I woke up in a church wearing nothing but black clothing. It was empty. Two closed caskets rested on the steps at the very front of the church. I ran towards them for I knew who were in them.

“Mom! Dad!” I collapsed onto my knees before them. I wailed and wailed until I could not wail anymore.

“Why?” I yelled at the top of my lungs. “Why?” I whispered as I continued to let my tears fall.

“Don’t cry Hana.” An all too familiar voice spoke from behind. I turned around and saw my parents standing before my very eyes. I lunged towards my parents and hugged them as tight as I could, hoping that they won’t go away.

“You guys are alive?” My voice was coated in hope and desperation. “I’m sorry but no.” My dad patted my head. “B-but you guys are here… aren’t you?” They looked at me with such sadness that more tears started to fall. “This is just a dream. A figment of your imagination.” I cried some more

“Didn’t I tell you to stop crying? So stop it.” I could only nod as my mom wiped away my tears with her thumb.

“I’m so sorry.” I said through a cracking voice. My parents didn’t understand. “What do you mean? We’re sorry for leaving you without saying goodbye.” My dad held onto my hand, as did my mom with the other.

“I’m sorry for neglecting myself. I gave you a lot of stress because of my anorexia. I’m sorry for resorting to suicide. I’m sorry I could not become the strong Hana that you wished me to be. I’m sorry for being such a pain in the . I’m sorry for making you worry. And I’m sorry for being such a useless daughter.” I felt guilty for what my parents had to go through because of me, because of my selfishness.

“There is nothing to be sorry about…” I was bewildered. “Huh?” I was… huh? This was an unexpected response. I looked up to see such warm pairs of eyes gazing at me. “What?”

“Well look at that. We seem to be disappearing.” True to what my dad said, their bodies were slowly becoming transparent. “Wait! You can’t go!” I could not let them go, not yet.

“We can’t, you have to wake up now.” The church started to crumble. “No!” I screamed. “Our time is up… Just know that you weren’t a useless daughter. We loved you so much.” I started to cry. “I told you to stop crying… Now promise us that you’ll be strong in the future. Promise us that you won’t continue living this horrid life. Promise us that you’ll recover from your disorder. Promise us that you’ll live your life to it’s fullest. Promise?” My parents held out their pinky fingers. “Bu-“ “No buts, you have to promise us or we won’t rest in peace.” “I-I promise.” I intertwined our pinky fingers. With one last embrace I woke up.

“I promise…”

I was released from the hospital a couple of days after the failed suicidal attempt. I came home to nothing. I wasn’t greeted by my parents after entering. I was greeted by a lonely silence. My heart skipped a beat knowing that I will never see them. Water started to well in my eyes. Be strong. Be strong. I chanted. I closed my eyes but memories of them kept popping in and out of my head. I clenched my fist as I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. I breathed in and out to control myself. My breathing started to waver. For mom and dad. Do not cry you crybaby! A stray teardrop fell from eye. I quickly wiped it away with the back of my hand. Soon they overflowed and continued to spill. My hands could not dry them nor wipe, as they were wet from the previous spilt tears. My lips trembled and I lost myself. I ran up the stairs and plopped myself onto my parents bed. I cried and hugged the pillows, as it was the closest thing that would bring me to my parents. I cried myself to sleep.