(Taemin’s p.o.v)

After I realized what I had done to the unconscious, unsuspecting, defenceless leader of mine, I could not stay on his bed and face him when he woke up. I could not even face myself. What had gotten into me? Since when was molesting people in their sleep was my speciality? All my blood rushed to my cheeks and it felt like burning. Maybe if I was really on fire, it would have felt much, much better. I wouldn’t have to carry on the guilt of doing what I did.

Though I knew what I did was wrong and I should not have done that but I could not help but feel good. His lips felt right against mine, tasted right on my tongue, his breath on my skin belonged there. I belonged there, in his embrace, totally and utterly lost in him. If only by a miracle he would just wake up and fall in love with me at the first sleepy glance. Truth of the life was though that it was no fairytale and people did not just randomly fall in love after the first kiss or first glance. He would not fall in love with me like the way I wanted him to be, I wasn’t going to have my happily ever after in a castle far, far away, neither was I going to get my prince Charming.

I cautiously pulled myself away from him and quietly headed out of his room. Taking a last glance at the now sleep-smiling hyung still lost in his dream land from the door frame and walked blindly off to wherever my feet took me.
The dorm’s resident dino’s grumbling stopped me from almost bumping into the shorter guy. I quickly backed away and mumbled a quiet apology. I was about go around him and keep on walking but he stopped me and dragged me off with him.

‘Let’s play video games. We need some appa-ayegi bonding time, don’t ya think? You barely ever have time for me anymore.’

I did not even have the energy or willpower to say no to him so I just let myself be dragged by him but no matter how much I tried, I just could not concentrate on anything except from what I had done. What would Jinki hyung do, if he found out that I did that to him? How would he react? Would he ignore me? What would he do? These questions kept on circling around in my head like a tornado and umma probably noticed that and came to my rescue.

‘Yah dino! Bummie wants some ice-cream….go and get it…’ He whined in his horribly fake baby voice. At first Jonghyun tried to shake off him with,

‘There’s some in the fridge, go and eat it if you want.’

But umma was not that easy, he kept on whining,

‘Bummie wants cookie dough ice-cream but there’s only vanilla in the fridge. Won’t you get Bummie his cookie dough ice-cream? He crawled up to the unsuspecting appa and slid on his lap and wrapping himself around Jjong.

‘Bummie will love you forever if you get Bummie his ice-cream he cooed on the other’s ear. If I wasn’t busy contemplating how to repent for my sins, I would have gagged, covered my eyes and ears or ran away from the room shouting, ‘Get a freaking room.’  But I was and so I just sat there staring blankly at the screen as Key not-so-subtly seduced Jonghyun hyung into doing his bidding. Once appa had left he turned around to me and tried to put on his serious tone,

‘What’s wrong now, Minnie? What has the stupid old man done to my baby?’ He tried to scoot closer to me but I moved away. I wasn’t that into skin-sip right after I had single handedly molested one of my hyungs, I just could not go closer to anyone. Key umma did not like it; he didn’t like it at all. A grown from deep within him rumbled up his throat and by the time it left, he was almost in the verge of leaping towards hyungs room. He probably would have if I hadn’t stopped me with my sobs.

‘Umma don’t. He didn’t do anything. It was me, it was all my fault. How am I gonna face him from now on? Oh god, what if he finds out? It will be the end of everything...it will be the end of me.’ Key was beside me in seconds and pulled me in his embrace. No matter how much I tried to squirm out of his grasp, his hold on me was strong.

‘What did you do, Minnie?’ His voice was so soothing and so understanding that before I knew it, I was spilling my gut. I told him about every detail from waking up in hyung’s embrace and thinking that it was a dream to caressing him and last but not the least in anyway, the fact that I kissed him.

‘He looked so angelic and unnaturally beautiful umma. I seriously thought that it was a dream. If I knew that it was actually him, the real living, birthing, very much human him, I would not have done that. I practically molested him umma, I should not be let free around him….maybe I should just leave until I learn to control myself.’ I cried in his arms.

‘Yah! Lee Taemin! How dare you say that? Don’t tempt me to beat you, coz I will if that means that I get these nonsensical thoughts out of your head! What the hell! You’re getting that worried over a small little kiss! He didn’t even realize it…’

‘But..Umma…I still molested him.’ I was a bit scared by this scary tone; it was the tone he used on Jinki hyung that morning, when he found us sleeping together. My sobbing started to get louder and I started shaking in his arms. That mellowed him down a bit.

‘Shh..It’s not your fault Minnie. It happens…you are just deeply in love with him. It’s definitely not your fault. So, don’t worry. Just forget about it…he was sleeping anyway right? I have kissed Jjong in his sleep hundred times…you don’t see me going around crying do you?’ He offered me a smile.

I wasn’t really surprised at the kissing Jjong hyung bit, after all, it was obvious that both of them loved each other but with us it’s different. Hyung didn’t like me back. Heck there isn’t even an ‘us’ to begin with.

‘Minnie, seriously! Don’t worry about it. Dubu won’t even realize it and it’ll all be fine…’ He tiled my head up and wiped away my tears with his fingers.

‘I will teach the Dubu to not to seduce my Minnie anymore.’ He murmured under his breath, not intended for my ear but I heard nonetheless.

‘No, umma don’t do anything to hyung.’ I got worried, umma’s wrath was too much for the soft leader and he did not deserve it anyway.

‘Oh, don’t worry...I won’t do anything to him….not really…now let’s go…I need to make dinner. You go sit in my room and read magazines or do your homework or something, ne?’ His voice was saying something but his eyes, well they were telling a totally different story.

‘Umma promise me that you won’t do anything to hyung.’ I begged him. He grumbled but at the end he said,

‘I promise....’ he muttered something under his breath but I could not catch it properly but he promised right? And Ummas usually kept their promises to their babies, right?

WRONG?

I was wrong to believe him. I could not believe how mean he was to hyung during dinner, he was too cruel. I don’t know what he did to hyung’s food but it must have been something horrible because I had never seen hyung that angry in my whole life except from that one time Minho accidentally ate his last piece of chicken. Key umma didn’t even say sorry when hyung’s anger burst out, instead he was screaming at him. He was blaming him for something he didn’t even know and it was all my fault. I could not take it anymore and shouting out whatever came to my mind I stormed off to manager hyung’s room. I needed some time to myself, I needed some time alone.

I probably shouldn’t have told Key umma about how I kissed hyung while he was sleeping and how much I regretted doing that. It seemed to have added fuel to the fire of hatred that umma harboured for hyung since he had found out about my unrequited love for him. I didn’t know why umma was blaming hyung for all the mistakes I had done. I mean it’s not like its hyung’s fault that I fell for him and could not even control my feelings around him.

All the fighting, all the shouting and all the meaningless ‘revenge’ were so childish and it was all because of me. Hyung was suffering because of me. I could not take it anymore. Maybe I should just go away and everything will turn back to normal. Key umma will reconcile with hyung and hyung would not have to be molested by anyone in his sleep, yeah that’s what I should do.

As I sat on manager hyung’s thinking about all these things, I realized that I was the cause of the sudden unrest in the Shinee dorm. Everyone was having a hard time getting along because of me. So, maybe if I wasn’t here everything would turn back to normal? Though it crushed my heart to even think about leaving them, I could not be selfish. I had to leave, for their own sakes. If I was gone, umma wouldn’t have any reason to hate hyung and hyung would be safe as well. It was a win-win situation from every angle and I had to do it. I should leave after all of them had gone to sleep; yes that’s exactly what I should do. That was exactly what I was going to do.

For hyung… For umma….For Shinee….

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OH NOES!!! Taemin's gonna run away :O :O :O

I don't even know where I am going with this anymore LOL

And to save all my subscribers and readers from this terrible...totally unplanned story..I have decided to finish in in the next 2-3 chapters YAY!

(One less story to worry about :P)

And with this I'll bid adieu for tonight :)

Love you all and your uberly lovely comments <3

(oh god i miss hangeng so much :'( )