.

 

 

 

They took turns feeling Tao's forehead. Said he might have a fever, might have the flu by the snotty tissues beside his bed. They layered blankets over him. Told him not to get up, stay home, no practice for him today. Just rest and sleep, they said. Asked if he's hunger, if he's thirsty and said if he need anything, just call them. Then they're gone. 

 

Through all that Tao never saw Kris once. Maybe he left early or maybe he didn't know. Or maybe he just didn't care, Tao thinks sadly. Maybe he thinks too much.

 

Tao is hot, but he shivers easily. He is cold, but he can't keep out of his blankets. Headaching, nose stuffed up and running all at the same time. He decides tissues are his best friends today. The soft ones, not the ones that turns his nose red. Those rough ones, he hates those.

 

Tao remembers he told this to Kris once when he was sick before. Kris went out, seemed like hours, and came back with boxes of those soft ones, the tissues. Everyone said Tao was being picky, but Kris said it was okay.

 

That time they were also out of medicine. So Kris went out again and came back with two kinds, said he wasn't sure which to pick. Tao took the one that were the smaller pills, because big pills scared him.

 

Tao also remembers that night he got really hungry. He hadn't eaten all day due to nausea. Kris brought him congee in bed. It didn't tasted very good. It was smoky and burnt tasting. But Kris said he made it, so Tao finished it. The next day everyone told Tao that Kris almost burned down their place making him the congee. He laughed so hard and told Kris it wasn't even that good. And Kris told Tao he was never cooking for him again, everyone laughed.

 

 

 

Tao didn't know he fell asleep until he woke up again. He opened his eyes to find a new box of tissues on his bed side. It's the soft kind he liked. The trash bin is empty, though he remembers it being overflooded by his used tissues earlier.

 

On his nightstand sits a tall glass of water and a small carton box leaning against it with a note taped on. It reads, "Take two pills and finish all the water before going back to sleep." The words are kind of messy, almost unreadable. There's no name of the writer but he could tell. It can only be Kris. And he sees it's the small pills he took from the last time.

 

Tao smiles. "You remembered."

 

 

 

He wakes up today for the third time. It's already night. Throat dry and thirsty, Tao gets up from bed with shivers down his back, wobbly limbs, and aching joints.

 

He makes it to kitchen and find the lights already on. Someone is hovering by the stove. He's tall and blonde, and looks just like Kris. Then Tao realizes it is Kris.

 

As he turns to leave, Tao stifles a dry cough. Kris turns around and catches him. "Hey," he says. And Tao says "hey" back.

 

"How are you feeling?" Kris asks him.

 

Tao still doesn't feel so good, but he says "I'm ok" instead, and "where are the others?"

 

"They're still out eating," Kris says.

 

And Tao asks, "why aren't you with them?"

 

Kris turns back to the stove to stir something in a pot, Tao now sees clearly.

 

"Wanted to make sure your not died yet," Kris tries to joke, and turns to flash the other a smile.

 

And with just that smile, Tao thinks he can die happy if he's really dying tonight. But then again, he wouldn't want to leave behind that smile.

 

Kris pours the contains of the pot into a big bowl. He tells Tao to take a seat. And  Tao does because he feels the room spinning a little, but he doesn't tell Kris that.

 

The big bowl is placed in front of Tao, who just stares at it for a while. It's congee he realizes, and starts thinking of the last time.

 

"Don't worry I bought it from a restaurant," Kris says, like he reads minds.

 

Still, though, "I don't think I can finish it all," Tao says.

 

Kris disappears for a moment and comes back with two small bowls. One for him, and one for Tao, then says, "we'll share". 

 

Kris began spooning some into a bowl for Tao then watches as the other takes the first taste. And Tao nods in approval.

 

Kris continues to watch him eat. He feels weird and awkward, and tries not to look up. Then he feels a gentle touch on his forehead. Tao stops. It's Kris' hand on his forehand.

 

Tao thinks he's stopped breathing. Or his nose is still very stuffed up. Or both.

 

"You don't have fever anymore. That's good."

 

With his eys shut, Tao hears Kris speak . He just wants to feel Kris' hand there a little longer. Just feel it. Unconsciously, he moves closer into that hand and rests there. He lets out a half-sigh, half-moan.

 

Tao gasps, snapping his eyes open realizing what he had done.

 

Kris' hand is gone. And Tao won't look up at him. There's this silence in the air that rings in his ears. He feels feverish again. His face is burning up.

 

So Tao makes a stumbling run back to his room and finds safety under his blankets. Hoping this fever of his might burn him into flames and ashes. Or let this be his ill driven figment of his imagination.

 

But after all the chaos, what Tao wants most is to feel that gentle, caring touch again.

 

 

 

 

 

_____________________________________

Author's Note

(Excerpt from 120412 - youku interview)

Tao: He would, for example, if we were ill, he would buy the medicine for us. And if we're resting at home, he'd help us make food and so on.

MC: He even makes food for everyone?

Tao: Yeah.

MC: Just like a big brother.

Tao: Even though it's not a really special meal..

[ Watch moment at 41:13 ]

 

I'm not satisfied, although I'm usually like that with my writing. I actually wrote this chapter while I was having a real fever. I wrote half and passed out then got resurrected again to write the last half. I had to come back to re-edit everything when I was less delirious. It's imperfect, but I hope you all still like it...? O.0

 

 

 

 

 

[ ♥ Adventures of Deer & Bunny ]

 

 

 

 

 

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