feel your lips all the time. scares me and i dont know how to hold this feelings"
Luhan just stares at me like if i need help because i was starting to sound like a crazy man "tell me why do i feel like this?"
"you dont want to feel like this?"
"not if i have to continue to lie to you"
"lie?"
"im not sick Luhan, i remember everything. i made you think that i was" Luhan stands up and looks at me, not a single tear did belong to me. i was alone "why?" "because the thought of you and Kai is not right?" Luhan sighs "you left?" "i was waiting for you to beg me to stay!" i yell, it was my first time raising my voice to him.
"im leaving" i grab Luhan hand and i pull him to my arms "please dont go, please. im sorry okay, im sorry" he starts to push me, i grab his face and i begin to kiss him, he didnt stop. he continues to push me and i realize his lips didnt belong to me. he pushes me one more time and this time i let him go
"because of you, i lost the most important person" Luhan yells, his forhead wrinkles, his neck shows veins. he hates me, and i dont move. i see him walking away.
i begin to breathe heavy, my heart begins to raise.
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lame chapter ><
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