₂₃ Pillow Fight

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~Christmas~

            I have been a complete nervous wreck the next few weeks. As much as I tried to avoid Donghae, he actually calmed me down. How weird. So when the curtains finally closed and everyone stood and cheered, I felt as if a huge weight has come off my shoulder.

            The musical has been a success.

            The cast and I stood on stage and we bowed to the audience while they clapped. I smile when I see Donghae and his sisters cheering for Henry.

            Many people congratulated me, and once people started to leave the theatre, Donghae runs into my arms. He hugged me tightly and I couldn’t help but feel a wave of calmness wash over me while he was in my arms. I smile and hugged him back. “Congrats Hyukjae.” He says happily. I grin and squeeze him a bit; he giggles cutely.

            “Thank  you.” I was smiling so big, and I’m  not so sure it was because of the musical anymore. “I’m so glad you liked it, Hae.” I pull away a bit and pinch his cute cheeks. He giggles once again; I really loved  the sound of his laugh.

            “Oppa.” I hear Hyoyeon’s voice. She pulls me away from Donghae and into her own arms. “You did amazing tonight, Oppa, you are so amazing!” she says happily. I hugged her back so she wouldn’t think I was rude. I couldn’t help but compare her hug to Donghae’s…his was warm and pleasant and hers was ok…nothing special. When I hugged Hyoyeon I didn’t really feel anything.

            “Thanks Hyoyeon, you did great as well…” I mumble.

            Aigo, why am I thinking about Donghae? It really bothered me that he wasn’t near by anymore. I forced a smile as I stared at Hyoyeon.

            “Wanna come over to my place?” she grins.

            I stare at her for a while and slowly nod, “Sure.” I would much rather spend Christmas with Donghae…and t hat kind of scares me. I’m becoming to attached to him.

            “Oh? I thought you would have other plans.” Hyoyeon grins. She seemed just as shocked as I was.

            “H-Hyukjae.” I hear Donghae call for me. He stood a couple of feet behind me. “Can we talk?” he asks.

            “I’ll go wait outside.” Hyo winks at me then walks off.

            I half smile at Donghae, “What’s up?” I stick my hands in my pockets. For some reason I felt ashamed of myself. How could I pick Hyoyeon over Donghae? I wanted to apologize to him. I wanted to beg him to please understand that my feelings are all screwed up.

            “Uhm…*clears throat* I-well, technically, SungMin asked if you two were coming over tonight…” he was avoiding my eyes and staring at the floor.

            I’m glad he wasn’t looking at me. I don’t think I can handle the look of disappointment in his eyes. “SungMin can go over if that’s what he wants.” My heart was hurting. I’m sorry Donghae.

            He frowns and looks at me, “Kay…we can take him…you seem to already have plans for tonight.” His voice trails off, he sounded a bit bitter and that made me feel even more like crap. I’m sorry Donghae.

            “I do…Hyo actually already invited me to her place…” I shrug and approach him but he takes a step back. We stared at each other’s eyes for a while. I was mentally smacking myself for hurting him. I wanted to hold him, to tell him everything that was going on in my head but then he parts his lips before I could say anything.

            “Have fun.” He smiles and walks off, “Let’s go, SungMin!” they walk out of the theatre. My heart felt heavy as I watched them disappear out the door.

            I walked out the theatre and went inside Hyoyeon’s car, “Take me home, so I can change.” I mumble and she nods and drives off. I stared out the window and thought about the dream that has been haunting me non stop. Why did I dream about kissing Donghae?

            I changed into a different suit and then Hyoyeon took me to her place. It was nice, and all but I just really wasn’t in the mood for talking-well at least not to her.

            I tried to pretend that we were together. I tried to pretend that I had feelings for her. Would I ever date her-or any other girl- just to get rid of these feelings I have for Donghae?

            I stared at Hyoyeon and tried to imagine myself kissing her. It was pointless. Even in my imagination I felt nothing. “I should go.” I stand and Hyoyeon frowns.

            “It hasn’t been long, Hyukjae. It isn’t midnight yet…” she stands.

            “I’m sorry, but I really have to go.” I say goodbyes then I walk out of there.

            I called Heechul and KyuHyun, and t hey agreed to meet me at the park nearby. I really needed to clear my head.

            It was almost midnight.

            I sat near a tree, my head was lowered and my thoughts were heightened; Donghae was invading my mind. I exhale deeply when I feel my best friends sit  on either side of me. “What’s going on?” KyuHyun asks.

            “Why aren’t you with Donghae?” Heechul asks. He wasn’t teasing, he sounded sincerely confused.

            “I don’t know what’s going on with me.” I didn’t look at them as I spoke, “I think I should stay away from Donghae.”

            “Are you afraid? KyuHyun frowns.

            “Why would I be?” I didn’t sound too convincing. I knew exactly why I should be afraid of getting too close to Donghae. But is it possible for me to fall for him when I know for a fact that I’m straight?

            Heechul cracks a smile and pats my hand gently, “Hyukjae, do you really want to be apart from Donghae?”

            I thought about it for a moment, thought about not seeing his cute pouts or smile, or anything. Could I really last long without looking into his lake-like eyes? I frown, “Not really.” I whisper. I sigh and shake my head, “I’m going insane.”

            “Are you falling for him?” Kyu smirks.

            “Of course not.” Again, I didn’t sound too convincing.

            “Theres nothing wrong with it if you are.” Heechul urges.

            I stay silent.

            We talked some more and then my phone started ringing. I answer with a smile when I see who was calling, “Hmm?”

            “Hyukjae?” it was Sungmin.

            “Yes?” I crack a smile. I wonder how his night was….with Donghae.

            “Where are you sleeping tonight?”

            I frown. Does he think I’d stay with hyoyeon all night? “Home.” I say simply.

            “Oh…ok I’ll be home soon, k?”

            “Let me get home first.” I crack a smile.

            “Oh…you’re not home yet?!”

            “Nope.” I smile to myself. Even though I saw him hours ago, I actually missed SungMin.

            “Well hurry up!” he whines and I laugh at how cute he sounded.

            “Well just go home and wait for me there. Ask Donghae to keep you company.” AISH, I just cant go o n tonight without seeing him a gain. I frown.

            “Oh, that’s what you want? OK, I’ll ask Donghae.”

            “I’ll see you soon. Bye.” I’ll see you and Donghae…that made me smile.

            “Mhm…bye.” He hangs up.

            I smile at Heechul and KyuHyun as we walk off. “Good luck tonight.” They teased.

            I was feeling nervous as I stood outside the front door. Well…here goes nothing. I slowly open the door and as soon as I walk in, SungMin stands from the couch with a huge grin, “Hi Hyukjae!”

            Donghae stood from the couch. He sticks his hands in his pockets and stares off to the side. My heart hurt…was Donghae mad at me?

            “Well night!” SungMin chirps and runs off to his room.

            I was aching to say something to Donghae. I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me, but I just…couldn’t be with him as much anymore. It could ruin our friendship.

            Donghae clears his throat, “Well night…” he mumbles and walks towards the front door, but I gently take hold of his arm and hold him back. I stare at him and he stares back. He really is beautiful…he still has an angelic aura, like the one he had in my dream.

            Donghae stared at me with a confused expression, “Why are you…” he stares at my hand that was holding onto his arm.

            I slowly release him and exhale. I’m going crazy, Donghae. I’m sorry, but I don’t understand why I’m like this. I stare at the ground and shake my head. “Night.” I whisper softly.

            Donghae walks out of my house slowly.

            Merry Christmas, Donghae.

            I walk up to my room and smile when I see a wrapped present on my bed. I gently grab it and tear off the pretty red and green wrapping paper. I nearly laugh when I take out a piano sheet music book. I smile to myself while I looked through the pieces.

            “Thank you, Donghae.” I look out the window and frown when I see his light was off.

            I shrug and walk off to SungMin’s room, “Hey, mind if I sleep here?” I grin and he only smiles and makes room on his bed.

~Hours later~

            I woke up early to wrap up Donghae’s present. It took me many tries to finally have it look presentable. I showered then I headed out to my neighbor’s house.

            I ring the doorbell.

            Henry opens it and beams as soon as he saw me, “Oh hi Hyukjae!” he sounded excited to see me.

            I smile, “Is Donghae here?”

            “He’s upstairs,” he pulls me inside, “Yea, he’s in the bathroom brushing his hair.” He beams and I only smile and walk up the stairs.

            I walk into his room and set down his gift on his bed. I look to the side and see his sketchbook on top of his drawer. I grab it and hide it inside my shirt. Aish, I felt a bit guilty but I really wanted to admire his art work. He’s really amazing…

            I stand near his bathroom door and knock, “Donghae?”

            No response.

            “You in there?” No, duh, he’s in there. Henry told you he was. He must hate me though, that’s why he doesn’t care that I’m outside the door. I exhale, “You’re man…aren’t you?” I tap my fingers on the door lightly. “Or are you sad…?” Both would kill me.

             “N-No! Neither…” he says loudly and I was only happy he finally decided to say something.

            “Wont you come out of there?” I ask softly. I need to see you…

            “What for?” he asks under his breath, but I was still able to hear him.

            “I want to see you.” I admit.

            “For what?!”

            “For what…?” I manage to stifle a laugh. “Good question…” I mumble. I wish I didn’t yearn to see you. I wish I didn’t care so much about you, but I do. Theres nothing I can do about it now. He stayed quiet. I should just go and leave him alone. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk to me. “I’ll go now…” I whisper. “Sorry if I hurt you in any way…your present if in your room…*pause* Merry Christmas.” I whisper before I walk off.

            For the next couple of weeks, I was drowning in fascination. Donghae treated his sketchbook like a diary and I loved reading his thoughts. Plus, I admired his amazing sketches. Most of them were of me, which made me feel really flattered. He spoke about me a lot in his passages…I was starting to feel really embarrassed by how highly he thought of me.

            I had decided to give him space but then SungMin dragged him over so we would start speaking to one another again.

            We talked.

            I told him I really wanted us to stay friends (I didn’t admit to him how he was constantly on my mind while we were apart). I begged him not to hate me if I decided to date someone. I was planning on dating anyone in hopes to erase these feelings I had, but I just couldn’t do that.

            He promised he wouldn’t hate me.

            Our relationship only grew after that. I really didn’t think my feelings for him could grow, but I was dead wrong.

~Late March~

            “So you sure you want it dark blue…and silver?” Hae frowns while staring at me. He was holding a think painting brush in one hand and a small bucket of paint in the other.

            “Yes. I need to change my room…the old one was boring the hell out of me…you even said it was plain!” I point at him and he laughs.

            He purses his lips, “Fine. Blue it is then.” I smile to myself and watch him as he dips his paintbrush in the bucket. I really wish he would draw something…but how do I ask?

            “Can you…” I was too timid to ask him! I didn’t want to bother him… so I stared at the ground with a small smile.

            “Can I…what?” he stared at me, his paintbrush was already against the wall.

            “N-Nothing.” I look away and grab my paintbrush before walking towards the other side of the wall.

            Donghae clears his throat, “Would you like me to draw anything?” he asks softly. I turn and smile at him. Donghae, you’re the best!

            “If you want.” I turn and begin to the wall with the paintbrush. I smile at the blue that was spreading over the white.

            Donghae and I grabbed the big rolling paint brushes and began to mark all of my walls. Once we were done with the blue, Donghae grabs another paintbrush and dips it in the silver. He stares at my wall, “Want me to draw you a piano?” he smiles at me and I only grin and nod.

            He begins to paint in the outline of the piano and I watched him with fascination behind my eyes. I wish I could do that… I was beginning to feel bad that I wasn’t helping-even though I’d only ruin it.

            “Er,…should I…help? I don’t want to ruin it…” I mumble.

            Hae slightly chuckles, “Its ok, I’ll do this on my own.” He says simply and continues to painting the piano keys all across the wall where my bed’s headboard would be leaning against.

            Once he was done, we decided to rest in the living room. We were so tired, but once we were better we started having a pillow fight. I’m not sure how it even started. The couch pillows were flying everywhere and Donghae was clutching onto his pillow while we laughed. We were on opposite ends of the couch.

            I laugh, “Come on Donghae throw it.” I teased.

            Hae pouts and flings his pillow at me but I quickly ducked and it flies past me. I smirk evilly after I poke my head out and see a pillowless Donghae. He whimpers and runs up the stairs. I run after him and he started screaming. We ran up the stairs and he was heading towards me room, but I was going so fast that once he turns I end up falling on top of him.

            Donghae whimpers and I only laugh and stare at him, my hands pressed on each side of him so I wouldn’t squish him against the floor.

            Dongahe stares at me and whines, “No fair! You’re not supposed to win!” he pouts-I was ing melting by his cuteness, I look down and stare at his lips. Those same lips that kisses me in my dreams…I wonder if they are capable of making my heart stop. I laugh, “Your tantrums are oddly adorable.” I mumble and run my fingers slowly through his soft hair.

            He stares at me with a confused expression.

            Why do I always see you in my dreams? I lean down, inching closer to him and he seemed to stop breathing at that point, but I wasn’t really paying attention to what was happening. I could feel my heart beat increasing-a familiar rush I always felt when he leaned in and kissed me (in my dreams, of course).

            I stared into his beautiful eyes and felt something pulling me closer to him.

            I tilt my head and close my eyes.

            My nose brushes against his softly.

            I could feel Donghae trembling underneath me.

            My lips were centimeters away from him, I was so close to kissing him.

            “Hyukja-AHH! OH GOD IM SO SORRY!!!” SungMin quickly turns and both Donghae and I stare at him. It was like I was broken from a trance. I slowly get off Donghae and stand up. Donghae exhales deeply and stands.

            “SungMin…its fine. What is it?” I clear my throat and stare at Minnie.

            SungMin hugged himself, shook his head and runs off to his room.

            “I should go…” I hear Donghae mumble. I nod.

            “I need to go talk to him…” I say and stare off to the side. Was I really about to kiss Donghae?

            Hae nods, “I’ll…see you some other time.” He says quickly then walks out of the room.

            I make my way into SungMin’s room, “Hey…you ok?” I stare at him and he only frowns.

            “You almost kissed him..”

            I sit next to him on his bed and nod, “I know, I don’t know what I was thinking…”

            Sungmin pouts, “You have no idea how much Henry and I want you two to get together…and I ruined it!” he wails and buries his face with his palms.

            I crack a smile and pull him into my embrace, “Yah…don’t blame yourself.” I tried to cheer him up, but I was lost in my thoughts.

            Sometimes I really wonder if kissing Donghae feels as good as it does in my dreams. I half smile and hug SungMin tightly.

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Hope you enjoy!! :D!!!

I think I’m finally getting to the good part haha 

Aigo, what's going on with Hyukkie? x)