T.O.P:

Whiskey burned going down his throat as he shot back another glass of it. He’d lost count on just how many he’d ingested and though reasoning told him he should be responsible and cease his drinking, his heart wouldn’t allow it. How else could he drown his sorrows?

“Apologies, Seunghyun. I know there’s never an easy way to do this, but it must be done. I’m going to move on and you should too…”

Move on to what, he wondered. All he could think about was how beautiful he thought you looked even as you broke his heart. The scenario played in his mind on repeat and no matter how he tried to assess just why you left him; he couldn’t conjure up a logical answer. Had you grown bored of him? He’d thought the two of you were taking steps to stay in it for the long run. He thought he’d marry you one day. He thought…but today he learned he’d been wrong, wrong about everything. It was far worse than painful, knowing your reality was far from what you thought was perfect. He felt foolish now and learning this he let a bitter laugh fill the air.

Se7en turned to him apologetically, knowing just what sort of sorrow his young friend was currently feeling. Not too long ago, he himself was caught in the same position and no matter how you painted the picture it was always a torturous process. “Maybe you should slow down a bit, huh? We don’t want to make any bad decisions.” Seunghyun snorted, glossy eyes glancing over at his elder. “The only bad de-de-shision I’ve ever made was falling for her,” he slurred. Shooting back another drink, he slammed the empty glass against the worn bar’s surface.

It went on for a few more hours and Seunghyun lost himself in agony. How could he still feel so terrible? Wasn’t alcohol supposed to numb the pain? Se7en excused himself to make a quick call, his worried eyes never faltering from his friend.

“She was perfect,” he sighed, eyes b with tears as a wave of sadness washed over him.

“Seunghyun?” The rapper blinked, his heartrate increasing at the sudden sound of your voice. With tears still in his eyes, he turned to the source of the sound and found you standing behind him, Se7en looking away with guilt written on his face.  “What are you doing here?” He snarled emptily.

You cautiously placed a hand on his shoulder, brows furrowed. “Seunghyun, let me take you home. Don’t you want to get some rest?” He laughed, shrugging your touch away. The motion made your heart clench, but what right did you have to feel that way? After all, you’d been the one to initiate the break-up.

“I’m not going anywhere with you. I knew you were too good to be true…,” his voice cracked and seeing him in this state caused you to grow misty-eyed. “I’m so sorry, Seunghyun…,” you began.

You watched him fumble with his phone clumsily, his eyes squinting at the screen as he searched for a specific number. Before long it rang and despite the agony he was in he smiled with relief. “Noona…come pick me up. I can’t stay here. She’s here and it hurts to breathe…I hate her.”

Teeth sank into your bottom lip and you took a step back, clearing your throat in a juvenile effort to calm your cracking façade. “I know where I’m not wanted. I’m sorry…I only wanted to make sure you got home safe.” Without another second to spare, you boldly placed your lips on his cheek causing him to flinch in surprise. “Goodbye, Seunghyun.” He watched; dumbfounded as you grew blurry the further you went.

It wasn’t long before Bom picked him up, a flash of anger still floating about at his words over the phone. “Get up, Seunghyun you’re making a fool of yourself.” She gripped his bicep tightly, willing him to rise from the stool he’d been slouching in. “Noona, I bet she’s cheating on me. That ungrateful woman, I gave her all of me,” he cried angrily.

Bom ceased all movement, glancing behind her to make sure they were alone before she spoke. “There’s something you should know, Seunghyun, why she really broke up with you.”

Once Seunghyun found out, he wished now that you had been cheating on him. Anything but what the truth was would be better.

G-Dragon:

He’d always wondered what it would feel like to get shot and now as you stood before him, your hand still in his trembling one, he realized it had to feel like he was currently feeling. “What are you saying? You mean to tell me you don’t love me anymore?”

It didn’t make any sense what you were saying when just the other day the two of you were laying together with tangled legs as you whispered how much love you felt for the other. But now you suddenly wanted to end things?

“Jiyong, let’s not make this harder that it has to be.” He could have laughed at those words. He wanted authentic answers and you were giving him generic ones, why? He couldn’t fathom it, the realization that the two of you were no longer going to be together. He gripped your hand a bit tighter, hoping the gesture would draw some reason into you. “Was it something I said? Are we moving too fast? I thought we were going at a steady pace…” he said, suddenly unable to look at you.

You wanted to leave. It hurt far too much being there with him, hurting him this way. Guilt seeped into your skin and you felt your heart grow heavy as he began to weep, unashamed to show you how much he loved you.

Heartbreak came in stages. The denial had left and now all he could feel was anger as he let your hand go. “You’re just going to give up on us like we have no history together. You’re goddamn selfish, you know? Were you just dragging me along then? Did you even ing care?”

He wasn’t being fair to you now and although you knew his anger was justified, you wanted him to stop asking so many questions all it did was leave you exhausted. “Don’t say that,” you croaked.

“What? You hurt me, didn’t you? Wouldn’t it be fair to do the same to you? Why do you get to walk away unscathed by this? Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t going to stay forever? Dammit, why didn’t you warn me?”

As you tried to rebuttal, he impeded you from doing so, turning his back on you so you could no longer see the tears stream down his face. “Just go. I don’t want you to see how pathetic I am right now and you have no right to see this side of me anymore…”

With a long moment of silence, you cleared your throat and sniffled before speaking in whispered tones, “I hope you’re able to find happiness again.”

Hearing the door gently shut behind you, he fell limply to the couch, exhaustion spreading through him. Hours passed before the silence was broken by his ringing phone. Without much thought he picked up the device and placed it to his ear, lower lip trembling as the sound of Teddy’s voice rang through.”

“Yo…your girl is going to break up with you, but you can’t let her do it, Ji. You can’t let her leave—,” Jiyong laughed pathetically into the phone as tears escaped the corners of his eyes. “She already did, hyung.”

“Jiyong…you need to go to her…you don’t understand what’s going on…why she’s doing this…” Jiyong sat up, intently listening as Teddy told him your reasoning, his heart breaking all over again.

Taeyang:

Boss watched idly on the couch as his human walked from one room to the other, the man’s sluggish movements uncharacteristic to the usual bounce in his step. The canine continued to look on as the smell of tears wafted about.

“,” the singer cursed from the bedroom as various photos fell to the floor. It was hard, harder than what Youngbae thought it would be. He clenched his eyes before pressing his palms into them, hoping the motion would make the swelling go down. The apartment was a mess and he couldn’t bother to clean it up as he usually did. The only organized thing in sight was a decent-sized box that fit all your things neatly in sections. Pictures, letters, various trinkets all left by you during the course of the relationship. For a small moment Youngbae wanted to be an and burn them. The first step in forgetting was destroying all the evidence, right? But he couldn’t do it. Lighter in hand, he only managed to cry more before the scoffed the thing across the room.

“I’m leaving. It’s just not working for me anymore.”

What exactly wasn’t working? He did everything he could to keep you happy. Was it the long months of touring? You two had worked through that. What was it? Now more than ever did he need some sort of closure, but no matter how much he looked for it he couldn’t grasp it. You were no longer returning his calls or answering his texts.

Looking back on it seemed to tug at Youngbae’s heartstrings again, pain seizing his guts. He just wanted you to tell him you were kidding. He wanted you to hold him like before and tell him he was the only one, that he’d be the only one forever.

But you weren’t going to do that because love wasn’t how they made it out to be in the books. Love was painful and jagged. It poisoned your veins with nectar that turned bitter with the passing of time and now all Youngbae could do was gather your things and put them in a box, much like you’d done with his heart.

It wasn’t long before he ended up before your door. He had to close his eyes to steady himself. He was so close to crumbling, so close to banging on the door and demanding answers. But instead he set the box with a small note attached to it.

Thank you, it read—casual, just like your break up.

But was that it? Did he just leave the box there and go on his way? It seemed so unfair. Pressing his forehead on the cool surface of the door he sighed, fingers digging into the wood. Grief-stricken he let the tears flow freely. Let them see, he thought.

That’s when he heard you, sobbing uncontrollably as someone tried to calm you down. “You should have told him,” the other woman gently said. Confusion spread and he placed his ear against the door to get a better listen. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.” Your sobbing grew hysterical causing him to worry.

What couldn’t you tell him?

But when you spoke the next series of words he wished he never asked.

Daesung:

At the time of the breakup he would like to think he took it well. He didn’t fuss or make a scene. Instead he watched you silently as you broke his heart, hands in his pockets as one of his hands gripped the box that contained a ring he intended to give you that very same day.

He messed up, how? He wasn’t sure, yet he knew he must have done something to make you leave. But he loved you, he loved you more than words and songs and poems could ever explain. And it was with that very notion that he let you walk away after it was all said and done. If being away from him made you happy then he would take a step back and let you go. Unconditional love was not like regular love, it was painful and it was dark. It meant you loved someone far more than you could ever fathom to love yourself. It meant that you would do anything and everything for that person…even if it caused pain.

s were worried when they learned the news, of course, as anyone would who was close to someone. But Daesung smiled, those eyes turning into crescents as he assured them all he was alright. Not fantastic or wonderful or amazing—just alright. He could at least manage that, knowing that you were on the road for search for a new form of happiness. That alone brought comfort to him.

But despite what he’d been saying, he missed his rehearsals and stopped answering inquiring calls after a while, finding that his heart was beginning to hurt a bit more with each passing second. He walked, wandering about with no certain destination as the agony began to come in waves.

No more dinners for two. No more inside jokes or stolen kisses as you both went about your day. The daunting realization that you were no longer his sanctuary became unbearable. Choking back a sob, he leaned against an idle tree for support, tears cascading down.

What had he done? How could he have let you walk out like that without so much as a fight from him? You were the one for him and he knew that the vest first moment you spoke your name to him. He knew you were the one he’d been singing the songs about the moment you kissed him. But now? Now you weren’t any of those things. You were going to become a passing memory and an awkward greeting if and whenever you’d run into one another.

Heartbreak should be a form of murder, he solemnly thought. This was enough to kill any man.  Should he have shouted? Should he have told you to stop being silly and work through it like all the other couples did? Why wasn’t love fair?

Sitting on the lush, green grass he pressed his back against the tree bark, his now swollen eyes closing in an effort to regain a semblance of sanity. There was no point in figuring out what went wrong, not when you made a decision. He loved you, that much he knew, and since he did, he would respect your reasoning and choice to leave him, but damn it all if it didn’t leave him a broken man.

With his eyes still closed, he steadied his breathing, exhaustion now apparent in his bones—he hadn’t slept in days. “Did you hear the rumors about oppa Daesungie’s girlfriend?” The man in question opened his eyes, brows furrowed as he listened to the girls sitting a few feet away with their coffee and pastries in hand. “No? Is she cheating on oppa?”

“No, it’s worse…”

Seungri:

Jiyong sighed, sparing a glance at their maknae as the group stopped the choreography for the umpteenth time that day. Seungri silently nodded his head, understanding the frustration from s. The youngest of the group found it increasingly difficult to focus on the task at hand. Yes, concerts and various other activities were due to come up in a matter of a few months, but all Seungri could think about was the pain he felt when you left him. The sudden thought he’d been trying to repress all day spread through his mind again and before he knew it, he was walking out of the rehearsal, the lump in his throat far too big to swallow. He hadn’t eaten or slept all he could do was sit silently and replay the whole situation.

You would’ve found it humorous, seeing him so quiet when you usually didn’t know how to shut him up.

Jiyong followed behind cautiously before catching up and stopping him with a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Go home. You need to gather your thoughts and heal a little. I don’t want to see you here tomorrow.” Not bothering to protest, he made his way down the various halls, failing to greet all the people that sent smiles and bows his way.

Why won’t you just go back to him? Why did you find it necessary to do it over a text and avoid him after? Angry tears formed in his eyes and he clenched his jaw painfully. His knuckles collided with the wall as he let out a frustrated groan. His fingers throbbed at the action but all Seungri could feel was the throbbing of his heart.

you then, he thought bitterly as he continued walking. You wanted to just cut him out without so much as a decent goodbye? Fine, then he’d give it to you. You weren’t and he could do better, way better.  He was going to make sure you saw him, walking around with a 10 clinging to his arm and every word. Then you know you’d feel the remorse. You’d beg and grovel for him to take you back but he was going to make sure you felt exactly what he was feeling now.

Could he really do that to you, though? No…

Seungri sobbed feely into his hands now, tucked away in a dark corner as his chest constricted painfully. What a joke. He couldn’t even pretend to be the stud he was on the television. He was just a man who needed you in his life for things to make sense. He couldn’t bear the thought of waking up every day without you beside him.  And he sure as hell couldn’t stand the thought of being with anyone woman that wasn’t you.

It hurt too much, the spasms of pain that spread through his body. He didn’t know what to do; you wouldn’t answer his calls or texts. He went to your apartment countless of times in hopes to catch you walking in but to no avail. He was even kicked out by security for obstructing the peace—the neighbors not appreciating the banging on the door.

Breathing in deeply, he made his way into YG’s office, hell radiating off his face as he stood before his boss’s desk. “I need to take a leave of absence. I can’t do this,” he croaked out, causing the elder of the two to rise up and hug the other. The man was silent for a moment; the sound of Seungri’s muffled sobbing speaking enough for the both of them.

“Why did she do it? I was going to marry that woman. I was going to be the father of her children.” Unable to keep his secret any longer, YG pushed the man a few inches away, his lips forming a stern line before he spoke, “Seungri…there’s something you need to know. I know it’s not my place to speak but I simply won’t let you do this to yourself. You need to know why this is happening…”