title: before i let you go

pairing: tao/krystal

words:

summary: sequel of this.

Tao dies again and again and again every time he sees her. Ever since he became an official SM trainee, all he had been doing in the company was to train, train, train. He has seen her in the passing moments of break and transferring rooms ‘so the hoobaes can make way for the sunbaes’. These brief encounters always takes Tao’s breath away as he grows fond of his little angel (he bestows this nickname for her the first night he discovered her name. Luhan tells him he’s creepy.)

When Baekhyun, who is a trainee like he is and his closest friend, discovers of his little crush for Krystal, he intervenes one day and introduces him to her. Baekhyun and Krystal aren’t really close but somehow she stops by them when he calls her and motions her to come.

Her eyes are big and round and Tao takes a deep breath in order to not drown in them.

“Krystal,” Baekhyun starts, grinning.

She nods in reply.

“How are you? Is your schedule done already?”

Again, she nods. Tao has to stop himself from asking if she was mute. Because the last time he saw her, she had been singing. (It was yesterday. He was watching a music show. The hyungs about stalking her. He tells the hyungs he hadn’t waited for their performance and was just passing by when he was channel surfing. Even if he had turned the TV off after she had performed.)

Baekhyun then starts to gesture his hand to him. “Ah, by the way, this is Tao. He’s new.”

When her attention shifts to him, Tao gulps. His palms sweat and he can feel the tip of his ear growing warm. He tries to smile, though he is sure it is crooked and frightening. He had never been one to smile beautifully.

She gives no motion of his smile and quietly whispers a, “Hello.”

“I—Tao. Hello, yeah,” he mumbles. He knows his Korean is a bit broken and he’s not sure if she understood. “Umm, Korean. No.”

Somehow it makes her smile, his broken Korean. Though it is not really a smile, just a tilt on the corner of her lips.  Tao feels his heart drop. “Okay.”

He doesn’t notice her waving and only when she has said her bidding, does he snap back to reality. “I’m going. Goodbye.” It is too late to say to say his farewell so he settles for a slight wave (even if she doesn’t see it).

This is one of the best moments of his life.

While being a trainee is hell, Tao enjoys every bit of it. He has learned to wake up at God knows how early and he has learned to stay awake late. He meets his new friends and hangs out with them. His Korean is not as bad as the incident with Minseok hyung (calling him oppa was a mistake. A mistake he will have to live for the rest of his trainee days and maybe even debut) as well.

But what Tao enjoys the most is seeing her at 10:15 in the morning lobby with her no makeup face and lose black scarves wrapped around her pretty little face. She doesn’t say hello or acknowledge his existence but he is satisfied by watching her from afar. Sehun tells him, who is somehow acquainted with Krystal (Tao doesn’t hate him. He’s not jealous of him) that he is a creep and he has no life. Tao tells him he would shove his pretty little head on the dump if he didn’t shut up.

Wu Fan tells him that Krystal will never notice him. Wu Fan is Tao’s favorite gege but sometimes he can be painfully frank. Many months have passed since he started liking her, since they’ve been introduced but she had never once greeted him or whatever. Not that they would have a chance. They live in two different worlds. He is just starting out as a trainee and she is already a star. Tao knows he can never pluck a star out of the night sky.

Tao may be a romantic but he is not delusional.

So he decides that it would be better to let her go, even if she wasn’t his in the first place. He feels dejected to do such a thing. She has been one of his longest crush ever and to let his feelings fade away seem such a waste… unless he confess?

Tao writes her a letter then, and tells her that she is like life and death to him, that she has stolen his breath from first sight but has given him life, so much life that she has become one of the reasons why he smiles or why he works hard. She has become the star he dreams to be, the dream he has envisioned—she has become everything but his. But that’s alright, he writes with a smile, because she has motivated him to work better and be better and he is not bitter at all. In the end, he tells her that this little crush of his had helped him a lot and he hopes that this wouldn’t make things awkward for them in the future. He smiles one last time, closes the envelope and hands his love letter to Amber the next day.

(A week later, they become friends. A year later, they stand together on stage as friends.)

A/N:

have you guys ever noticed the kilometer long titles i give? i swear it's becoming really cheesy.

anyway, i just wanted to finish this one because it's been sitting in my files far too long and i had already forgotten what the ending was supposed to be. i'm sorry if it sounded really incoherent--i'm just really sleepy (+ talking to  somber, you get a special mention because you're a special kid). as for my other fics, i'll update really soon! it's semestral break after all so pleny of time to write and be lazy! :D

also i'm off hiatus

for now lol

enjoy~