Yixing and Kris had odd, searching looks on their faces, as though expecting an extension on what I had been saying but I really had no words. I just needed time to absorb everything.

I unlocked my phone behind the counter, hidden from their view, and played my ringtone. “Oh, sorry,” I apologised, acting as though I had a call coming through. “I’ve gotta take this.” Pressing a button, I walked off to my room, pretending to speak on the phone.

I shut the door, some loud music to avoid eavesdropping and collapsed onto my bed. I fought back the angry tears that clouded my eyesight as I stared at the ceiling.

Why should I cry? I, Lu Han, being of Beijing origin, was too masculine for such an act. It made me angrier, though, that I was so close to crying, making the tears all the more difficult to keep away.

Kris never said a word to me. He never told me about any of this. Yes, he told me Yixing missed me but I never took him seriously. Besides, that wasn’t the big deal here, rather the fact that KRIS WAS DATING YIXING. God knew for how long because I sure didn’t and I was meant to be Kris’ best friend. HA. YEAH. RIGHT.

To just add the cherry on top of this sundae of crappiness, Yixing told me he missed me. Right from the horse’s mouth. What did he even expect me to say to that?! ‘Oh, yeah, I miss you too, let’s be best buds again!’?! Did he not go through the things I did, feel the pain I did, all the regret?

It was too much to compute, too much to handle. Normally in a situation like this, I’d turn to Kris, the one who helped me and healed my heart when Yixing and I had ended things. In that moment, though, I felt utterly alone.

A knock sounded at my door and I ignored it.

“Please, Lu Han, it’s Kris.” Came the younger boy’s desperate plea.

I got up, shaking myself off – literally – before turning the music off and opening my bedroom door a crack.

“What?” I demanded, voice as blunt and with as little inflection as I could manage.

“Can I- Would I be able to come in?”

“What about Yixing?”

“He’s gone home for now.”

I nodded, letting Kris in.

The taller boy sat down on my bed and I sat at my desk. We sat in uncomfortable silence for several minutes as Kris examined the family portrait I had propped up on top of my tallboy while I stared at my hands, silently fuming.

“I’m sorry you found out that way, it wasn’t as gentle as we’d hoped it would be.”

I grunted in reply.

“I know you’re angry, and you have the right to be, but I wanted to tell you, it was just… You’d sealed yourself off from Yixing, how could I even bring it up?”

“I didn’t know you felt anything for him. I knew nothing.”

“Well, I didn’t, definitely not when you two were, you know… but as I grew closer to him recently, I don’t know, it just happened.”

“Huh.” I had no words – nothing was suitable. ‘Oh that’s cool, I don’t even mind anyway’? ‘Well that makes perfect sense and I’m all for it, power to you, bro!’? There was just nothing I could say and actually mean.

It was silent again.

Now that the pieces were sinking in and my brain began to accept the new information as fact, I began to see the logic in what Kris and Yixing had been meaning to do – to get Yixing and I back on friendly territory.

“Is he busy tomorrow?” I found myself asking.

Kris seemed startled. “Uh, I don’t think so.”

“I could go out for lunch with him, just the two of us?”

“Thanks, Lu Han.”

I nodded. “Let me know.”

“I will.” Kris got up and lingered at my door. “I’m sorry, Lu Han. I don’t want to hurt you, I never do.”

“Don’t worry, I know.” I smiled at his sincere words.

I’d lost all my enthusiasm I’d had for the day. Despite it only being 12:07PM, I felt the need for a nap.

I woke up dazed and confused, my thoughts and senses groggy as all awareness of time and place was temporarily lost. Glancing at my phone, I saw the time was 8:16PM and had several messages to reply to.

Wait. 8:16PM?! I had slept for over 8 hours?! Shiiiiiiiiii-

“Lu? You awake?” Kris called before appearing at my door. “Oh, good, you’re up.” He smiled. “I’m about to head off to work soon but Yixing said he’s free tomorrow and he’ll be here at about 12. Sound good?”

“Yeah, okay, wonderful,” I dismissed his question. My foggy brain managed to store away the information for sifting and understanding later. “See ya.”

“Alright, bye.” He paused before closing the door once again.

I lay down again, attempting to rid myself of the disorientating spinning happening in my mind. A small voice in my head noted the sound of Kris driving off to work. Getting up, the dizzying sensations now absent, I headed to the couch to watch some TV, phone in hand.

I felt bad for Kris, working night shifts at the local fire station. He usually worked from 9PM-5AM, sleeping through the day when he got home. It also hit me with a stab of guilt as I realised he’d given up a day of sleep to make me breakfast and tell me about he and Yixing. He’d be dead tired throughout his entire shift and when he got home in the morning and I felt to blame.

In an attempt to shake off these feelings, I texted Minseok.

9:31PM ME: Yo, Baozi, how’s it cracking?

9:32PM BAOZI: You know I hate that nickname with a burning passion -_-;; Nothing’s up, how ‘bout you?

9:32PM ME: Nah, I’m bored out of my brains. Kris left for work and I only just woke up from a longer-than-planned nap. I know you love being my little Boazi, no matter what you say ;)

9:33PM BAOZI: I’m coming over, hang on. Argh, I give up. 3 years later and you still call me golden bun! Golden! Golden Bun! Bun!!! It’s ridiculous! -o-”

9:33PM ME: Yes, okay! Good! I had some things to tell you anyway. I’ll see ya.

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I know it's dragging on a bit but it's all about developing some context at this point! Thanks for sticking with this fic though, love you guys <3

My little hiatus starts now, hopefully I'll be back on tuesday at the latest!

Also, fireman Kris. You’re welcome. ;D