Title : Aeternalis
    Author : enlightened_
    Chapters : 8 [On-going]
    Reveiwer : Choi_Kimmy

Title: 5/5
A creative title with a meaning that I can relate to the story, albeit still on-going. I particularly have an extra fondness for Latin titles; it shows the effort of the authors in finding an extraordinary title to use for their story, so 5/5 for you.

Description/Foreword: 3/5
I liked the description, but I find the foreword a bit too long for my preference. [also the font color hurts my eyes]. Nonetheless, it is still alright. There are a few mistakes that I spotted in your description though;

It’s roots -> its roots
It’s beautiful leaves-> its beautiful leaves
Sorrounded -> surrounded
Sybolism-> symbolism


Mechanics (Grammar, Vocabulary, Punctuation, Spelling, etc) : 17/20

Good mechanics, I might say. Although there are some minor mistakes here and there, they are mostly forgivable. Here are some of the mistakes I’ve spotted among all the chapters;

Then suddenly, a sudden rush of heat crept on him. -> Then suddenly, a rush of heat crept on him. (The usage of ‘sudden’ is redundant as you’ve already mentioned ‘suddenly’. There is no need to repeat the word twice here.)

He lost his balance and fell to the bathtub-> He lost his balance and fell into the bathtub.

He called him a freak with disgusted faces -> They called him a freak with disgusted faces. (Since you’re talking about his parents, right?)

“It’s no fair. You’re more older than me…” -> “It’s not fair. You’re older than me…” ( I understand that the ‘it’s no fair’ is a slang rather than according to grammar, however I would still use the correct term as it sounds better. Also, ‘older’ already means that Tao is older than Sehun, there is no need to add a ‘more’ in front of ‘older’. Again, it’s redundant.)

I did not really spot any major mistakes for the back few chapters. Also, there are certain chapters with an excessive usage of ‘He’, like in chapter one. Replacing one of the ‘he’s with Jongin’s name would be better, but then again, it might be your writing style so I will not press so much on this.

No mistakes spotted for Punctuation – good job.

Plot: 8/10
This is a good plot, I must say. I don’t really read EXO fics though so I can’t really say if this is a rare plot among all the other exo fics, since it’s inspired from MAMA mv.

Story Flow: 3/5
The pace of the story is alright. Maybe slightly slow-paced, but I understand the need for such pace since there are basically 12 characters and you need to explain everything about each characters.

Overall + Bonus: 5/5
Love all the chapter titles and the poster.


Total: 41/50

82% = Grade B