Can I ask you something?
Special to Me: Fickle Visions
I'm tossing and turning again in the darkness.
I hope I can be saved.
~
I made a promise to myself not to freak out. I kept to it and observed what would happen over the next few days. Each night, Kai still came to the club and got drunk. Each night, I drove him home and he would always find some way to catch me off-guard and plant a kiss.
And each morning he had no memory of it.
I had grown accustomed to the taste of vodka coated lips, that I was puzzled when Soomi's mouth held none of that taste. It was...odd. Not knowing what else to do, I consulted Lay.
It was entertaining, I admit, to see his eyes bulge out and him cough up his drink in shock.
"You what?!" He gasped.
I paused, waiting for him to collect himself, "I keep getting kissed by Kai."
"Ok...wow...just, just...give me a minute..." He trailed off.
After well, several minutes, "Are you gay now?"
I shook my head, "No! I'm not the one initiating anything!"
"Dude, why haven't you punched him? You're ing married..."
I closed my eyes, "Because he's not some random ert Yixing, he's my friend. Besides, he's always wasted. If you saw him whenever we're in the car you'd give him pity too."
"I'm confused, what?"
I sighed, "He completely breaks down. From the bits and pieces I've collected through his ramblings he was in a relationship before, someone with a 'Tae,'and it didn't work out. We need to give him a limit on the drinks from now on, he's in danger of alcohol poisoning."
Lay nodded, "Wait, why is he so broken up over 'Tae'? From what I've seen in the club he flirts with everyone."
I thought for a moment.
"He says he didn't love 'Tae', like he should have. I don't know, but the main problem is every night he finds some way to kiss me and I always fall for the trick! He even followed me back out to my car, pretended to faint, kissed me, and went back inside! And by the next night, he remembers nothing! God, I'm exhausted."
Lay stayed silent, listening to every word.
"Have you told Soomi?"
"Do I look like an idiot?" I asked unbelievably.
"I dunno dude, I'm not the best person to consult with this kind of stuff. At least if you talked with her she would get you out of the club."
"And I would be jobless plus Key would hate me for giving him the extra chore again," I retorted.
Lay shrugged, "Kris then?"
And that was how I ended up in this situation.
"Now, be nice. You'll feel much better once everything's patched up!" Soomi smiled and realigned my coat.
"Why did we have to dress up?" I groaned, even though I was at most just semi-formal.
"Because Kris wanted to see you suffer," she winked and held her stomach, "I think we've got a soccer player in here."
I smiled at her warm tone, it was comforting. Placing a hand on her belly, the soft thumps vibrated into my hand.
"Is she excited?" I asked.
Soomi nodded and leaned out the doorway, "Honey, where are you?"
Sehun walked into our room shirtless, carrying the yellow polo in his hands and throwing it into our closet. It was obvious he didn't like it but we bought it on sale so it couldn't be returned. I sighed and picked it up, again struggling with him to put it back on. I won.
"It's only for today, alright? Just bear with it, ok?" I tried to put up a smile.
Sehun returned it with a poker face. He took out the monster flashlight from his pocket and held it up, like he was the Statue of Liberty.
I laughed for real this time, because he could really do the cutest things.
~
"Gege!"
Tao ran into me so hard I almost fell backwards. With a small smile I held him tightly, I missed him.
Kris appeared in the doorway next, hair pulled back and thick black framed glasses on his face. From the looks of it he was in the middle of his next novel.
"Would you like drink?" He smiled at Soomi and Sehun. She nodded for them, "Lu do ya want a beer?"
"I don't drink anymore," I said dryly. Lips. Kai. Lips.
My brother shrugged, "I'm having one. It makes your wife less pretty so I can hold up a conversation without stuttering."
I rolled my eyes, Kris was one for back-handed compliments. Sehun walked into the house, still in his shoes, and grabbed Kris' index finger. He squeezed it exactly five times and walked further inside.
"I am so sorry, Sehun get back here! Come to Eomma and let her take your shoes off," Soomi quickly shook her slippers off and chased after our kid. I put Tao down so I could take mine off too. He jumped up and down, feeling more energized than normal. Kris had long gone to the kitchen.
"Gege! The profile- it's on the counter! She's so pretty! I can't wait!" Tao spoke so quickly and ran to retrieve the folder from the cover and practically shoved it in my hands, "Look look! I'm so excited!"
I nodded uneasily, rubbing the top of his head in an attempt to calm him down. I opened the large folder and stared at the picture inside. A little girl with red hair.
Kris returned, said beer in hand, and glanced at the folder in my arms.
"Chanyeol's out on the balcony."
There were a lot of things I was prepared for, but this was far from one of them. I approached the glass door with uncertainty, I couldn't see him through it. Finally sliding the door open, I cocked my head to the left and saw him, leaning on the edge with a cigarette in hand.
I timidly stood next to him, glancing in the same direction he was staring at, what was so interesting? Or was I just getting the cold shoulder?
Neither of us spoke for the first few minutes. He was too entranced by whatever it was, puffing out smoke rings every now and then. And I didn't know what to say.
"Can I ask you something?" Chanyeol broke the silence, startling me.
I looked at him and whispered a small, "Yes?"
"What is the whole deal with you and Kris? Even now...ugh it's irritating," And he really was annoyed. He brought the cancer stick to his lips and inhaled deeply.
I fiddled with my hands as I thought of the best way to explain it...
"Kris...Kris always thought I was something that I'm not. I can't explain it any other way. He and I just naturally...disagree."
Chanyeol turned to face me with a scorned look.
"And that's why you reacted so rudely when we told you we wanted a family?"
"I'm sorry," I cut in before he could go on, "I should have stated my opinion in a better way. But I never disapproved of your relationship."
He looked down at me with a hardly amused gaze, "That's why you walked out of our apartment and called him a screw up?"
"You both are too young, you don't understand marriage in the least. Look at you, you're practically a teen! By the time you're my age you'll be wanting other things and-"
"I am going to be very frank, I do not like you. If you were not my fiancé's brother, I would avoid you as much as I could. You've stated your opinion, but we have the option to ignore your advice or take it. You can guess what we're doing right now."
I laughed humorlessly, "What makes you so sure this is the right path for you?"
He tilted his head back, cigarette between his teeth, "You wouldn't understand, you're not in love."
That hurt more than it should have.
"It's useless talking about it now, Kris and I have worked it out over the phone. Do what you want, I'm not your father."
Chanyeol let out a real laugh this time, "Thank god."
We had another minute of silence before I interrupted it.
"Who is 'Tae'?"
"Excuse me?"
"I-I work in a club that Kai goes to. On the nights he's too drunk to drive home, I take him and he keeps...apologizing."
Chanyeol sighed, playing with the cancer stick again.
"So...Kai is back in town."
"Yeah, for a few months now, I think. Who is 'Tae'? His lover?"
The taller man took a deep breath and pressed his cigarette into the ash tray, "Over the course of his life, Kai has had three people he fell in love with. The first was my Auntie."
I choked on my own saliva, "What?"
"Obviously she didn't return his feelings, he was a little kid. The second was some straight guy and the last was...Lee Taemin."
I waited, but nothing more came.
"Is he...dead?"
Chanyeol let out the most horrific laughing face I had ever seen, "What? No! I'm friends with the dude on facebook!"
This guy. Thought he was ready. For marriage.
"Then-wait, what happened?"
Chanyeol shrugged, a serious face back on, "Kai never truly got over the second guy so he broke things off with Taemin. He realized he never treasured Taemin enough as a friend and now he's gone, moved to Japan. I think...Kai just feels lonely."
I nodded, "Thanks. We should-go back inside."
I turned around and screamed bloody murder. Sehun was pressed up against the glass and mirrored the child from The Grudge. With a giggle I chased him around the house and kissed him all over his face.
He kept tracing the letter "D" into my palm. D for "Daddy".
______________________
Hi~
I went to the doctor's today and got blood drawn and an xray for my hip.
I also lost body mass and weight. Like ten pounds. Need to eat healthier! Anyway I had lots of time in the waiting room but I edited a lot tonight.
Going to sleep now! Night!
Comments