“Myungsoo, go back to the dorm,” I said, terribly shaken, pulling myself away from his chest. “I’ll go to the hospital on my own.”

“I can’t leave you all by yourself,” he raked my hair, bundled up with a pair of sparkling eyes. “Not when you’re like this.”

“I don’t want you to be in trouble. I need you to cover up for my absence.”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Myungsoo lifted my chin, meaning every word he said. “I want to be there for you. Lights, it hurts me. More than you can possibly imagine. I misunderstood you before. I’m not going to let that happen. Ever again.”

I afford a tiny smile, holding on to my backpack. “Misunderstood me? That night?” I thought about the earlier enrolment weeks, where Park Niel and Kim Myungsoo had their ‘emotional, verbal-fight.’ My lips twitched into a snicker, bringing up the topic.

“You were a jerk, Myungsoo.” I pursed my lips, mimicking him. “Let me see. What did you say to Park Niel? Oh right - I told you to leave me alone. My matter, my life, it’s none of your concern, Park Niel. Draw a line from me. You’re from Seoul High. That wretched school for the rich and spoiled. You wouldn’t understand me. Not the slightest bit. Look, soccer player, I remembered every word of your ‘heart confession.’ All too well.”

Myungsoo grazed his skin, looking slightly embarrassed. He stepped forward, eyes creased into moonlights. He was inches away from me, his voice sending chills down my spine. I quivered, trying to move. His stare enveloped me. My eyes casted downwards at his approach.

“Lights erase that line.”

“Do me a favor.”

Myungsoo blinked, his gaze deepened. “You’re not letting that happen? I can’t be there for you?”

“I have to fight this alone.”

Myungsoo broke the eye contact, rummaging his pocket. A single dimple indented to his cheek. I stood, dumbfounded.

What seemed like hours has passed, he gently took my hand, unclenching my fist. I didn’t know what to say, knowing that he has pressed a thing in between my palm. The thing felt cold against my skin. He clenched my fist tight, a look of forlorn traced to his sharp-features. He buried his hands to his pockets, the royal blue backpack strapped to his back. He sketched a few steps back, respecting my decision.

I didn’t foresee that.

“Myungsoo! Wait!” I blinked, my heart racing fast. He didn’t turn back. Times like this, I forget to breathe. It was hard to breathe.

Myungsoo left.

I unclenched my fist, trying to inhale. My eyes wandered to the details of the necklace, letting the words sink into my mindless head. A necklace engraved, with a silhouette of a soccer ball printed on it.

“Lights, you gave me hope.”

Myungsoo’s voice echoed inside my head. Utmost sincerity laced around it. I slumped my shoulders, scrambling to the hospital. My hands pressing the necklace, helplessly trying to regain hope.

“Fight this!” I screamed, shielding myself from the cold night. “You’re such a fool, Park In-Na.”
 

I stepped into the room, unaware that I was in a state of a mess. My eyes met the familiar silhouette, convinced that she was fighting the pain. She didn’t move, the sound of her uneven breathing, brought tears to my eyes. Helpless. Jiyong sat on the armchair, catching on sleep. I was mad at him. I wished that he hadn’t kept this away from me. My heart ached. I didn’t want to create a scene when my mother was suffering. She has been carrying all the burden and pain.

My fingers creased, softly touching the lines on her skin. They were red, horizontal lines on her wrist. Battle scars. Everyday was a life battle for my mother. Her depression and chronic fatigue refused to cease. The state of my family didn’t make it any better.

She has always been a fighter. My head drawn forward, inhaling the smell of my mother. I fou