Chapter Forty Five

You and Me: We're Dorm Buddies
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I’ve spent the last few hours juggling the soccer ball against the broken brick wall, telling myself that it was all going to be okay.

My mother lay on the hospital bed, clinging on to the last bit of hope. Not exactly the thing I should be doing, knowing that they have just discharged me, about an hour ago. I will never forget that night. Our broken home in which terribly reeked of alcohol. That memory where the wretched man and his accomplice had pricked and punched through my skin. The glass shard. It was all so raw, real and painful. I felt vulnerable. My bones, every single joint of my body clearly remembered the abuse. Every single pain inflicted upon me. The scars will fade one day but the memories wouldn’t.

My heart and mind was hurting.

There were sadness warped around it. I couldn’t recall a single thing that happened before the night. It’s like everything has been erased. Wiped out. Blown away like the wind. I was at the point where the pages in my book had been emptied. The realities I see ended up suffocating me. My mother underwent treatment for her chronic fatigue, my father escaped after I blanked out and there was that image of Byunghun, crying by my side.

There was something missing. All of it. In so many ways, there were chapters in my story that inked itself away. Gone.

Gone, just like that.
 

 

“You don’t remember anything?” Jiyong questioned, trying to catch his breath. He has been running, probably hysteric to see that I have left the hospital bed.

I leapt forward, catching the soccer ball and plainly shrugged. “Nothing. Not at all, Ji.”

“You know you shouldn’t be playing. You’re recovering, In-Na,” he stirred with his words. His eyes were sad. His palm clasped my soccer ball, pulling it towards his body. 

“Do you want me to remember?” I whispered, glancing warily. His eyes were narrowed, bottom lips twitched. “Whatever that happened before that night? Was there anything significant?”

He scrunched up, thinking over his words. I looked into his way with a helpless expression. I didn’t know what to say. I sat cross-legged on the ground where he joined me. Jiyong tried to regain his confidence, unsteadily somehow.

“Let

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CMR_1234
#1
I'm grateful I had the chance to witness this story begin and end before my eyes, and to be able to read it. Not only did these stories perhaps awaken this soul inside me who later on has her eyes opened and saw life and the world differently, then yearned to write; about the uglinesses of everything that exists and doesn't; about anything that revolves around themes of angst and slice of life — it kindled that dreamer in me who failed and made that her fuel to write. This helped me find what creations I wanted to contribute to the world; this was the key to door, the awakening of how later on I would write about miseries and sufferings and pain and struggles, in a way that I can believe only I can do.

Lost Dreamers and Dorm Buddies will eternally hold a very special place in my soul, so will you. Thank you.

And also, thanks to you, I was intrigued enough and watched Amélie which became one of my few favorite films, and, like your stories, hold a dear place in my soul.
kpop23
#2
ahh i've read this like 4 times and every single time i read it i just fall in love more and more!! this is so beautiful and well-written
--bwoyaaaa
#3
Hi there! Coming back to this story after years of being away from this site. I remember following every single chapter of this story and admiring the beautiful cover which I, later tried to kinda copy into making my own cover, but unfortunately failed hahaha
Shinigamirukiasr
#4
Oh my gosh I didn't know this was complete! I used to read this story and loved it, gonna have to reread it all from the very start ♡
kyuack
#5
Chapter 5: I'm new to your story and I'm loving this so much like gosh your writing style is so on point
asiannn_
#6
Chapter 59: truly hope all goes well with both teen top and l. joe. i hope that there won't be animosity between them.
blondesakura
#7
Chapter 59: I love him and truly devastated by this news, because i love his friendship with the other members. but i support him going after his dreams. it must've been really difficult for him.
your story is one of the stories ive kept very special in my heart. i read this when i was very young & starting to learn the hard things and sadness life could bring. now, I'm almost 20 and i've experienced too many painful things that I'm surprised I could still continue living.
I came back here after years of not really active reading fanfics like i used to, just to see your story again. I've lost inspiration, motivation for the past years ( i was lost, because of a difficult phase in my life) , I came here to read your story again , just to feel what i felt years ago . i had sparks of emotions when i read your story. i just wanna say how special your story is to me :") you're really inspiring authornim. thanks for being one of the reasons why i am who i am today .
CMR_1234
#8
Chapter 59: I was very shocked when I saw the news also, but, it's his decision. And if he wants to pursue his dreams, I have nothing against it even though I can't help but be sad since there would be no more ot6 Teen Top like before but I'm very willing to support him no matter what.
I kind of feel nostalgic since I read your fan fiction back on 2012 too. Right when you were just starting to write this and I so agree on what you said, that's what I also thought when I was reading this and maybe that's one of the reasons your work really got me hooked up. Ljoe really does suit the kind of character you wrote. This is a work of art. It's just so, so beautiful. Your writing style is just-- I don't know, I can't explain it in words but you really do have the talent. I think I would always remember the OT6 moments whenever I would read this story and thank you for that. I feel so nostalgiiiiiiiiic, gah. :(