T.O.P:

His palms grew sweaty as he gripped the steering wheel harder. What was he to do? Focusing on his white knuckles he sighed. “It’s snowing.” He waited for some sort of response from you. “Do you remember the first time we came here? We were sitting on that bench outside…” smiling sadly, he tried his best to keep his poker face at bay.

Your bottom lip began to tremble. Closing your eyes, you vividly remembered the feel of your heart shattering when you saw him with another girl. With one deep breath you said, “Let’s stop playing games.” He turned towards you with a sad expression. Eyes glazing over, he reached for your hand only to find you defensively clasping your hands together. His stare remained where your hand had once been.

“Do you know, then?” laughing bitterly he looked outside. “Of course you do. My girlfriend is anything but stupid.” You remained silent, fearing that if you said anything your voice would crack. You were determined not to let him see just how badly this had hurt you.

He leaned his head against the steering wheel. “What can I say to make this go away? I was stupid, alright? I felt alone at the moment; weak. She tempted me and I was so alone that I didn’t shove her-.”

You furiously got out of the car. How dare he try to make excuses? Quickly staggering out he ran towards you, slipping occasionally from the wet snow that had gathered on the ground. “Wait! Please…please wait. Don’t you know how much I need you? I’m not ready to let you go! I won’t let you go.”

Facing away from him you let the tears flow freely and silently. The cold air caressed your face causing you to close your eyes. In some weird way you found it comforting.

“You brighten up my hectic days of solitude. I feel so alone in a room filled with people, but then you walk in and you smile at me. I feel as if all my doubts and fears just wash away. If you leave me I won’t have that feeling anymore. I…love you.”

“You should have thought of me when you felt lonely…when you slept with her. You didn’t though; instead you managed to erase all the history between us.” A broken man, he fell to his knees, the bitter cold no longer affecting his body. The warm tears that fell from his face made small indents on the snow.

“I do remember that day we were here. The day you told me you loved me. It was the day you said you would never hurt me. Tell me, were you crossing your fingers? Do m-me a favor…don’t ever look at me again. From now on we’re strangers.” You walked away leaving him with a heavy heart as well as yours.

“But I love you…” he choked out.

G-Dragon:

“W-what?” brown eyes grew in shock. You glared at him “I didn’t stutter, I know you cheated on me…I’m asking you for an explanation!” it was just a night filled with mistakes. He hadn’t seen you in days. The mixture of loneliness and alcohol had gotten the best of him.  For a moment while he cheated he remembered calling out to you; he remembered longing for you with a greater extent.

Dumbfounded, he cast his eyes at your shoes. “I…I’m sorry” “You’re sorry? JiYong…why? I…really thought that I was enough for you…” his breathing quickened.  The room began to spin as he desperately tried finding the right words to say.

Realizing you were no longer in front of him, he ran towards you. In one swift movement he pinned you against the wall, with both arms against the wall you were forced to make eye contact. Glazed over eyes looked into yours, his breath on your lips. You closed your eyes to concentrate.

“I was an idiot. I hadn’t realized what I had in my life. But seeing you walk out of my life like this; it’s enough to drive me insane. I don’t want to walk by you and pretend that what we had was never there.”

You held your breath as he began to kiss you. Never once did you close your eyes, as did he. Lips locked, you both stared into each other, limply returning the kiss. He searched for some sort of emotion in you. Breaking the kiss, he continued, “I only need you. I’m willing to give everything up just to have a second chance. I only need you in my life, baby.”

Baby...

You remembered how that word made your heart skip, but now your heart clenched with pain. He did it once. What was stopping him from doing it again?  Did he call her baby?

“I love you. I know I don’t say it often, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.”

You summed up the strength to break free from him. Once a cheater always a cheater, you decided. His arm stood in place against the wall as he leaned into it looking down. His tears formed a small puddle on the floor. Destiny was a funny thing, he realized.

After a long silence you gave up. The sound of your heart breaking seemed to be louder than your heels clicking on the floor. You wondered if he could hear it too.

Taeyang:

His heart quickened. “How did you know?” “Why does that matter now? I know…it doesn’t matter how I know. I didn’t find out from you. You were never going to tell me, were you?” his hands clenched tightly at his sides.

“I wasn’t thinking straight. I know apologizing won’t do anything…but…but I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He breathed. You looked away for a moment. The sight of him near tears was enough to make you want to stay by his side.

“I want to break up. I won’t be able to trust you ever again.” You waited for his reaction. Concentrating on the floor rather than your face, he stood there motionless and speechless. What could he say? He didn’t deserve a second chance, and asking for one would deem him too selfish.

As you began to walk away he grabbed your arm, preventing you from leaving. “Hate me.” He stated softly. “Hate me all you want. Despise me, yell at me. Just don’t leave me.”

You looked at him in shock; how could two people be in a relationship where one person hated the other? “You are the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me.  I look at you and I’m sure of everything. I want to be with you and if that means that you might hate me for a while then it’s enough for me to put up with just as long as you stay by my side.”

You began to tremble as you desperately fought back the tears. “I was never good at lying. I can’t just live a lie with you.” His grip on your arm seemed to tighten, as if he was sure that if he held you tightly enough you wouldn’t leave.

“I know now that love isn’t always going to be a pretty picture. I was naïve to believe-“

“She doesn’t mean anything to me! She will never be you. No one will. I know there probably isn’t much I can say, but what about everything we’ve been through? How will you erase all the memories that we’ve built up? I promised you forever, let me keep that promise,” his voice cracked as he tried his best to keep his composure.

An exhausted sigh escaped your dry lips.  Taking back your arm, a single tear rolled down your cheek as you responded, “Forever came too fast.”

Daesung:

His sad smile faded into a straight line. “I can’t say that I blame you for wanting to break up.” He knew you were going to find out eventually. Honestly he was relieved to know how well you seemed to be taking it.

 You knew for a while and he knew you were aware of the cheating. Yet you didn’t say anything. You waited for him to come up and tell you himself. He gave you a silent appraisal for letting him sum up the courage to tell you first. He woke up in cold sweat whenever his conscience would even begin to drift into that night, his shaky hands would always reach out to you making sure you hadn’t disappeared just yet. It made your heart wrench every time because you knew just why he was reaching out to you so desperately.

“We’ve been together for a while now. I’d like to think that we’re strong couple. Since we are…don’t you think we should work through this?”

“There isn’t anything to work through. At this point…I don’t know if I could gather up the strength.” Fear flashed in the singer’s eyes. The thought of losing the reason for his every smile—he couldn’t fathom the thought.

“I can’t erase the past. I know no matter what I do…that incident will always be etched in your memory.” Why was he pointing out the obvious? Was he trying to make you break down in front of him? You had promised yourself that you would never let him see how much he had broken you.

“Then let’s end it. You obviously know how I’ll feel when I’m with you. Paranoia will eat slowly at me while I sit on the bed alone at night wondering what you’re doing…who you’re doing.”

Words have never once hurt him so. He always knew to take negative feedback lightly, especially because so many people considered him poor in the looks department. However, hearing this from you made him stumble back a little. Would you really think that? His heart ached terribly. He moved to reach for you, but froze instantly. How he wanted to gather you in his arms and kiss you. How he longed to hear you tell him that you loved him.

Summer nights of pillow talk came flushing back into is memory. He was selfish enough to know that he wanted that forever, and that no matter what he would not let you go.

“We can’t end it. Just…please take me back. We’ll start from square one, right from the very beginning. It’ll be okay though because I love you and I’ll be with you.”  Quickly grabbing you he placed you in front of the door. Sternly looking at you he began, “Wait here.” You looked at him curiously, what was he up to now?

Walking out and closing the door he knocked before reentering. “Oh, hello, I’m Kang DaeSung. You are very beautiful, what’s your name?” his smile softened when he saw you drop everything and cry.

Your name rolled off your tongue in a stammered mess.

Seungri:

“I’m leaving you.” The words were replaying in his head. He tried making sense of them, but the understanding of that statement was nowhere to be found.

“I’m leaving you…goodbye.” Goodbye? When had you said that? You loved each other. Why would you say goodbye to someone you love?

Snapping back to reality he hastily walked towards you. Wrapping his arms around your waist he desperately held you back from leaving him. “Goodbye? Goodbye? Just like that? How could you leave just like that?” he spoke into your hair.

“Stop this…” you began only to be interrupted, “You stop it. What are you doing leaving like this?” your heart pumped faster, his attitude was making it difficult to break up easily.

“What do you want from me? Just let me go. Haven’t you done enough? Your superior attitude has never shown to be true until now.”

His arms became limp against your trembling frame. This was all too surreal for him. How could months and months of love and trust be broken so easily over one stupid mistake?

But that one stupid mistake was enough to break every ounce of trust you had so easily given him.

“I’m willing to be friends. You have to give me some time to regain some sort of composure before I can be your friend again…like before.” You choked out.

Like before

One statement after the other came out of your mouth mercilessly, each statement proving to be more hurtful than the last. He deserved all of it, though. He deserved those statements and more. He cheated on you; there was no use in denying it. It had happened and now he was paying the consequences.

“I don’t want to be friends.” He stated. You reached for is arms and began to unwrap yourself from him, panic seared through his bones. You were slipping away and he could do nothing.

“I was scared,” he softly spoke, afraid to be heard by the world. Your body froze, not sure what to say you stood quiet. “I was falling too fast for you. That’s never happened. I’ve never wanted to be with someone so much before. I was scared because something so carefree and casual became so deep and passionate. I was pressured. I’m sorry, but I can’t let you walk out of my life this way. I love you too much to let you leave like this.”

You stood in place, eyes welling up with tears as the words “I love you,” rang in your ears for the first time.