Miracle in December
Boundaries of the HeartThe doctor looked at Kris, "I'm sorry, I am unable to do that."
Kris scoffed, "That man is going to die unless I give my heart to him." He inhaled deeply, "Doctor," he roughly addressed, "I am type O blood and as far as I know I am compatible with any other blood type."
"I am aware of that, however it doesn't matter if your blood is compatible with Mr. Kim's, I can't take your heart and give it to him. You are alive therefore you cannot donate any major organs such as your heart; it is illegal and unethical."
Kris raked his hands through his hair then turned to the doctor, "This man is in life threatening condition. Please doctor, give my heart to him!"
"The only way you can donate your heart to him is if you're terminally ill or deceased." The doctor looked at Kris, "And from looking at you, it looks that you are more than healthy."
Kris felt his spirit fall. After all this time, Joonmyun was the only man who made Yirin feel truly happy. If Joonmyun died, then a part of her would die also. She wasn't happy with him, she was happy with Joonmyun. Perhaps he'd been to dumb to realize, maybe it was just his pride blinding the truth from him, but now it was evident to him.
"Also, there was no reason for you to donate anyway."
Kris looked at the doctor, "What?"
The doctor looked at him, "We just found a donor for him."
His eyebrows crinkled, "Who else would have donated in such a short amount of time?"
Kyungsoo stopped once he saw Yirin hunched over and crying with her hand on her chest. He murmured her name then ran to her. He got on his knees and hugged her for the first time. "Sh," he soothed, "It'll be okay."
She remained motionlessly crying, "It was too soon, Kyungsoo. Too damn soon."
His face soured, not wanting to cry. He gently pat her back, "At least we spent our time well."
She shook her head and leaned away from him, "It wasn't enough time, though." She said a bit louder this time. Yirin sighed in a regretful tone"I love him so much, I always did. I don't know why it took me so long to realize but he was always the one for me. Even when Kris came along, Joonmyun was always somehow on the back of my mind. I don't know if it was guilt eating at me, but he was there." Her lips quivered, "But now the man who I love so much and was always patiently waiting for me is about to die yet I can't do anything about it." She shook her head, "I'm such an idiot, why couldn't it be me instead?"
Kyungsoo's lips formed a strong line, "Don't say that. It doesn't matter how awful things get, you should never wish something as terrible as a disease upon yourself." Kyungsoo felt footsteps nearing him. He looked up besides him and saw the doctor approaching them. He stood up, "How's my friend?"
The doctor smiled, confusing Yirin. "Why is he smiling?" She lowly asked herself. "What going on?" She asked aloud.
"There has been a donor for Mr. Kim." The doctor pat them on the arm, "He will be undergoing the operation as soon as things have settled down."
Yirin and Kyungsoo stared at the doctor, almost not believing the man. "A donor? Already?" Yirin exhaled a smile, "So he's going to live?"
The doctor smiled, "If it goes well, which it shall, then you may visit Mr. Kim once he wakes up and has gained enough rest."
Yirin hugged the doctor, "Thank you so much, doctor!" She turned to Kyungsoo, "Joonmyun's going to live!"
Kyungsoo smiled but couldn't help but find it odd how Joonmyun was offered a heart so quickly. He was no doctor or anyone from the medical profession, obviously, but he had some knowledge of things like this. Usually there was a waiting list filled with patients so there was no way Joonmyun's turn was up so fast.
After hours of waiting and relentless pacing around the hospital halls, the operation still wasn't over. Kyungsoo insisted that Yirin get some rest, but she refused.
"It's the holiday season, you should at least go visit some relatives," he told her.
Yirin shook her head, "Joonmyun's the only person I have left." She sat down next to him, "Without Joonmyun, I'll be completely alone."
The doors opened and the doctor walked to them. Both stood up to greet the doctor. He pulled his mask down and smiled. He put his hands on his hips, "The operation was a success."
Kyungsoo sighed from relief. Yirin felt tears of happiness blur her vision, "Thank you so much," she thanked in a soft whisper.
"May we know the identity of the donor?" Kyungsoo asked.
"Usually, that type of information is confidential. However, the donor allowed us to give out their information."
Yirins eyes lit up, "Who was it?"
The constant beeping from the monitors and the sound of the busy equipments occupied the room. It didnt help that the sun was glaring directly into the white room. Never has he felt so weak before. Even opening his eyes was tiring. He heard the clacking noise of a woman's heels slowly pace around him and scribbling down information on a wooden clipboard. He opened his eyes and felt disoriented and a little confused by his surrounding. His brain gathered itself together in a very linear fashion stopping to recognize each discreet element of his situation one at a time. Even as it comprehended that there was a tube running down his throat, it still couldn't immediately connect the ideas into the thought "I'm in the hospital and I just had surgery". Joonmyun wasn't in any kind of panic exactly, and as the sounds and feeling began to coalesce, everything was like a dreamy, sleepy march toward cognition. Joonmyun groaned a bit once the pain of immense fatigue struck him.
Minrin looked at looked up from her clip board, "Good morning, princess." She said with a soft smile. She put her pen in her pocket of her white coat. "You've been out for three days now." She smiled and pointed at the mini Christmas tree decoration at the stand next to the hospital bed, "Merry Christmas."
He tried to respond, but was unable to. Minrin helped him by gently taking out the breathing tube from his mouth. Joonmyun took a deep breath by himself, "I'm alive?" He said in a raspy voice, "But how?"
Minrin poured him a cup of lukewarm water. She handed him the small cup of water, "Drink this, slowly." She advised. Once he finished she held a much more serious look on her face, "There was a donor on spot," she explained. He had a soft bewildered look on his face. "Actually, your donor wanted you to watch a video that they made for you." She walked to the cabinets and grabbed a small laptop. "I'm not sure if it's too early to tell you about this, but your donor requested you to watch it as soon as you woke up." She put the laptop on the eating table. "I'll leave you now." She exited the ICU room and closed the curtains all the way.
Joonmyun looked at the laptop wondering who the donor could be. Whoever it was, he knew he had to pay back his or her family back somehow in the greatest way possible. He the laptop and already the video had popped up. He pressed play and the black screen showed an empty white room. The person sat in their seat and Joonmyun's eyes slowly enlarged.
"Hello Joonmyunnie , it's mommy."
Joonmyun looked at his mother and saw how her head was bald instead of it's usually big and voluminous thickness. Already, he felt a pang hit his heart. Had she been sick all along?
She dryly chuckled, "A family full of diseases, how burdensome." She looked at the camera, "As you can probably see, I don't look so great...Weak actually." She sighed and forced a smile, "Last year, I found out that I had Stage 4 Cancer. I refused to take chemo so I went to Thailand instead to get treatment and therapy from a shaman there. The fact that I am able to sit here and talk to the camera is a miracle."
She looked so exhausted. It was strange for Joonmyun to see his strong and prideful mother look so fragile. He never realized how skinny she looked also. She was in a hospital gown unlike her designer dresses and clothing. She was somewhat slouching where her collar bones were most prominent in sulken in between the bumps of her chest bone. Without her large necklaces or extravagant jewelries, she looked extremely malnourished and ill. Her neck sagged with the excess skin from losing so much weight and the width of her body was so incredibly petite. They had removed her make-up so the bags under her eyes were visible and her skin was a sickly pale with splotches of green. Joonmyun couldn't help but tear up from seeing his mother's condition. Without her luxurious attire and voluptuous hair, his mother didn't even looked like a cancer patient—she looked near death.
"Maybe it was too much for me to want to see you before my own time came also. I'm sorry if you felt imprisoned by me, but that was the only way I'd get you to see me. Even if you locked yourself in your room the entire day, it reminded me of when you were a teen." Tears spilled down as she spoke, "And I felt like I was taking care of my stubborn Joonmyunnie, the kid who doesn't like geometry because 'shapes are dumb and shouldn't be calculated'," she mimicked in a deeper voice. "Remember how you'd lock yourself then sneak out at midnight to get something to eat? You still do that, and I'm glad I was there to see it once again. I know you think I'm bad and wicked for trying to tear you and Yirin apart, but you have to understand my own circumstances too, Joonmyun. I didn't have much time left and my son was in a troubled marriage. I didn't have any grandchildren to call me grandma at least once. I didn't want to leave seeing you unhappy. Instead I wanted to leave knowing you were assured and healthy, so I gave you my heart; the only healthy organ in this sick body of mine."
Joonmyun's clashed together tightly trying to keep the pain in, forcing himself to be strong.
"Remember Joonmyun, I did this for a mother's love for her own child. I know that you love Yirin. You two proved it to me from the time I stepped in that hospital. Live your life well and don't waste time stressing on the little things. Show the people you love that they are important to you. Be the good kid that your father and I raised you to be. You always make me proud, Joonmyun." She smiled tearfully, "Merry Christmas, sweetie. Mommy loves you."
Joonmyun cried in his arms hysterically. He replayed the video:
"Merry Christmas, sweetie. Mommy loves you."
He rewinded:
"Mommy loves you."
And over and over again he would replay that little phrase just to hear his mother's voice again. The one phrase he didn't get to hear in person and the one thing he didn't say to his mother: I love you.
He stopped replaying it and cried to himself. Joonmyun clutched his mother's heart inside of him and sobbed even harder. Every moment that he spent in that house with her was spent worthlessly. He brought his elbows up and covered his face with his arms. Even though the pressure of the pain from the operation still lingered, the emotional pain was something that couldn't have been defeated.
"Mom," he choked out with a tight voice,"I'm—I'm so sorry." He shook his head, "I'm sorry for being such a terrible son to you."
Yirin, in the most protective coat, gloves, and mask provided by the hospital, peaked through the thin curtain and saw Joonmyun in his hunched position crying aloud to himself, replaying the scene over and over again. She pulled the sliding door open and quickly sat next to him. Pulling him in a hug, she shut the laptop, "Don't do that to yourself, it will only hurt more." She rocked him side to side; head on top of his and arms warmly wrapped around him. Yirin bit her quivering lip and felt her eyes tingle, about to cry herself. "She's gone but at peace."
Wow! 27 comments on that previous chapter! I was so happy, please give this little author-nim more comments and upvotes juseyo! [cringes at mah Korean] P.S. This chapter wasn't as great as I envisioned it to be...
It wasn't Kris...it was Mama Kim
011115| Boundaries of the Heart has 1004 subscribers #MissYouBAP lol okay continue with your day. Thank you guys and I love you!
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