Daehyun was sitting in the middle of his room on the floor with Youngjae’s laptop and phone on top of his lap. He had spent several hours trying to work out Youngjae’s pin for his phone but he had yet to decode it. Himchan had written down a list of numbers he had already tried but none came to an avail. He had told Daehyun that he only tried to unlock the phone so he could find Daehyun’s number but since he had it, he didn’t bother anymore. But Daehyun wanted to unlock it. He didn’t know why he wanted to since he wasn’t going to read any of the text messages on the phone. He wanted to unlock it because he felt as if it was a puzzle and it kept him occupied from thinking about Youngjae too much.

Himchan had asked Daehyun if he should delete Youngjae’s Facebook account or Tumblr since they were no longer going to be of any use. Daehyun at first thought it was better if he did but when he caught a glimpse of Youngjae’s profile he changed his mind. He figured it was better to leave both accounts open so that people wouldn’t forget him. People could leave their words behind for others to read since he guessed that was what Youngjae had wanted. Daehyun knew that Himchan thought it was rather strange but didn’t second guess him and gave him an awkward embrace before letting him leave.

Daehyun attempted several more numbers on Youngjae’s phone but again it came to no avail. He put it aside and focused on the laptop. He turned it on and listened to it hum underneath his touch. Daehyun trailed a careful finger over the keys and wondered how many endless hours Youngjae had spent on the device talking to him to the wee hours of the morning. Several letters had faded away due to overuse as a smile crept across Daehyun’s face. The letters A, S, D, F, G and H were almost impossible to see. Those were also the letters Youngjae often attacked whenever he got a little too excited.

Youngjae didn’t have a password on his laptop, which was rather surprising since he was often in the hospital. It seemed that he wasn’t worried about anyone stealing his laptop at all. Daehyun was surprised to see a large sticky note the screen. He read over the words quickly.

Daehyun Reminders

·         Free before 8am and after 10pm

·         Comes back in 13 more days!!!

Email Himchan about BYG

Finish math homework (Chapter 8)

Start essay – Environmentally friendly power sources

A constrictive sheath wrapped around Daehyun’s heart as he skimmed over, what seemed to be Youngjae’s to do list. The fact that Himchan was friends with Bang Yongguk didn’t even faze him as knowing the mere fact that Youngjae had been counting down the days until Daehyun returned was heart wrenching.

He didn’t have the heart to close the sticky note so he moved it towards the bottom of the screen so he could no longer read it. Underneath that sticky note he had found another. It was much smaller compared to his to do list. It was a simple quote “The most beautiful things in the world can’t be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”

Behind that quote was a photo of himself with Youngjae, both of them beaming brightly without a care in the world. He remembered taking that photo the first time they had met in person. They both had bubble tea; Daehyun had honey dew whilst Youngjae had green tea. He didn’t know why he remembered something so insignificantly stupid but he did. The memory of it all was enough to summon up another smile across his face and at that moment he understood. He understood how much he had meant to Youngjae. Just like how Youngjae was Daehyun’s world, he was his as well. Youngjae passing was not only a pain he suffered alone, Youngjae too was parted from him.

Even though they weren’t together physically, they were together where it counted the most.

Daehyun shut the laptop and got up to his feet. He heard something fall as he stood and noticed a folded sealed envelope lying by his feet. He hadn’t seen the letter before and it must have fallen out from his pocket but he didn’t recall ever putting it there. He hadn’t seen the envelope in his whole entire life.  

Himchan, he concluded as he thought back to their rather awkward embrace before he left. He must have slipped it in when Daehyun wasn’t paying attention. He picked up the envelope and read his name written in a font that was unlike Himchan’s. Unlike Himchan’s scribbled mess the writing on the envelope was far neater and rounder. Round like the cheeks of the person who wrote it.

Youngjae.

A/N: The quote is from Helen Keller, a deafblind American author. "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."