It has been 6 years after their separation. 5 years they didn’t meet and contact each other. Things happen and life still goes on. That’s what proverb said. It’s true. He should move on and continue his life. It’s not like the world would end when someone you love leave you.

Eric walked on the streets, head down and gaze on his paper cup of coffee as his mind randomly filled with unnecessary things. He sipped his coffee slowly, trying not to burn his mouth and continue walking. He’s not concern with many people whom walking in the same road as him. 

He bumped into someone and accidentally spilled his hot coffee on the certain person shirt. The guy cried out in pain and Eric quickly helped the person up without looking. “Sorry” Eric simply said as handed the person his handkerchief. Eric looked up and their eyes met.

“Eric?”
“Hyesung?”

“My fault… I- I’m so sorry. Is it hurt?” Eric asked panicky when he realized he just bumped his lovely ex-boyfriend old friend. Eric expected a yell, since Hyesung such a whiner but instead, he shook his head and smiled. “Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal.” Hyesung said and cleaned his stained shirt with Eric’s handkerchief. “No, it’s a big deal. My apartment is not far from here. You should change your cloth” Eric offered. Hyesung glanced up then looking back to his shirt. “I’m pretty sure I have a smaller shirt for you. Come on follow me” Eric said jokingly. Hyesung shook his head and smiled. Then he walked after Eric.

“So, how’s life?” Eric asked, winced as he realized how horrible his question was. They haven’t meet for… 5 years maybe and all he could ask is that? Eric sighed and palmed his face. Hyesung chuckled at Eric action. “It’s pretty nice I think” Hyesung replied. “How about you? He asked back. “Me? I think I’m doing good now” Eric replied. Hyesung nodded awkwardly. And they’re silent again.
 

“So, this is my apartment. You can go straight to the bathroom over there while I’m preparing your cloth” Eric said as soon as they arrived at his place. Hyesung looked around. The apartment is not too big but it’s cozy. Kinda messy but very neat at certain places. Yes, he remembers that Eric is a messy person but really treasure something he loves. It’s weird, but he just likes to be clean, tidy, and organized on what he loves. Hyesung clearly remember when he accidentally put Eric’s comic not in order and that’s made Eric mad for a week. He had to treat Eric a romantic dinner at a quite expensive sashimi restaurant. And that spent a lot of his saving. Since that day, Hyesung never dare to touch Eric’s stuff ever again.

“Hyesung, why are you still here? What are you day dreaming about?” Eric patted Hyesung’s shoulder and that’s brought him back to the reality. “We- well, nothing. I’m going to the bathroom now” Hyesung snatched the t-shirt and towel from Eric’s hand and run to the bathroom. Eric just looked at Hyesung’s back longingly. He sighed then walked to his comic collection. He planned to continue read the comic that he just bought yesterday.

Hyesung walked to the living room as dried his hair then thrown himself to the couch beside Eric. “So, you still love reading comic?” Hyesung asked to the older beside him. Eric nodded enthusiastically and turned his attention back to the comic. Hyesung smiled again. Come to think of it, today he’s smiling more than he used to.

“Errm… Hyesung, are you free today? I mean, do you have something to do today? Meeting with someone or appointment? Because-” before Eric finished his sentence, Hyesung looked at Eric with a hurt look. “Okay I understand, I’m going home now” Hyesung said and gather his things on Eric’s table. “IT’S NOT WHAT I MEAN!!” Eric yelled suddenly and that stopped Hyesung from his walk. “I- I… I mean… do you have a time to have a lunch with me? If you don’t mind though…” Eric scratched his un-itchy head nervously. Hyesung replied him with smile and a nodded.

“How are your parents?” Hyesung break the silent by asking Eric from the dining table. Before, Eric said he wants Hyesung to eat his cook and refused Hyesung’s help when he tried to help him. So there he is, sitting boringly in front of dining table. “They stay here now. I mean not ‘here’ but in Seoul” Eric answered. “I miss them” Hyesung mumbled unconsciously. “what?” Eric asked again. “nothing” Hyesung answer quick and Eric just shrugged it off.

“Then how about Shi- Shiyeon? She’s not living here with you?” Hyesung asked and he realized how his voice stuttered when called Eric’s girlfriend. “Shiyeon? Why would she live with me? She already married with a handsome husband” Eric chuckled but Hyesung looked at him in disbelief. Shiyeon… Married… Then…  that’s mean all his sacrifice is useless. No one knows how he suffered and how hard he tried to forget the man in front of him. Hyesung clenched his fist. Hard. He just can’t believe how stupid he was. Why he broken up with Eric with stupid reason. Yes, all he wanted just Eric to be happy.

“Ma- married?” Hyesung asked with hand still clenched under the table. Eric nodded. “Yeah, about a year ago” Eric smiled then spooned a food into his mouth. “A- and you’re… Are you okay now?” Hyesung asked carefully. Eric laughed hard. “Life still goes on and I have to move on. Don't worry. We were broke up about like 4 years ago. By the way, I’m the one who should ask. You looks scary Hyesungie” Eric said then he stretched out his arm to ruffled Hyesung’s hair made Hyesung’s face blush a crimson shade.

“And now?” Hyesung asked. Eric sighed before continue. “Yeah I know, I’m getting old now. 34 years old… My mom keeps nagging how she wants to see me stand in the altar. But, who wants to have serious relationship with me? Look at me… I’m getting old each day” Eric said desperately. Hyesung shook his head. “Listen Eric, age just a number. You’re attractive. Look at you; come on… you look manlier and a lot younger than me-” “Thanks for the encourage Sungie. You don’t have to lie” Eric chuckled. “How come I beat your young look? Your encourage words are going to far” Eric added still chuckling.

“Then how about you? You’ve got any girlfriend now?” Eric asked. Hyesung just shook his head. “Seriously? Impossible ” Eric asked again. Hyesung nodded. “She’s cheating on you?” Eric asked. “Nope, it’s me who break our relationship-” “You’re doing it again” Eric cut and got a glare from Hyesung. “Okay, I’m sorry. Please continue” Eric gave him an apologize look. “We broke up because I think she deserves someone better than me. someone who can love her more than I did…” Hyesung explained and Eric smirked. “What?” Hyesung asked. If he asked what he doesn’t like from Eric, he would straight answer his smirk. It does looks y but somehow it creeping him out.

“See, you’re doing it again. Exactly the same reason you did to me” Eric said and palmed his face. He can’t believe Hyesung did it again. Why he keeps saying someone didn’t deserve him. Doesn’t he know how perfect he is? Eric knows exactly how she felt. No one knows but he cried hard and locked himself for weeks after Hyesung broke him up. He tried to looks cheerful in front of people and that’s work. His poker face work well. But once he reached his house, he cracked into tears. If he didn’t meet Shiyeon, he’s sure he still not over him.

“It’s… It’s different… Your case and her case are different” Hyesung mumbled and squeezed his finger. Face down. Looked at finger like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. Eric stood up and took a seat beside Hyesung. “Tell me how is it different” Eric demanded softly. After all this time finally he got the real reason why the person he love more than anything in the world decided to breaking up with him. Eric is ready for the worst.

“It’s… it’s…” Hyesung couldn’t come out with the words and keep squeezing his finger harder. Eric reached Hyesung’s hand with his hand to calm him down. “Spill it out Sungie. I don’t mind how harsh it sound” Eric said as squeezed Hyesung’s hand softly. Hyesung calmed down and honestly he likes how Eric’s hand holds his. How warm it feels.

“In her case… I really mean he deserve someone better. I can’t continue to receive her love when I’m not giving her any. It does sound harsh but I can’t help my self. I’m still in love with my previous relation that time. I think it’s not fair to keep her for my self when I can’t give her what she gave to me…” Hyesung stopped. “So, you have a relationship before you go out with her?” Eric asked. “Yes” and Hyesung’s answer made Eric frowned.

“Aaaand… I- In your case…” Hyesung stopped and took a deep breath. Eric just waited him patiently. “In your case… I didn’t meant it… I did it out of my jealousy… When she came, I can see the way she looked at you is same like I look at you. She really loved you and when I see how you look at her… I can see you like her too… All I want is your happiness… On that time, I’m sure me being a guy can’t give you happiness in the future. So, it’s better for me to back out and stop being a bothersome before you fallen too deep to me…” After Hyesung said that, he doesn’t dare to look up although he really curious with Eric’s expression. “I do like her that time. But I like her just as a dongsaeng… no more… I love you more than anything that time. But I’m happy to hear that…” Eric stopped. Hyesung looked up and he can see Eric smile and happy tears streaming down his cheek. “I… I thought you really hate me back then… It has been haunted me. I’m so happy you aren’t hate me at all” Eric continued and let out a relief sigh.

“How come I hate you? There is no way I can hate you. You’re too precious to be hated and I can’t stop my self to not loving you even until now-” Hyesung shocked of what he just said. His eyes widened. He immediately closed his mouth with his palm. Face turned to a deep red. Face down again. He feels so stupid. Why in the world he told Eric this. His ‘deepest secret’.

"oh my god... ..."
“I’m going home now”

Hyesung stood up and rapidly took his stuff. His cell phone accidentally fall and it’s showed his background picture. Their picture when they were celebrated their second anniversary. Eric holds the cake while Hyesung took the photo with his other hand. They both look young and cute on that picture.

Looked at that Eric smile widened. He never knows Hyesung still keep that photo with him. He even set it as his background picture. Eric stood up and reached Hyesung hand. Prevent him to leave. Hyesung struggled and tried to remove Eric’s hand but he failed. Eric pushed Hyesung to the nearest wall. Hyesung looked down. Didn’t dare to look up.

Eric gripped loosened. With one hand, he lifted Hyesung’s face. “Is it true?” Eric asked. Hyesung still silent not responds to Eric question. “Look at me Hyesung!” Eric demanded. Hyesung looked up and once again he regret it. It has been a really long time Hyesung not look Eric straight into his eyes but it never failed to make him drown and lost. 
 

Eric looked deep into Hyesung’s eyes. Eyes that he longed so much and it never change. When Eric saw Hyesung lost in his deep thought. Eric took the chance. He closed their distance and pressed his lips to Hyesung’s in really gentle way.

Hyesung brought back into the reality when he felt something soft on his lips. He opened his eyes once again and found Eric leaned his lips on his. It felt so damn right. But Hyesung doesn’t know what to do now. Should he stand still like this although his inner mind wants them to go more than touching lips? His brain in a mess and suddenly Eric bite Hyesung’s lower lip softly. Hyesung yelped and moaned softly. Eric took this chance to slipped his tongue in and explore the cavern slowly. The taste is still same as he remembered. Addicting. Eric can feel Hyesung melted to the kiss and started kissing him back and circled his hands around Eric’s neck. Eric smiled in the kiss.

They pulled out and breathing heavily. They never thought the kiss can be this tiring. Eric looked at Hyesung. Showing his child-like smile. He cupped Hyesung cheek. “Look. We broke up just because of your stupid thought and insecure. I don’t care about you being a guy. You are you. You are the only one who I trully love. And now you should pay for this! I demand you to stay with me with all your life. End of discussion!” Eric said childishly then claimed Hyesung lips once again. Hyesung surrender to the kiss and gave Eric a tight hug to answer him.

A/N: if you feel have read this fic somewhere, I wanna say I just made a little changes based from what I write before and I think this story can fit for Ricsyung too ^^. Thanks for reading ^^