Title :  My Mistake
Author : riacho15
Chapters : 22 (On-going)
Reveiwer : nikatsu

Title 3/10:
The title is very simple and would be something I would click on to check out if I were to see it lined up on my browser. It’s a shame actually since it doesn’t give anything away in regards to your plot which is supposed to be a good thing but in this case, it is not.

Design 9/10:
I really like the design and it was nicely done.

Foreword/Description 8/15:
You wrote ‘Synopsis’ but it reads rather… telling to be called as such. For something to be called a ‘synopsis’, it should be a rather short/vague summary of your plot. Instead, it’s just… obvious. I liked how you opened by introducing the character though so that’s a plus.

Poster 1/5:
A point because you, at least, do have a poster but it doesn’t do much to entice anyone (or in this case me) to read any further. I’m a little sad you didn’t use one of the posters you had requested from shops but to each his own I guess.

Story Format 6/10:
I like that you used a sans serif font and had it on a reasonably good font size for reading. I also like that you didn’t align the whole thing in the center because then I’d be very disappointed.

Characterization 8/15:
I am unsure of how to make of your ‘You’ or OC character but as far as I can tell she’s a typical stubborn, kind-hearted girl. I like the name though so that’s always nice. In case of the main man, Zelo, I found him rather brusque but that’s often cliché at this point since a lot of bodyguard fics have that personality for their ‘men’. Plus, I find him waaaaay too young to be an actual bodyguard but with anime these days, I guess it’s ok. Needless to say there wasn’t much impressive characterization going on.

Grammar 7/15:
Grammar is so and so. Hits and misses but nothing too bad for me to cry over. Your punctuation needs to be worked on though. I found that you would use periods, commas and even exclamation points in a haphazard manner or not at all. Work on that a bit more. Also with capitalization.

Plot 8/20:
There wasn’t much plot going on as this was set in high school and there was no huge mystery to be solved. However, I give you props for effort since you managed to stretch it as long as 22 chapters.

Total : 55/100