title: holes insode

pairing: kai/krystal

words: 659

summary: Soojung has never asked for much but she receives more anyway.

Jongin likes Soojung for a lot of things. He likes her because she’s beautiful, even when she is covered in sweat and her hair is a tangled mess. He likes her for her skills. She never tries too hard to look talented—she has always been born with immense power and ability to do anything. He likes her because she is strong and she gives her all despite the criticisms thrown at her. Soojung is also nice and has a wry sense of humor and she loves kids and Soojung is just crazy wonderful and Jongin is glad she is alive.

Still despite her many achievements and her strong bravado, Jongin cannot help but protect Soojung. He wants to shield her eyes from the wicked ways of the world, cover her ears from the malicious comments and take her to a place where she can be free from judging eyes. He wants her to smile, laugh, cry and feel safe.

She has accomplished so much at her young age and she should be proud but Jongin knows it leaves a scar every time. That every time she climbs a mountain and overcomes it, another one towers over her and she knows she needs to go over it but she doesn’t want to because she’s tired, and she just wants to rest. Soojung has never asked for much but she receives more anyway.

She once told him that she never wanted to be a celebrity, never wanted to be in the limelight. All she ever wanted to do was to study politics, take Law and maybe get married at a young age. She wants to go out and be open and not feel pressured about being pretty, being perfect, being Krystal. She hates being Krystal. Being Krystal meant early mornings, extra hard work and following the rules. Soojung was never the type to follow rule anyway. 

“But what about me? You would have never met me if you weren’t where you are,” he huffs, crosses his arms and pouts.

She laughs, covering with her hand while swatting him in the arm playfully with the other. Jongin likes her laugh too. “Kim-Jo-Ngin,” she enunciates every syllable and Jongin adds that to his growing list of What He Likes About Jung Soojung. “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”

Jongin is about to , tell her that her life would be boring without him and that she will feel void without him and all the reasons why she wouldn’t be happy without him. But she blinks and blinks again. Her eyes water and soon she’s tearing up, she can’t say anything and Soojung is crying. Soojung is crying and she’s trying not to but the tears fall silently and Jongin really hates it.

“Soojung, Soojung,” is all he gets to say when she breaks and the sound of her breaking, jagged, irregular and shaky, creates a hole in Jongin’s heart. He has never seen her cry like this, never seen her so damaged.

Jongin cannot take it. He reaches out for her, and so does she, and he holds her tight, unwilling to let go, never going to let go. His assurances of everything will be alright fall short in silence for Soojung’s whimpers are loud, louder than she has had ever been. And this, this beaten Soojung is something Jongin does not like.

So he hugs her tighter, brushes his lips on her hair and whispers her promises he will keep, because Jongin is a man of his word. And she holds unto him in response, holds him as if he is life itself and maybe he is the only life she will ever know.

(Jongin promises that he will fill in the gaps inside her, fill the holes with pieces of his own. Jongin will break his own heart to fix hers because Jongin knows deep inside that he doesn’t like Soojung; he loves her.)