(taemin’s p.o.v)

‘Umma, you have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone about this, and I mean NO ONE.’ I pouted at the figure next to me, in the verge of hyperventilating. I could tell that he was finding it hard to except that I liked Jinki hyung. Well I kinda understand how he felt. I mean damn, even I could not believe that I liked the dubu leader either. Oh god my stupid…stupid heart. Why did it have to be a band member? And since when did I start liking guys? Okay, true that I never really found any girls particularly attractive but neither did any guy attract my attention. I mean I have seen my fair share of attractive guys; I’ve even been to public bath houses without any troubles.

‘Tell me…has Jinki been trying to seduce my little baby? God! I’m gonna beat the out of him…just let him come home..’ Key’s ramblings pulled me back to reality, Oh my god, knowing him he’d really beat Jinki hyung up and then he would know that I have a crush on him and then he’ll be all disgusted by me and then he’ll really start ignoring me.

‘ANDWAE UMMA….You can’t let Jinki hyung know….I won’t be able to face him…oh go…kill me now…’ I cried out exasperatedly. ‘Promise me umma….you won’t tell Jinki hyung…please.’ I could not help it, a tear rolled my eyes. I didn’t care how pathetic I looked or sounded, the only thought going through my mind was that what if the others found out about my little secret. I looked up at Key, pulling the best puppy-dog face I could master. It always worked.

‘Oh god…you’re serious about this aren’t you?’ He sighed, calming down a bit.

Okay maybe the situation can be saved without any deaths. To be honest I was contemplating about either killing umma so he won’t tell anyone or just kill myself so that I wouldn’t have to face Jinki hyung, Seems like I won’t have to take any such exaggerated measures.

I nodded, my eyes pleading him. He just shook his head.

‘So, when, why and how?’ He asked.

‘I don’t even know…I didn’t even realize until you said it.’ I sighed and started fiddling with the hem of my shirt, unable to face umma’s inquiries.

‘Okay, so what are you gonna do about it? Clearly you don’t plan to anytime soon? So what are you planning to do?’

‘Nothing! Just..nothing. Forget about it umma. I don’t wanna ruin our relationship…’ I quickly replied.

‘But…you love him Tae baby. And if you love him, you should confess…no matter how much I dislike the idea. It’s the only right thing to do…if you keep it bottled up you’re only gonna get hurt.’ He placed a hand over my fidgeting one and squeezed it reassuringly.

Okay this is just weird! This wasn’t how he was supposed to react! He should’ve blown up, shouting and screaming at me for crossing the line and such. He should have tried to change my mind…. Why was he being so understanding?

‘you should confess…..and if stupid dubu knows what’s best for him he’d accept…’ he muttered the last part under his breath but I heard him.

Okay this wasn’t good. The way umma’s eyes are glinting was evidence enough that he’s blaming hyung for all of this and that wasn’t good. I don’t want Jinki hyung to die a painful death because of my stupid, uncontrollable emotions. I have to do something…quick.

‘I’m not ready yet… let me think about this. I’m not even sure if I really like him or not. So, let me have some time to sort out my feelings  ... ne? And promise me that you won’t act any different until then.’ I begged him.

‘Please, if you really love me you’d do this for me.’ My eyes were tearing up again.

Seeing my trembling lips and watery eyes, Umma’s expression softened and he wrapped his arms around me.

‘Okay baby..okay. Just don’t cry. I don’t want to see my baby cry..’ I secretly smiled at that.

Okay so maybe I was just pretending to cry but trust me it was for a good cause.

After lots of hugs and umma feeding me the sandwich he brought, he finally left to my own thoughts. My mind was still on Jinki hyung though, still wonder what he was doing and stuff. I had it bad! How am I gonna supress this feeling and what about the promise I made with umma? Sure I bought myself some time but it still bothered me. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to express this to hyung and umma will definitely interfere if I take too much time. I was in a mess.

I sighed and got up. Taking small cautious steps, I went next to his bed and picked up the hoodie he was wearing before he left. Placing my face on it, I took a deep breath taking in his sweet intoxicating smell. It wasn’t enough. I needed more. I slowly laid down on his bed, my whole being enveloped by his scent. It felt dizzyingly good and before I knew it my eyelids drooped.

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A very small chapter...the next one will be longer..I promise.

Thanks for reading <3