Tao had always been jealous of anything that had something to do with Kris. His teensy weensy school boy crush had crawled up to the point where he would even close his eyelids shut and be jealous of the overused pillows that has the oppurtinity of craddling Kris's head as he falls asleep. Heck, even the blood that pumps through his veins are lucky, for they somehow end up in his heart. Tao wanted to be the sun and the moon; anything that could kiss the surface of Kris's skin. He wanted to be the crucial kidney, at least Kris would have wanted him. Tao needed to be that crafted, metal spoon which grazes its edge on Kris's lips. What he'd do to be the empty thoughts that'd slither and dance about Kris's lips on four a.m.--when he can't find it in him to fall asleep.

But whenever he'd allow his vivid fantasies to jump out of his mouth and into Kris's ears, the older would never fail to give Tao the don't with me eyes before reminding him that he doesn't need to be inanimated to be loved or needed or wanted or important.

You'll never be able to fork stuff in my mouth, or lull me to sleep, or clean me like cold water after a hard day. You'll never be any of those things. Kris would reply again and again and again. (Tao actually memorized the following words, yet they always sound new everytime.)But you're Tao, and you don't have to be the coffee that I abuse just to keep awake, or the air I need to breathe. You're Tao and you'll always be the lips that would stop my trembing ones. You're the hands that warm mine whenever it's too cold to run to the bedroom to grab gloves. You'll always be the voice that I'll listen to whenever it's too dark to see anything. You'll be the one at the other end of the line when it's midnight and I have suicidal thoughts. You'd whisper I love you I love you I love you a thousand and sixty nine times until I start believing it again. You're Tao and you just have to deal with that.